Embracing Being an Introvert in the Land of Mommyhood isn’t Easy…NO NO NO! If you told me back when I was a teenager that I was an introvert I would have said “Say what” Ok so that wasn’t a saying per se BUT I would not have understood what that meant.
Fast forward to College and a lot of people told me I was an extrovert. I liked hanging out in large groups. We would play fun games such as “wWhose Line is it Anyway” (yes BIBLE college version) and Mafia (AHEM) yes you read that right….we spent many hours playing that game, matter of fact we still play that game with our youth group. We played other games too. I have always enjoyed games… of all sorts. Card games, board games, acting games, and games such as Sardines, Mission Impossible and Capture the Flag Basketball and some others. I even know how to play poker, black jack and a few other “questionable” games. It’s a good thing God didn’t say thou Shalt not play Cards because folks I’m here to tell you I have seen good kids play poker with UNO cards. It’s a sin to gamble NOT play a game…Ok so lets get back to the task at hand. In high school I was told I was great at public speaking and got a personal invitation from the coach to be a part of the team…think debate not dead bodies. That love of public speaking grew as I went to Bible College and took Chic-aletics ..The female (nicknamed) version of homiletics (preaching). The teacher didn’t know that the students had secretly been calling it that for years until my friend Amy and I stood talking in the lunch line and she overheard us…she was shocked and then giggled and said I LOVE IT! we just thought “WHEW” I knew then Mrs U. was a kindred Spirit.
What I didn’t realize was, that is actually an introvert quality. Liking large groups over small or one to one groups which coincidentally I find torturous!! It wasn’t until a few years ago that I began to understand who I really was.
I am an introvert.
I would rather watch a movie by myself or with Hubby than go to a theatre. I almost always prefer a quite corner with a book, a journal or my computer to write. Chaotic noise exhausts and aggravates me. Here’s the thing Though, I grew up 1/2 of my childhood in quite country places. I love big dogs who lay on your feet or lay on the couch with their head on your lap while you read….I also LOVE cats for that reason. They are unassuming. I prefer to exercise alone in my own home or at camp outside though accountability is nice. I have zero desire to “go out with friends” at night time into crazy busy places. SHOPPING in crowded stores for thirty minutes makes me feel like I have been up for 3 days straight without any sleep or nourishment. I prefer sitting in a quite coffee shop or book store.
But I have this dilemma you see. There are these four shorter versions of my husband and I that call me mom, mom, mom, mommy, mommy, mommy,MO-mmy…..MOMMY! I love these littles to bits. They make me smile and laugh on a sometimes minute by minutes basis. BUT there are also those challenging moments. Since we have a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder those MOMENTS can be anywhere from once every few days to half a month (folks that is not an overstatement) of solid MOMENTS. In all honesty I have 3 HIGH energy miniature versions of my high energy husband…so yeah 4 high energy, sometimes LOUD people, in my house. So how does this introverted mama of four kids and a hubby and at the moment one dog and one cat, catch her “reboot” moments? Well with each passing phase of my family it has looked differently. When I had Little littles and hubby was traveling a couple of times a week for school in Detroit MI from Rochester NY (yes you read that right) and I had a 2 yo, a 1yo, and a newborn we paid 2 girls to come to stay with me. At the time I thought it was because I didn’t like being alone but hindsight is 20/20 it was because I needed a break, a reprieve, a reboot, a few moments to do laundry, cook supper and clean something, or just sit. I was exhausted.
Then when My hubby took the pastorate we are now in and we still lived in the parsonage, hubby would send me to my craft room to be creative. I would also write on my blog since I have been doing this for a CRAZY long time. And within the last year, we have relied somewhat heavily on TV. I hate saying that BUT when you have had to go through the healing process we have it sometimes has to be necessary. We are very careful about what they watch BUT it is what it is. When we get home from vacation in 3 weeks we will say goodbye to Netflix, and Hello to a new era.
And right now as I sit here writing this I am not with my family at all….matter of fact I haven’t seen my family in 3 days . (I have however talked with them.) They left me at our camper Early (4:30 AM) Sunday Morning and they will be back Friday Morning in time for kids club. I wasn’t sure If I could do this. I have not been away from my children for any longer than 48 hours in 10 years and yet it is exactly what the hubby knew i needed. THIS WAS HIS IDEA! Is it easy…. NOPE. Each and every night when I call to say goodnight to my loves, and I hear their little voices crack as they say “I love you mommy and I miss you” I know in my heart it was good for us all. Not just me but for them too!
So after 3 days I feel relaxed, closer to God, Challenged, ready to get back to the everyday things (thats not going to happen for another two weeks –we will be back Monday next week for vacation) , Ready to simplify, ready to play, ready to enjoy each moment, ready to smell the flowers and reap the harvest of my garden, (it worked well to put it in so late.) ready to get back to the things I love…. reading, writing, blogging, creating.
Everything was beginning to feel like a chore. every part of life seemed to be lacking the joy I once had in doing all things mommy. Will I take a mommy retreat again? Yeah maybe next year. I will also be a part of a great mom’s conference in the fall, BUT it wont be the same. Don’t get me wrong it will be amazing and just as life changing as this week was. Im really excited about it. But even Jesus needed solitude. Time away with His Father, Time away from ministry and People. And my greatest ministry folks is in my home, with my husband and kids. Yes I am a part of other great and mighty works God is using. I really need to care for me. I cant give them what I don’t have and what I NEED to have is a vibrant walk with the Lord. Growing in every way! So how will I “reboot” once I am home and in the midst of the chaotic noise and crazy busyness?
1. I’m going to make a prayer corner. where each morning before my children rise I will have my time with Jesus- I do this but I am going to make it a bigger priority than ever before.
2.I’m going to try to get rid of physical loudness. I have been working on managing the paper monster that visits every day Sunday through Friday. Organizing is an ability I have I just need to make it a priority.
3. Hubby and I next week will be reading the Best Yes together by Lysa TerKeurst and we will be working and praying through that book as we seek God’s Best Yes for our lives. No this does not mean we are changing ministries or something crazy like that. We just want to offer our bests to Jesus so He can use us and our gifts and abilities to the fullest extent.
I’m sure I will write more on this topic over the coming months but for now these are my ponderings of my heart.
How about you? Are you an introvert? An Extrovert? what works best for your “re-booting”?
Leave a comment and let me know what works best for you!Introverted Mommy
