Hey all, It’s been a few months and a lot has happened in our lives since I last wrote here on March 15th! I wanted to start off by saying that this isn’t a book review (YET!). That will come at the end of me reading the book. but first how I got here to Hello Fears.
Health Issues
I have mentioned a few times that I had some medical issues back in December It was a surprise and came out of no where. It was brutal. I landed in the emergency room 3 times in the month of December plus one scheduled procedure and 2 separate nights in the hospital. That part of my medical journey came to an end after my 6 month check up in June. But because of that adventure it brought to light 2 other issues that are kind of related. I am currently in the middle of figuring those things out.
One is a auto-immune issue. I have currently finished my testing for and just waiting for results and plan of attack- the doctor said it is usually a simple fix but I will discuss that more at a later date as we learn more about what this entails.
The second is an ongoing battle of iron deficiency and anemia I am currently not anemic jus iron deficient. We are working to figure out of I have celiacs disease and I have gotten my first two iron infusions and I am currently feeling much better. And now I find myself in the wait.
Ministry Update
In April my husband resigned as pastor of our church. We have served at this church for just over 12 years and it has been such a huge part of our family! So much so that after one vacation one of our young children clapped their hand and said “Yay we are home” as we pulled into the church parking lot.
This was a very difficult decision to make but God made it very clear it was time for us to move on. Many tears were shed both with our church and here in our home. We didn’t have a ministry to move on to so we still live in our home here in the same area.
We are currently in the search process and Hubby is working in the construction field. It has been stretching process but we continue to grow and learn and grow closer to Jesus each and every day. And despite the tests we have had some really neat opportunities. We have reconnected with friends we haven’t had the chance to connect with in a long time.
The last two weeks -Facing my fears head on
So now that you are up to speed on what the last 8 1/2 months have held we can now talk about how the last two weeks have been an adventure. Hubby got a call from a local pastor friend and asked if he and I wanted to attend the Global Leadership Summit together. Hubby has attended the conference for quite a few years but we just thought this year wasn’t going to work out. Low and behold God had other plans.
I had never attended the summit before and I’m not going to lie I was concerned. The exhaustion level I was experiencing from the iron deficiency was rendering me useless after just a few hours each morning. I was afraid that I was not going to be able to stay awake or have a clear mind to focus. As it was , My hubby spoke up in my doctors appointment and asked the doctor if we could start the iron infusions sooner rather than waiting for another test. He said sure why not. and I managed to get my first infusion before the second day of the conference.
As we left that day hubby noted that I looked so much better. and I felt better. it was supposed to take a couple of weeks but the effects were pretty amazing.
The First day of the Summit
The first speaker oof the Summit coined a new phrase. PUC. PAIN. UNCERTAINTY. CHAOS. HMMMMMMM. “I think I am supposed to be here” I thought to myself. PUC defined the last 8 1/2 months.
The next speaker I had never heard of- Michelle Poler author of HELLO FEARS. What I didn’t realize was that the biggest theme of the two day summit was going to be Bravery, Courage and getting out of one’s comfort zone. AKA facing our fears – I was in for it!
Michelle talked about her #100DayProject and she chose to face 100 fears. And I was hit square between the eyes with the reality that I have been living within a comfort zone- being fearful. The reality of the matter is I have been letting fear control what I write here. You can check out her YouTube Channel HERE. (DISCLAIMER:I haven’t viewed all videos)
The Easy Way out
I write from my own devotions and reading, messages I hear, and personal experiences. If I am writing something oftentimes its born out of what I am reading and the messages I have heard that will also coincide and thoughts will form. My purpose in writing is to help people grow in their walk with God and this includes myself . Many times I write to myself. In the past my writing whether on social media or here has been critiqued and I have been accused of being angry. I have had to take social media posts and blog posts to friends and hubby and have them read them to let me know if that is really how they sound. Honestly that was never my intention. And so the people that know me and my heart have been the barometer of those posts.
However I began to be afraid to share anything because I didn’t want to come across as angry. so I let that fear win and I chose the easy way out. I just focused on the fun stuff. the fluffy stuff and I set aside the growing list of blog posts coming out of bible study, devotions, reading and real life .
The next steps
So I came home and I purchased the book. I texted a friend and told her my desire. She has been walking the last 8 months with me. She has checked in on me And God had been prompting me to ask her to help me on this journey. but I again was afraid, Of being rejected. because that happened too, more times than I can count but I needed to be brave and take the step to move forward.
So here I am, my friend has the list of 47 HARD blog posts I have been putting off (for years!!). I am still going to write the fun stuff. I am just going to write and my friend is going to make sure I write the hard stuff. The stuff I have been afraid to write. I am going to face these fears and embrace the gift I have been told I have. I also learned that I need to stop coming up with the worst that can happen and ask myself what is the best that can happen.
What to expect in the coming weeks- Facing My fears
This is the first big steps of many more steps -99 to be exact. I am also going to step out and share a fun side of myself that I haven’t really shared here before.
Tomorrow I will begin my journey by sharing my journey through this book. I plan on blogging all of the exercises and journalling parts.
Will you join me as I tackle this #100Day Project of facing my fear of writing like the real me?
I will see ya tomorrow!
