Hello everyone, Welcome back to my 2021 Joy Dare Challenge. I know that I haven’t been posting the weekly Dare prompts here but you can be sure I have been keeping it going in my daily devotions. As much as I would love to have a record of all of the Dare prompts here I just don’t have the time to catch it all up, so I am just going to have to keep the record of it in my journal!
The Joy Dare has played an internal part in helping keep my perspective in line over the last 8 months. Focusing on what you are most grateful for whether its big things or the smallest of blessings takes your focus off the struggles of this world or our own hardships and places our sight on who it exactly belongs on…..the bestower of all of these blessings…..big and microscopic…….God himself.
So Let’s Jump in.
August 13th-19th 2021
Day 13- 3 Gifts in Green
The grass and trees
my bullet journal
FROGS!!
Day 14- A gift in a ring, curve, and sphere
Ring- the fire ring in our side yard- so many memories
A curve- as I a curve ball- it changes everything including our perspective
A sphere- the sun- a big bright warm glowing ball in the sky
Day 15- 3 gifts ugly beautiful
My petunia plant- all of the green leaves are withered but the flowers are still blooming in all their beauty
A room we are working on- it’s like a painting it’s “in the ugly stage” but the progress is beautiful. It reminds me of the state of our lives.- we have very ugly spots according to the way the world looks at us, but when Jesus come in and starts working on the. ugly parts he transforms them into something beautiful.
Calloused, scarred hands. Hands that work so hard and take care of many people. those hands are taken for granted and yet they keep serving and loving. Beautiful hands and feet are those that serve God at the expense of their physical beauty!
Day 16- 3 Gifts of family
Hubby and oldest child #1 returned home after a hiking weekend way.
working together for a common goal
laughter, love and craziness
Day 17- 3 gifts in the morning
Sweet moments talking with hubby before work.
Devotions and Prayer
Silence before the day begins
Day 18- A gift red, read and written
Red- The deep red of a sunset then mixing into other colors that create a perfect painting given to all who take the time to notice and different for everyone according to the position and perspective.
Read- Hello Fears- talk about perspective change- it’s teaching me how to loo at fears differently.
Written- blog posts that I’m writing and posting Really setting me free.
Day 19- 3 Gifts in Church
Support- building up and encouraging each other
Laughter- not superficial or fake- but pure JOY and NOT at other people’s expense
Friendships- a closeness that is like no other
How about you? What are you thankful for big or small?
Interested in more of my Joy Dare posts you can click here
To Learn about more about Ann Voskamp’s Book One Thousand Gifts and The Joy Dare Check out her website here.
Welcome to day 3 of My Hello Fears writing Project. This post about debunking a lie that plagues the church today is a LONG time coming. It has been hiding in my drafts for nearly two years because I was too afraid to hit the publish button. Well today is the day folks.
STORY TIME!!
When I was in Bible College there was a theme communicated whether intentional or unintentional that ministry leaders should not have close friendships within the church they serve (this was not taught in every class, but it was in some). It surfaced it’s ugly little head in subtle ways.
Then we graduate and we move on into ministries…..not all but most. Some get married and some don’t. some work with parachurch organizations and some in churches and some take everything they have learned in Bible college and give everything they have to an organization or business that doesn’t necessarily have faith as a basis but they change the face of their job because of their willingness to set aside themselves and serve Jesus with ALL of their hearts. But for all, in ministry or on the job, they ended up as a part of a team.
And two things happen when you work together as a team…You either hate each other- or you grow closer together. More often than not it’s the latter. There are some dividing things that cause the team to be dysfunctional and that is a post for a later date. For now let’s focus on the lie at hand.
AS A MINISTRY LEADER YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE AN INNER CIRCLE OR CLOSE FRIENDS WITHIN THE CHURCH.
As I moved from the Bible college setting to a setting that had my husband in seminary, I found myself in a new place I had never been…without a ministry. I was working full time and I was a new wife and the church we attended had A LOT of college students doing almost all the ministry- and I felt lost. Serving was a part of my SPIRITUAL DNA that God had created within me. It was clear even as a young child. It was a hard place to be. It was during this time that God developed certain passions and talents that had never really had a chance to bloom in my adolescence.
My last year and a half as seminary wife I was asked to be on the leadership team- they originally asked me to be treasurer but by that time I knew my talents were not in that area so I spoke up and told them so. Being wise professor’s wives they asked me what I was good at- and I knew where my heart jumped with joy- HOSPITALITY!
And that’s what they asked me to be -Hospitality Coordinator. And this is where I cut my ministry teeth on a ministry team. I knew that someday that is where I would be and that’s how I wanted to serve. Creating a team of women with that same passion as I had. To serve Jesus loving women of all ages and bridging an ever widening generation gap.
There’s a problem though-
When you serve with a group of believer’s for the same cause… you grow closer and closer, because life experience draws people closer together. When you roll up your sleeves and you get your hands dirty together there SHOULD BE A CLOSENESS that develops. THAT’S WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!
How do I know this?
You have to look no farther than the gospels and the example Jesus set.
“You took 12 outsiders nobody would have chosen and you changed the world” (Nobody by Casting Crowns and Matthew West).
They were failures, they had all fallen short in some way or another and were not a part of he religious scene. They were detestable in the eyes of the religious leaders. They were really “outcasts” by the social standards of their day.
It hasn’t been until the last 2 months or so that I have been able to articulate it quite this way. It took some battles and wrestling and much inner turmoil because the lie of no inner circles or close friends within the church for ministry leaders is still alive, well and going strong.
The reality is if those relationships aren’t there, then your ministry is nothing but surface deep, The problem with close friendships and inner circles is this ATTITUDE. When members of the team start seeing themselves either as better than other team members or too good for the people you are serving or ministering to then the team changes from an inner circle to a clique…..Do you remember Jr. High?
Jesus had many other friends besides the 12 (his inner circle) He had Mary, Martha and Lazarus…. just to name a few. He spoke truth to Martha when she had a skewed view of her sisters “distractedness”. And Martha listened- changed and grew. The inner circle/ close friends are more than just buddy buddy. They push each other the grow., to become better versions of themselves (or at least they should(. They call us out when we head down a wrong path because they don’t just care about our friendships, they care about our souls!
He didn’t think he was better then her- he corrected her wrongful thinking.
There were many misunderstandings but the group was committed to the common cause- the teaching of Jesus- GRACE- MERCY- LOVE.
So Let’s Change the mindset and the church and debunk this lie together
There are two ways that we can change this mindset
#1 We the ministry wives need to live our lives differently. We need to not be afraid of friendships and an inner circle within the church. BUT we need to be careful. We need to guard our hearts. We need to make sure we aren’t really in a clique. and we need to make sure that our mouths keep confidences and that we aren’t breaking confidences.
I know that we all are human and that we all make mistakes (I know I have made plenty) BUT it is completely possible. to live out the example of Christ AND IT SHOULD HAPPEN! Without that inner circle we cannot grow the way we should. And our people won’t be impacted.
The other thing that we most MUST MUST guard against is ignoring the women within our churches and ministries for the sake of the inner circler even worse acting like you and your circle are better than everyone else. We cannot and should not sacrifice our relationships with the other women around us. This will damage our ministry and testimony,
#2 Women of the church- set aside jealousy. You may not be a part of the inner circle and don’t hold that against the ministry wife, Inner circles change over time, and my challenge to you is to be ready.Prepare yourselves to be the women to fill the inner circle vacancy. A wise ministry wife won’t invite someone into the circle that will be harsh, back-biting and two-faced. She will understand that, if you are willing to gossip about other people , that you will be willing to gossip about her. She also won’t surround herself with negative complaining people.
She needs all the support she can get. Don’t be apart of the problem be apart of the solution. Together we can embrace the truth of Jesus’ example of having an inner circle of friends and change the face of ministry within the church today. That means when others start the gossip or show jealousy, we need to stand up for the Biblical answer not just listen to all sides (more on that in later blog post.)
So how about you, What role can you play in changing the face of this problem today?
Check Out my other Hello Fears writing project HERE!
So today we are going to chat about the book Hello Fears by Michelle Poler. Right now life is busy as we are gearing up for our second year of homeschooling so reading time is cut downs I won’t be progressing very fast.
Over the last two days I have read through page 26. And a brief detour to chapter 10 (per Michelle’s instructions). to get a better understanding of Michelle’s family history and the root of her fears. I think if we are all honest we all have deep roots that cause our fears.
A couple of my fears-
heights and the fear of falling
disappointing people
people’s criticism
making mistakes
hurting people
being misjudged/ misunderstood
Those are the top ones. Now as I Mentioned yesterday I am focusing on my writing because that is some of the greatest fears I am struggling with and keeping me from living life to the fullest. These fears are keeping me from doing something that I love.
Categories of fear
Michelle talks about how our fears fit into seven Categories. Those Categories are:
pain
danger
embarrassment
Rejection
loneliness
lack of control
disgust
For our assignment we were suppose to rank them from 1- being “sure I can handle it” to 7- “I would rather be dead! See Ya”
SO here’s my list.:
Disgust- hello I have four kids (3 of which are boys) and I have been to another country where I ate silkworm, pigs ear, chicken hearts, a whole squid and jellyfish.
loneliness- I am an introvert and I need that time alone to refill my people tank. It gets number 2 spot because unlike Michelle I don’t need people around me all the time. As a kid and teenager and even into my young adult years I feared being alone and needed people around to feel safe
Conrol- I like to feel in control of situations but the reality is I am not and I am *Mostly* ok with that. If you talked to me back in December I was pretty upset about December being ruined. And over the last 8 months I have struggled with anxiety and fear with my health being out of control. One of the speakers at the Global Leadership Summit said “The only constant thing in this life is change”, everything constantly changes and it’s how we handle those changes that matters.
Pain- I do not like pain. physical pain or mental/ emotional pain. though I think the latter is a bigger struggle for me. I don’t like getting hurt by people. And I am very afraid of inflicting that kind of pain on people as well.
Danger- Who likes being in danger? Not me…No sir.
Embarrassment- I have friends who have definitely pushed me past my limits in this area. My entire life this has been a huge fear. I am guessing rooted in some major bullying that happened as a kid/ teen.
Rejection- and this is why we are here. This fear has many facets for me and I am VERY sure we will be diving deeper into this in the coming chapters.
So How about you? How would you rank your categories of fears?
Hey all, It’s been a few months and a lot has happened in our lives since I last wrote here on March 15th! I wanted to start off by saying that this isn’t a book review (YET!). That will come at the end of me reading the book. but first how I got here to Hello Fears.
Health Issues
I have mentioned a few times that I had some medical issues back in December It was a surprise and came out of no where. It was brutal. I landed in the emergency room 3 times in the month of December plus one scheduled procedure and 2 separate nights in the hospital. That part of my medical journey came to an end after my 6 month check up in June. But because of that adventure it brought to light 2 other issues that are kind of related. I am currently in the middle of figuring those things out.
One is a auto-immune issue. I have currently finished my testing for and just waiting for results and plan of attack- the doctor said it is usually a simple fix but I will discuss that more at a later date as we learn more about what this entails.
The second is an ongoing battle of iron deficiency and anemia I am currently not anemic jus iron deficient. We are working to figure out of I have celiacs disease and I have gotten my first two iron infusions and I am currently feeling much better. And now I find myself in the wait.
Ministry Update
In April my husband resigned as pastor of our church. We have served at this church for just over 12 years and it has been such a huge part of our family! So much so that after one vacation one of our young children clapped their hand and said “Yay we are home” as we pulled into the church parking lot.
This was a very difficult decision to make but God made it very clear it was time for us to move on. Many tears were shed both with our church and here in our home. We didn’t have a ministry to move on to so we still live in our home here in the same area.
We are currently in the search process and Hubby is working in the construction field. It has been stretching process but we continue to grow and learn and grow closer to Jesus each and every day. And despite the tests we have had some really neat opportunities. We have reconnected with friends we haven’t had the chance to connect with in a long time.
The last two weeks -Facing my fears head on
So now that you are up to speed on what the last 8 1/2 months have held we can now talk about how the last two weeks have been an adventure. Hubby got a call from a local pastor friend and asked if he and I wanted to attend the Global Leadership Summit together. Hubby has attended the conference for quite a few years but we just thought this year wasn’t going to work out. Low and behold God had other plans.
I had never attended the summit before and I’m not going to lie I was concerned. The exhaustion level I was experiencing from the iron deficiency was rendering me useless after just a few hours each morning. I was afraid that I was not going to be able to stay awake or have a clear mind to focus. As it was , My hubby spoke up in my doctors appointment and asked the doctor if we could start the iron infusions sooner rather than waiting for another test. He said sure why not. and I managed to get my first infusion before the second day of the conference.
As we left that day hubby noted that I looked so much better. and I felt better. it was supposed to take a couple of weeks but the effects were pretty amazing.
The First day of the Summit
The first speaker oof the Summit coined a new phrase. PUC. PAIN. UNCERTAINTY. CHAOS. HMMMMMMM. “I think I am supposed to be here” I thought to myself. PUC defined the last 8 1/2 months.
The next speaker I had never heard of- Michelle Poler author of HELLO FEARS. What I didn’t realize was that the biggest theme of the two day summit was going to be Bravery, Courage and getting out of one’s comfort zone. AKA facing our fears – I was in for it!
Michelle talked about her #100DayProject and she chose to face 100 fears. And I was hit square between the eyes with the reality that I have been living within a comfort zone- being fearful. The reality of the matter is I have been letting fear control what I write here. You can check out her YouTube Channel HERE. (DISCLAIMER:I haven’t viewed all videos)
The Easy Way out
I write from my own devotions and reading, messages I hear, and personal experiences. If I am writing something oftentimes its born out of what I am reading and the messages I have heard that will also coincide and thoughts will form. My purpose in writing is to help people grow in their walk with God and this includes myself . Many times I write to myself. In the past my writing whether on social media or here has been critiqued and I have been accused of being angry. I have had to take social media posts and blog posts to friends and hubby and have them read them to let me know if that is really how they sound. Honestly that was never my intention. And so the people that know me and my heart have been the barometer of those posts.
However I began to be afraid to share anything because I didn’t want to come across as angry. so I let that fear win and I chose the easy way out. I just focused on the fun stuff. the fluffy stuff and I set aside the growing list of blog posts coming out of bible study, devotions, reading and real life .
The next steps
So I came home and I purchased the book. I texted a friend and told her my desire. She has been walking the last 8 months with me. She has checked in on me And God had been prompting me to ask her to help me on this journey. but I again was afraid, Of being rejected. because that happened too, more times than I can count but I needed to be brave and take the step to move forward.
So here I am, my friend has the list of 47 HARD blog posts I have been putting off (for years!!). I am still going to write the fun stuff. I am just going to write and my friend is going to make sure I write the hard stuff. The stuff I have been afraid to write. I am going to face these fears and embrace the gift I have been told I have. I also learned that I need to stop coming up with the worst that can happen and ask myself what is the best that can happen.
What to expect in the coming weeks- Facing My fears
This is the first big steps of many more steps -99 to be exact. I am also going to step out and share a fun side of myself that I haven’t really shared here before.
Tomorrow I will begin my journey by sharing my journey through this book. I plan on blogging all of the exercises and journalling parts.
Will you join me as I tackle this #100Day Project of facing my fear of writing like the real me?
