I LOVE BEING A PASTOR’S WIFE…..most of the time. I love working with people! Am i always good at it? No not hardly! Sometimes I make mistakes…sometimes I say stupid things.. But despite all of that I know God loves me no matter what.
I didn’t always want to be a pastor’s wife though. I had other passions.
Foreign missions was huge. I answered the call to full time ministry at 16. At that point I had my sights set on Germany. 3 years of the language in high school and German lineage! But at 19 i said yes to somewhere else. And for sox weeks after graduating high school a month prior i ministered within the 10-40 window. An area of our world closed to evangelism. No parents, no friends. I embarked on a journey that would change my entire life. Saying yes to God will do that!. At the end of that trip, holding back tears, I spoke into a camera sharing my love and wanting to return, but now looking back my sadness was not necessarily about leaving butI think I knew in my heart i would never return. (I’m not saying God can’t make it happen but there are things in life we just have an understanding about things.)
so I came home,sad.
Ten days later i was moving my stuff into the girls dorm of the Bible College I would spend the next four years at. I changed my concentration twice in the time. I started in the ESL program (English as a second language). During that time God closed a couple of doors returning to the country I had such a burden for. To this day i still think on those precious memories and the very amazing people and I pray for them and their nation!
After yielding to God, i felt kinda lost. Missions was what I had committed my life to but now , I felt as though God was changing His mind on me. Now I realize that what he was doing was taking me on a journey to being a passionate person….not just about Missions but about HIM…..and HIS WORK!
Next came the Youth Ministries concentration, and here is where a true confession comes in. I did it because of a boy! I thought I was going to marry him! He was going to be a youth pastor. I was also serving in an inner city kids ministry that I loved. I saw and heard some terribly heartbreaking and scary things and yet none of that mattered. I loved those little kids so much! I felt horrible the day we had to sit down with the head of student development and say it was too risky for students to participate in any longer. When the relationship ended and that ministry was gone, again I felt as though God was changing His mind.
This time though something had changed in me…I think it was new found wisdom. I looked at the counseling program, i looked at all the classes I wanted to take, I looked at the missions program again…only one thing made sense….CHURCH MINISTRIES! It had the most non-required electives. I could have a broad horizon so God could lead how He wanted rather than playing guessing games on what God’s will was for me. I knew I was committed to full time ministry , i was open to anything…..anything except being a Pastor’s wife!
Two counseling electives, two women’s ministries electives, two education electives, a couple Bible electives , small groups elective, youth ministries electives and all the required stuff all bound into one concentration…oh and a guy! A guy who at the time I met him knew he would be pastor…..i also knew I would marry him, so that’s why I tried to fix him up with my roommate! Lol makes a ton of sense right?I was afraid….afraid of getting hurt, afraid of failing, afraid of turning out like other pastor’s families (more on that in another post) and afraid of the unknown. My best friend showed me that not all pastor’s families handled things the same way and that with him by my side I had nothing to fear! i never had anything to fear to begin with but he gave me confidence like I had never had before. I still call him my best friend but I have also called him hubby for over 10 years now. How was I to know it would be one of the most rewarding things I would ever do! It coincidentally in also one of the more frustrating things I have done as well. And yet i wouldn’t change any part of my story! Why? Because it is all a part of me. My compassion, passion, excitement, drive, talents, and abilities are not limited to one or two things but many many things. I have spent most of my times as a pastor’s wife ministering to teenagers. I can write my own curriculum for my senior high Sunday school class. I can run a women’s ministry. I can teach children of many ages in junior church/ VBS. I can counsel with women. I can direct a drama production. I can run a small group. I can write a book.
And to be completely honest that’s just scratching the surface of me.
I’m not perfect, no part of ministry is perfect but my God is……and I will strive to do whatever I can for his glory!
