it has been one long , super crazy day! I lay all snuggled under my quilt in my hoodiefootie. I dozed off before hubby brought in the Apples we picked tonight! Yes apples forty…..yes 4-0 gallons, that’s roughly 4 and 1/4 bushels.
My morning went something….i went to a lady from our church’s home. We do this every Tuesday morning. I got there about 8 :30. I didn’t get picked up by hubby until 1:45. From there we went to the local animal shelter to check on two dog possibilities. ….we found Daffy! On the way home we realized that hubby had read the time on his watch and after a quick call to the bus garage, we raced home to get out waiting kids off the bus at home. From there we tried to leave but hubby misplaced the keys, so we broke into our own home…..got the keys, left , forgot the checkbook. Turned around and came home, took the kids to meet Daffy. Daffy came home with us but not before going to pick those forty gallons of apples first. Then to Wal-Mart….then home. Hubby made dinner and i took care of both dogs…..we put the kids to bed and now I am here!, trying to keep my eyes open as I type!
So the winner is Jen B. i didn’t need to use random.org only because only one other brave soul chose to comment outside Stacey and myself! So Congrats Jen, i will send Stacey your email tomorrow.
So on with my story!
Chapter 5- Standing on the Promises
In 1996 I was one confused kid. I was beginning to ask some super tough questions.
“If God really loved me, why am I going through this right now?”
“Why am I so alone in this”
“Why do I have to be SOOOOOOOO DIFFERENT”
And the list goes on and on and on and on…….like a bad kids song that has no end!
But finally there came a promise, a promise that helped me to realize everything was going to be OK….THAT I was going to be OK!
“I will never leave you nor forsake you” hebrews 13:5b
Did it make everything easier….no not really but I knew I was NOT ALONE! And that started me on the road of being ok.
Fast forward….oh I don’t know 17 years later….(wow has it REALLY BEEN THAT LONG). To this past January. My husband and I are just beginning to share with others our news of our 5 year old son. The church takes it mostly ok, some of our family does ok too! But some family made it very clear that they believed we caused this or that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. I again felt very much alone. My heart cracked,breaking into a million pieces…or at least so it felt anyway!
The strength and endurance to just keep afloat were some days more than I could handle. It took a week or two but God kept prompting me to read “Hope for the Weary Mom” and as those pages flowed with truth, promises, and REAL HOPE, I began to understand some pretty amazing things about myself and my son. One of the things I learned was this….
My hope is not based in doctors, medication, or those who are surrounding me. My hope is REAL hope. It’s based in the words God spoke through men!
chapter 6- CHEERLEADERS
In 1996, I didn’t have any! Friends at church, friends at school, they all had the same problem….focus on themselves. I was told by some that I was making it up for attention. I had others tell me they didn’t care, they had their own “stuff” going on. Right around the time I was blindsided a loved teacher passed away. I was lost in the shuffle.
In 2013 i have one major cheerleader, my hubby. He is the only person outside of God who knows about the things I feel called to do! I’m not sure why God hasn’t brought cheerleaders into my life. I have begged, pleaded, cried and searched for mentors and cheerleaders.
A few years ago I thought I had found such a person but soon realized that as I began to share my heart with her, she shot me down before I even finished my first sentence. I was heart broken! Now this is not to say that I don’t have friends because I do! I have great ones but as a pastor’s wife it’s more challenging. It’s more challenging to enter into those types of relationships AND. For some reason, pastors wives really don’t connect with each other in those ways…at least i have yet to see it in action!
Chapter 7 -PRUNING
i like stacey REALLY dislike this process. Cutting away, the dead or damaged parts is a really painful process. I will say this that both in 1996 and now in 2013 both my blindness and my son’s autism have both served as the greatest source of pruning in my life.
In 1996 God pruned from my life the idea of entitlements……”i deserve this……”
And in2013 God pruned off the last few ideals in parenting that I had left and clung to more than any other thing!
Those were some really hard lessons to learn…perhaps the hardest yet!
Well thanks for joining me today as I shared more of my story!
For more BEING OK WITH WHERE YOU ARE STORIES……JOIN STACEY HERE!
