…..and I promise they will, forgive them! We work so hard as moms to teach them, ” if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!” Usually this is all directed at siblings or little friends and/or acquaintances, but one day I promise it will be directed at you! It’s gonna hurt..A LOT! Then you are going to blame yourself. You are going to tell yourself, “i failed my kid”. , ” i didn’t do a good enough job.” No matter their age! Whether they are 3 or 13.
This was a journey I had to endure a lot over the last year. Something that I have endured with each child as they test new waters. As we teach them respect, love and kindness. And each one has matured and moved past this phase. Well all except one. One who doesn’t understand life the way most people do. At the drop of a hat life can change from a happy fun day to a dark storm brewing in the corner of a room just waiting to explode for no apparent reason at all. And whoever is in his path may just be in the line of fire of his brutal tongue lashing.
One thing we learned right away was to show no emotion. Emotion fed his anger and frustration so in a soft voice we would respond, ” there is nothing you could ever say or do could ever cause us not to love you.”
So he re-directed his speech. To God. Oh this hurt a thousand times worse! Especially since this little guy had prayed to be saved at age four before all of this started! I doubted his faith as he went through this emotional frustration. I thought to myself , ” oh Lord please forgive this little guy, he has no idea what he is saying!”
One day in particular was awful as i sat there holding my screaming, thrashing child….i prayed for strength! I prayed for courage. I prayed for help. I started to sing…..amazing grace grace how sweet the sound…. He fought even harder andI sang louder. All of a sudden he relaxed, all the tension relieved! I prayed out loud. When i was done with tears running down his red little face he looked at me and said, “mommy i am so sorry for all the things I said. I didn’t mean them. I don’t know why I said them.” I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said ” i forgive you buddy, but do you know who else you need to say sorry to?” He looked down at his lap and said “God”. And without one single prompt his folded his hand and closed his eyes and prayed the most eloquent prayer of repentance I had ever heard…from anyone…ever! Let alone a nearly 5 year old Autistic boy! At that moment i knew God knew and understood!
My doubts were all gone. I had a new understanding of forgiveness! God will never hold his words against him….and neither should I. Somedays it’s harder than others. I have to realize it’s not my failure. He’s human. He’s gonna have bad days! He’s going to sin, for that matter so will I.
So why not be that picture of Christ to all my kids…not just the one who struggles! After all they will all struggle!
The neat thing is now he asks for Amazing Grace and for me to pray out loud! And in that I have helped my son!
i know that this season is difficult press forward…god will bless!
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