All week I kept telling myself “Maybe tomorrow”. Well as we know from earlier this week that this week did NOT turn out as planned. Life has been busy this week and somewhere along the way I have wrecked my shoulder, It’s getting better but I have spent a lot of the week in pain just by moving.
So all that to say that I haven’t had time to play. But maybe I did. Maybe it just looked a little different than what I normally would have done. See a few weeks ago-like a month ago really, I made this choice.
The choice
I made a choice a month ago to take on this writing project-100 days of blogging every single day. I have settled into a rather lovely routine but I have other priorities. And when you say yes to one thing you are saying no to other things, When the schedule is full then pay time may look differently. So yes art did happen this week but some other things did. and they were enjoyable. And fun too. I guess most of it really comes down to perspective.
So yesterday Bug and I cleaned out our yarn stash. We just weeded out the colors we just don’t use. I wracked my brain thinking about who I could gibve them to. A friend of our has two older girls who do craft sales in order to gain money for camp and so on. BINGO. I texted her and had the privilege of helping their girls. It helped weed out stuff we didn’t need and it helped them. That’s fun in my book.
The other thing we did was clean out the cedar chest and closet full of clothes that I don’t wear. There is something so satisfying about that. And then I also got the chance the last few days to work on next month’s writing. I have something fun up my sleeve. I am very excited about the things that are coming- and when you are excited about what you are working on it really doesn’t feel like work. it feels like play time. It’s fun. So even though none of these things really seemed like “play time” as I have defined it here in past posts,The truth of the matter is it has been great fun. Fun to help others, fun to move forward in working around our house, fun planning for the future.
It’s all about perspective.
As I sit here tonight typing this I could look back over the last week and see how crazy it’ll been and I could be discouraged and upset That I didn’t get to do “what I wanted to do”. but that is not why I do what I do. So even though I don’t have art to share tonight I do have a healthy dose of perspective as a reminder for myself to stay focused on what I have said yes too.
Maybe this next week
So maybe this next week I will get to do some art. I can tell you that more art is definitely coming in October (there is a hint to part of what is up my sleeve!). But if it doesn’t happen I will choose to see and be grateful for what did happen!.
Thank you so much for joining me for day 35 on this crazy Choosing Courage Journey. We have officially have accomplished one third of the project. If you have missed any of this past posts you can catch up here.
I want to be real and I want to be Transparent I have always wanted to be those things but I also want to be careful not to share too much. That being said I have looked ahead to some of the upcoming questions and I’m gonna be honest at this point in time I cannot share the answers to some of the questions. It doesn’t mean I won’t ever talk or blog about them in the future but for the time being it is just more wise if I keep those answers personal.
All of that being said I will still share some of my answers , I just wanted to be transparent with why I am not answering them all.
So let’s get into some of this weeks Content.
I finally finished Chapter 3 WOOOHOOO! I am actually most of the way through Chapter 4 )I finally feel like I am making progress). There are only 10 chapters in the book but they are HUGE chapters.
Something struck me as interesting that I wanted to talk about from Chapter 3. She was talking about expectations. There can be social expectations and personal expectations and sometimes they intermingle.
Michelle’s Expectations
She talked about how she had expectations for herself and that she had ages tied to them. Well I am here to say I am NOT that Kinda girl. I only really had one expectation that had an age tied to it and that was to go off to college! And that was 19. And big shocker I graduated at 19- flew half way around the world a month after I graduated. came back 11 days before I had to be in the girls dorm. CHECK- but the rest of my expectations were not about when they happened.
9You can Check out Michelle Poler’s Youtube Channel here where thee took on a 100 day project of facing her fears.0
Going to Bible College
There were some assumptions that people made of a girl attending Bible College- They are ridiculous really. BUT nonetheless it is a what people think. Let’s talk about that assumption.
That you are there for your MRS degree.
There are sayings like:
Ring by spring or your money back.
And various names that turn BIBE in the college’s name to BRIDAL.
That was not me.
BUT that was not me. I had no desire to get married when I headed to college. I had already tasted intense ministry half way around the world. I put my head down I was just doing my job and I had my eyes set on returning to the country I had just come home from. I was addicted to and passionate about serving Jesus and THAT is what I did. Every chance I got.
Along the way I got into some trouble. I was a tomboy. I have two younger brothers. I had all guys friends my senior year. 7 to be exact. We played football, we went to football games. We went to amusement parks and parks Then when I got to bible college I was thrown into the girls dorm. Talk about feeling like I was in another country. The whole time I was in the other country just weeks ealier I never had culture shock, that is until I got home. I suffered from reverse culture shock and then getting thrown into the girls dorm- that was culture shock. All I wanted to do was be bacon that other country.
I sought out friends that I was comfortable with
So I picked out a couple of guys that reminded me of my friends I had left behind. That did not go as I had hoped. They assumed I was looking for a husband. This just kept happening. There was nothing as awful feeling ike you can’t fit anywhere. SO I served wherever I could. This was a detriment to my school work. Then I met a guy. He wanted to be my boyfriend. He made a lot of promises. And then one day he told me ” well if I don’t marry you, who am I going to marry, there is no one a home my age.” I WAS HIS LAST RESORT? Holy Cow!
My Expectations
I didn’t have any.
For a fleeting moment I had an expectation to be married- based on a promise. But when we broke up and I went home on summer break I had a renewed sense of purpose and that was to prepare for full time ministry. That was where I expected to end up. God had closed the doors to the place I had thought I would spend the rest of my life.
I had no idea what full time ministry I would be in but I know two things
I wasn’t going to be a pastor’s wife
it wasn’t going to be in the country I had thought.
OH and I was going to be single.
But God had different plans
And then I showed up to school. August of 2001. We all know what was about to happen in September and I was about to gain the absolute best friend of my life. Something I have nEVER really had.
I was trusting God for every little piece.
The world may have a boat load of expectations for me.. But I don’t have expectations , I might have dreams, and hopes and I trust That God has a great plan for me..
Yes so I dreamed that I would get married to my now hubby (but not before I tried to hook him up with my then roommate). I was too scared. Once we got married I hoped we would have kids. THAT took a year and a half and a whole lot of trust.
I trusted that I was called into full time ministry and even though I did NOT want to be a pastor’s wife, once I met my hubby I knew that is whatI was called to do.
I had the desire to learn to paint- and I had no idea if that would ever happen but that amazing hubby God gave me – He fostered my passion to create NO matter what form.
And someday I would LOVE to write a book- but I don’t have the EXPECTATION that this will happen.
Sometimes it takes a while to get it
I did these questions a week ago but as I have pondered theses expectations questions and thought about writing this post I came to realize that I trust Jesus and expect and know that he is going to fulfill his promises in Scripture- that he is never going to leave me or forsake me. That he has a plan and purpose for everything in my life and that he’s going to take this really hard things and use them for his glory.
This all comes down to one thing MY PERSPECTIVE.
How do I look at myself and what happens to me? It comes down tony purpose…..HMMMM I have written about these things things this week. My life isn’t about fulfilling my expectations. It’s about loving God with all of my heart soul mind and strength. It’s about pleasing Him not others or myself.
It’s about being transparent with where I am at and how I am trusting the God of the universe to meet my needs!
Thanks so much for Joining me on this journey of Choosing Courage. If you are new here and have not yet heard about by 100 day writing project I encourage you to check out my first post that explains it all here.
Need to catch up? You can check out all the Choosing Courage posts here.
Please remember that I am blogging my way through this book and I have not yet reviewed and and I do not know if I can yet recommend it.
Today did NOT go as Planned! When I woke up this morning I had a long list of things that needed to be done and accomplished. I had goals and intermingled with those goals and tasks were the everyday things like Google meet appointments, helping the kids with school work, making meals and house hold chores. Nothing earth shattering.
But Planned does NOT mean it’s going to happen.
I am a planner by nature. So I live off of to-do lists and getting things done….and then there are days like today…you know the ones. Everything takes WAY longer than it is supposed to. Or everything seems to go wrong or as this morning goes everyone needs something. It’s not a bad thing necessarily but you start something and then you continue to bounce from one thing to the next and it feels like nothing really gets finished. Take our vitamin boxes for example. I needed to fill them up today. Mine is finished after being interrupted 3 different times and I cannot even tell you how many times I lost my coffee cup as I played mommy pinball.
Sometimes we lose sight of what’s most important…..we forget where our strength and endurance comes from. JESUS! When I was sitting waiting for the next surprise IEP meeting to start and I check todays #Hopewriterlife writing challenge over on Instagram and the word for today is HOPE. So this is what came to mind and what I ended up writing…
I don’t have to plan Hope.
And today is the last day of the @hopewritersInstagram wring challenge. It’s been fun for sure but a little taxing on top of the writing challenge I have going on over on my blog.
Can I tell you though that this week has been crazy busy and crazy messy! But in the middle of all the crazy and messy I still have hope! Because hope isn’t in an empty schedule or a less stressful day. Hope is a person. Hope is Jesus! If all lease is in complete chaos we can still have peace and comfort and hope! Because HOPE IS IN COMPLETE CONTROL!
No matter the crazy and messy and confusing and overwhelming- HOPE is always there.
And in the middle of all the crazy- I had peace. It was the exact reminder I needed. The words of my own instagram post hit me like a load of bricks. So as much as I wanted to share my answers to the Journaling sections of Hello Fears (book by Michelle Poler) There is always tomorrow!. Those answers aren’t going anywhere.
Have you had any days like that recently?
Thanks so much for joining me for Day 33 of my Choosing Courage 100 day writing project. If you are new here you can check out the rest of the posts here.
Welcome to Day 32 of my 100 day writing project! I so enjoy looking for joy in the little things each day and I pray that you are taking the time to find Joy in your days as well. We are commanded to give thanks in all things. That means in the good AND the Bad! and you will see that on day 11- with the 3 Hard Euaristeos )hard gratitude- thankfulness)
Day 10- 3 Gifts moving
The kids and hubby are always on the move
Clouds- the sky is always changing
The seasons- Never Changing
Day 11- 3 Hard eucharisteo
Remembering 9/11
waiting
not knowing what insect- builds faith and trust
Day 12- 3 Gifts in His Word
Hebrews 10:24- purpose statement for the blog
Joshua 1:9 The verse to begin my blog series
James 1:2-4 A great reminder of endurance
Day 13- A gift scented, scrawled, and started
scented- Candles
scrawled- notes to self in my writing notebook
started-New Journey– a new journal, , a new found excitement and passion for writing
Day 14- 3 gifts drawn
all of Child #3’s artwork
Hubby’s sketch of the Dawn Treader
little drawings on the sides of my Journal pages
Day 15- 3 Gifts paired
Hubby and I
SHOES!! It’s awful when you are missing one of every pair!
wireless headphones to my phone. So I can listen and work at age same time!
Day 16- 3 gifts shared
gluten free Oreos with my gluten free partner in crime!
A cup of English Toffee Iced tea from our favorite drive through Coffee Shop!
Laughter over a TV show I loved as a kid- The Belly laughs were intense tonight!
I’m so glad you came by for the Joy Dare this week and I’m praying You all have a fabulous week full of gratitude and Joy!
And how about You what have you found joy in this week?
For more Joy Dare posts click here and for more Choosing Courage Posts click here.
To Check out The Joy Dare and One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp click here.
I love to write. I always have. But you already knew that. BUT I struggle to write a purpose statement. The point of a purpose statement is that it’s short Concise and easy to remember. But if you have been around here for very long you know that concise isn’t on the of the words that describes how I write.
Well back one month ago as I began this writing journey, I began to consider writing a purpose statement for my blog. I could tell you what the purpose of my blog was but it would not be concise.
It rolled around in my head and I have thought many times how to articulate it. bu nothing ever seemed good enough,
A lesson in every little thing
Back in December when I was living every waking second and some of the not quite awake but not quite asleep moments, praying that God will get me through that moment.
Whether it was moments of pain ( That was the majority of the moments) or laying in the ER waiting for the next procedure You can only count the tiles on the ceiling to many times. I quickly learned that God really did care about every little thing. It was a hard lesson. But by the end of December I was taking every little thing to HIM. I wasn’t fretting about the details anymore.
But How Quickly I Forget
Fast forward to now and I am just hanging out pondering all these details – trying to do all the things myself and then when God shows up I sit mouth gaping at the pastor when he answers a question he didn’t even know was asked.
I mean seriously the WHOLE month of DECEMBER I spent learning this lesson…and I just forgot the lesson.
So about that purpose!
There I was listening- taking notes and BAM
Hebrews 10:24 NLT
24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.
That’s exactly what I try to achieve her and on Social media. I want people to grow in their walk with God! I want people to grow in their love and good works!
I cannot tell you the number of times I have read the book of Hebrews and never really noticed that verse.. And yet there it is.
Baby Steps
Over the next few weeks and months there will be some changes here on the blog. She will be getting a facelift. BUT what’s more important is that the bones of this blog are sturdy. And that starts with a rock solid purpose Statement. It is what will be what keeps me on track and not lose sight of what I need to be writing about!
I can have a pretty blog but at the end of the day if I have no purpose or lose sight of my purpose I will not have joy in what I am doing! And right now I am loving what I am doing!
Thank you so much for joining me on this growth journey. That is what this project is….It’s pushing me to grow beyond my comfort zone. And it’s helping me to see just what God wants me to write about.
Thank you for being patient with me as I wobble with each baby step on this journey. If you are new here and you are asking what on earth is this girl talking about? Then you can check out this blog post here and if you have missed any of the blog posts you can check them out here.
