The last 72 hours has been…exhausting. Nothing I can say or do to change that.
I sit here with tea an open notebook…..and writer’s block!
I have much work to be done, but in the midst of all that I have had to hold an extremely obcessive child. He’s been obcessive in so many ways over the last three days. A difficult transition faced head on today. A new school. I was s proud of that brave little boy. He has been so brave over the last week….so excited for the new. That is until we were finishing our tour of his new school on Friday. By the end he clutched my arm and was whimpering this piteous sound that was all too familiar…..it was the “I’m overwhelmed and have had enough” whimper.
We had dinner out, then on the way home it went KABOOM. A huge explosion in the backseat that resulted in flailing hands and feet, screaming and then ended in body heaving sobs. Sobs that carried with it……”I don’t want to leave my old school I love it there, please don’t make me go, why must I go there. I will miss all my friends I will never see them again, they will forget me.”…for 15 minutes til we got home the poor kid just sobbed and secretly hiding our tears from him so did his mommy and daddy in the front seat. The weekend was HORRIBLE! Outbursts. Frustration. Obsessing over every little detail.
Another lament to my poor hubby in the car on Saturday.
Then Sunday afternoon……”Mommy if I don’t like my new school can I go back to my old one?”
*SIGH*
No amount of time in God’s word or prayer can prepare you for certain things. Tonight as I sat holding my screaming son rocking back and forth, singing Jesus Loves Me and Amazing Grace, my heart pleads for comfort. For my son overwhelmed by all things new, and for myself….there is nothing worse than watching your child suffer. It doesn’t matter how much I try to help. And trusting God for those things is oh so hard to do! And yet I must, with every bit of strength I have in me…I must trust God.
I know that God love us so much He sent His Son to die……..so He cares! AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS WHAT WE ALL MUST CLING TO IN OUR WEAKNESS,
Whether it is cancer, a car accident, a lost job or autism. No matter the trial!
