The Powerful Influence of Transparency.
One of our most powerful influences is Transparency. So many times we put on a front of “fine.” But when we share our struggles we help other people around us who are also struggling to see that:
1 It’s OK to struggle.
2 That they aren’t alone.
Esther 4:3
3 In every province to which the edict and order of the king came, there was great mourning among the Jews, with fasting, weeping and wailing. Many lay in sackcloth and ashes.
Sackcloth and Ashes were a visible sign of mourning and sadness. It was a way that the people showed that they were is deep distress. It was a way of communicating with out saying a word. They were being honest about where they were in life. Something had happened, something very hard. There are moments in the Bible where it talks about people being in sackcloth and ashes for a year. This is a very vivid picture of just how long this mourning process can take. And in this Chapter of Esther Mordecai was mourning and lamenting before anything even happened. He was showing just how horrible this impeding massacre was going to be and the Jewish people in Persia followed suit!
The Command to be Transparent
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Being transparent doesn’t mean we try to fix people who are hurting or act like we have every answer to every problem. Transparent means sharing our story, and comforting people in their hurt. For however long it takes. Grace never runs out or we are all doomed.
I had this Bible College Professor Mr. S. He Drummed into our heads, that “you can give what you don’t have”. And in a sense that is what the verse is telling us. We receive comfort from God when we go through those hard moments in life so we then can pass on those comforts to those who are struggling around us. Notice how we aren’t told to tell them:
- how to get better
- to fix their problems
- tell them to get over it or move on
- to pretend like we have all the answers.
So the big question is, “HAVE YOU ALLOWED YOURSELF TO BE COMFORTED BY GOD?” But I know that for many of us we would say yes but the reality is that we want things to be fixed. Immediately. In our time. In our way. we May rely on God’s comfort for a time but when things don’t happen in our time or to our liking we say “ok what can I do to change my circumstances”.
Protecting Ourselves with Walls
The opposite of transparent is Hiding, because of fear, or our pride, thinking that we need to have it all figured out and all put together. If we do that then we are in danger of making other people feel that they are failing because of their struggles, like they aren’t good enough, or like they have done something to deserve punishment.
We start protecting ourselves. We build walls and Barriers. God is not a God of walls and barriers, matter of fact he is in the business of tearing them down. Walls and Barriers are NOT transparent. They are meant to keep people out. To keep our hearts hidden and protected from being hurt.
Being transparent or real about where we are at and the struggles we are going through helps us comfort others. Even Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane was transparent when He told His disciples that He was anxious and in great distress. He asked them to keep watch and to pray for and with Him. Did they? NOPE. They could not comfort Jesus in his great distress because they had not experienced that kind os struggle. They didn’t understand, so they slept and Jesus struggled with God. THAT is the very reason why Christ had to die. That is why He is called the Comforter.
Lessons From My Own life
- My eyes- because of having a visual impairment, I am very much aware of those with special needs and whatever it is that they may need. Whereas other people who aren’t familiar may not have any awareness at all that there is a need to be met. It’s not their fault and they aren’t being mean but when I see a mom in a store struggling with a child who is in an all out fit I tend not t judge her for her parenting, but instead I send a warm smile in her direction. Saying “yep I get it, parenting is hard stuff”. I’m not called to judge but I am called to share the comfort I have received from God.
- And the second thing that really has impacted. our lives is an event that happened four years ago. It opened my heart to a whole new realm of ministry and it has impacted it greatly. You can read about that here. and since the time God has done some amazing things and we have had a chance to help others maneuver through these sticky muddy swampy waters of the same circumstances. He have been able to give hope to those who are hurting because we let God comfort us through it. Yes we tried to help things along and struggled when things didn’t happen like everyone told us it would OR should.
- and then there is working at the Pregnancy Center. And as a volunteer I can teach 2 different mentoring classes. I can teach Expectant Moms, because as the saying goes, “Been there done that.” the Center has a policy that if You haven’t been pregnant you can’t teach that Class. Same with Happy parenting. I have 4 kiddos. AND I have custody of them. Now I have not been able to teach this class for people who have teens because until this year I have never parented a teen. However if someone comes in seeking mentoring and they have a child with special needs I am their go to girl because I have a son with Autism and I can share hope with them!
If I let God use those hard things in my life to comfort others (not fix or solve) God will use us. We have to be willing and have faith that he will use those hard circumstances for HIS glory NOT ours.
