Notice how In that title of true confession I didn’t say VOICES…but then again sometimes the noises in my head sound a whole lot like voices…..the voices of my children, my hubby , the clients at the pregnancy center, my friends, my family, the newscast anchorman, advertisements, authors, teachers, pastors (oh wait that is my hubby) and let’s add my voice in there too. My voice that reminds me of that mile long to-do list, the needing to find such and such that has been missing for 3 weeks, books to read, notes to send, kids to feed….and the list goes on and on and on. and lets be honest MY VOICE tends to show up at 10:05 as I lay my head down to sleep, or at 4:30(Wednesday and Thursday mornings) OR like last Friday morning 3:30.It really never ends. Just as we scratch one thing off, another three jump onto the page. We keep moving.
Well I’m writing aren’t you impressed. It has been quite a while. Do you want to know how I can write?
- I’m not home
- I have no kids with me..only Rosie Our chocolate labradoodle. She doesn’t say a word…unless I leave her to go to the service, then she makes a most pitiful sound comes out of her body. She really isn’t used to the camper yet.
- I’m an introvert, so I have avoided human connection as much as possible and can count on one hand the amount of times I have been on social media in the last 36 hours.
The funny thing is, this is my second year taking this respite time away. My husband has made me. Last year was HARD. This year not so much. When hubby left early yesterday morning with our two youngest, I stood in the camper, stunned by the silence. Not just the external silence but the internal silence as well. THERE WERE NO NOISES. What is this strange phenomenon???
Last year I found myself putting out fires and I was on a rigorous posting schedule for a conference I was working on the team of. This year there is nothing…NOT ONE THING nagging at me to get done. Well except for my reading list.
There is one more voice though…..it is small and quiet and even though it is such, it tugs at my heart far greater that all the others combined and sadly enough because it is not “dire” enough it can often get pushed off until “LATER”.
Continue reading “True Confession: On the Noises Inside My Head”