Whoa there before this gets blown out of proportion, he didn’t do anything wrong!
he is amazing and each and everyday he grows more and more! But this week, and over the last month I have seen my husband change, and not for the worse. He is taking a stand for something he believes in, our family!
Let me first say this, a lot of times Christian wives (particularly pastor’s wives) get the raw end of the deal. Both hubby and I find it apalling that pastors use their ministry as an excuse to make their wives single mothers! This has been a frustration for a VERY long time, mostly because it couldn’t be more wrong!
in our home we have made the committment to sacrifice for each other! That’s exactly what our wedding vows said. That does not mean that I get all of the responsibilty on Sunday mornings for our kids.
Now most people would say that I personally have issues. That I am a selfish wife and so on and so forth. I have a problem there to. I didn’t tell my husband to think that, matter of fact my husband will tell you he has actually has asked me to “nag” him on certain things, to which I refuse!. since we have been married my husband has completed two degrees and is working on a third. for a couple of years he went to school full time, worked full time and ministered full time,. We all made sacrifices. During that time I was accused of being selfish . More or less i was fighting for our family. To keep it strong and healthy! But My husband is a very wise man. I respect his wisdom and knowledge! But first and foremost we are a team! Without that team he is ineligible to be a pastor. That means if we have a bad marriage his job is on the line. God NEVER intended a job, whether a male or females to come before their marriage!
So why did my hubby make me cry?
This past week we had made arrangements to go to a conference together, along with our kids. We had emailed ahead to see if there was child care and got a response of yes. There was also a mini pastors and wives conference that hubby and I were particularly excited about for which there was also “child care ” provided. Well when we got there we quickly discovered that that meant to the age of two. We also have a four , six and seven year old. There was a homeschooling room provided as well! So our kids could be stuck in a room working on school assignments all that night and the next day while mommy and daddy got fed by God’s word! Hold on a minute, what about the four year old…there was no school work for him. They told me there were lots of rooms i could take him to. This is where my husband became frustrated, not angry but frustrated. I told him it was no big deal, i have done this many many times. I wasn’t upset at all. I have just grown accustomed to this!
My husband though has grown more frustrated though over time. Whether it was the church that we candidated at that had no nursery workers (nor a working speaker) kept me in the nursery the entire time we visited 3 different times and a gentleman had the audacity to say “Thank you for coming and worshipping with us”. When i had no chance for worship sitting in the nursery for three hours! Or our alma mater and how they want the younger alumni to come back and yet wonder why we don’t because there’s nothing for our family’s DURING the speaking time. We can get our kids to be pretty good during the first half an hour BUT three hours of speaking! That’s unrealistic for any college student let alone four kids 7 and under. So even though i encouraged my husband to still go (many MANY times ) to all these things by himself, he refused. The last time i tried to get him to go back to the conference This is what he said, (and this is what made me cry)
” apparently you aren’t getting it, i’m not going back. I’m tired of families not being fed together. You need this too. I did this for you. You get to go to one conference a year. I’m not about to support something that our whole family can’t be a part of. It’s like they are punishing you for being a mom of small children. You give so much, you need to be fed too!”
I melted inside. I know my hubby loves me! I know he works hard for us, but to see him take a stand like that and walk out of a conference for ME. He showed me the love of Jesus like no one else ever has and yes that made me cry! It made me feel like I was worth more to him than any silly conference, retreat, homecoming or meeting!
