Tag: Choosing Courage

Weekly Update – Week 4

Posted on by Mary
Update

Wowsers….I cannot believe that we are at our week 4 update! Day 30 to be exact! It’s the longest blogging streak I have ever had and even though I had a glitch with the blogI still wrote the posts and all I had do was copy and paste them into the post template!

Hello Fears Update

HA! I finally finished reading chapter 3. Things have slowed down quite a bit and I am finally settling into a routine. And I finally feeling like I am accomplishing something!

I will be sharing the journaling parts of this chapter and the rest that I accomplish on Friday this week so stay tuned.

courageous

I want tyou to remember that I have not yet reviewed this book and just because I am blogging my way through this book I have not yet recommended it. I will write my review when I am finished with the book!

If you are interested you can Check out Michelle Poler’s Youtube channel here

Family Update

We are well into the soccer season and we have already had two gamed Child #1 and Child #2 are having a lot of fun learning and improving their skills. We are also into our third week of homeschooling and the kids have done great! Even with some of the extra things we have going on. I have been growing leaps and bounds in so many areas and I got the results f my 1 month iron infusion results back. I’m normal…..WELL…….Nevermind! and hubby, well there are some amazing things happening for our family and we are excited to see where God is leading us.

Blogging Update

I am so excited to share some upcoming ideas with you tomorrow. I have had some aha moments this week specifically in church on Sunday. I am constantly amazed just how much God knows us! I shouldn’t be. But then moments happen like Sunday that leave me sitting staring at the pastor (a friend of ours for over 20 years) with my mouth hanging open. I know he didn’t know what has been on my mind. I mean I didn’t even tell my hubby- they have been just ideas swirling around in my head- I haven’t even uttered them in prayer yet. And wow- now I have answers. Stay tuned tomorrow for those details!

What have I learned by Choosing Courage

Perhaps the biggest thing I have learned this week is a mistake or maybe it’s better described as a trap I have fallen into. That trap was something that came to light on Sunday- but I am not talking about that tomorrow . I am going to share that part of Sunday right now.

When I took on this writing project I made a promise to you my readers and to myself that I was going to be Honest where I am at.

So let me be honest

This aha moments started a few weeks ago when I filled out a questionnaire for Pastor’s wives for a potential pastor position for hubby and one of the questions had to do with devotions and Bible study. Now I am a firm believer that you need to have both but sometimes we get confused… we let ourselves get lost in the process of Bible study……We almost have tunnel vision as we seek out the tiny details. It’s not like the Bible becoming a textbook per see- it’s like playing hide n seek with details. We need to study God’s word and we need to understand it and that is very helpful but it can become less personal.

Our pastor on Sunday reminded the congregation of the challenge he brought to them at the beginning of the year (we didn’t attend that church at the time. So we didn’t hear it. He challenged them to be immersed in as much God’s words possible. And I generally do that but something happened …actually a bunch of things happened…..

I Lost my Passion

I lost my passion because of damaging words…words that assumed they knew my heart….knew me. They assumed they could determine my motive because of what I wrote. Sadly as those words flew from their fingertips and their mouths I built a wall….around my heart. but it wasn’t the people…it was God’s word . Because That is where my passion came from. That is what motivated my writing. And when I stopped soaking in the word, my passion crumbled and my words now felt forced.

That list I have of blog post ideas- they were all born out of reading God’s word but as it sat on those planner pages the passion tricked out of them….and as I have tried to revisit them, I cannot pull back that passion out of them.

So what now?

So last night I talked to my friend who is the beginning of my prayer team and shared with her all the things. And so I know where these posts originated from- mostly the epistles- so everyday I am going to read some of them- immersing myself in God’s word again- fueling my passion. I did it last night before bed. I am reading James. Out of verses 3 blog posts were worked on. 1 already existed (on that post list) and 2 more new ones! And the excitement returned. AND there’s no fear.

Don’t wprry I am not giving up on my Bible study either My friend and I decided that I should focus on the study on the weekends. So Philippians will be in baby steps and let the immersion commence.

Thank you so much for doing me for the week 4 update of my Choosing Courage – 100 day writing project. If you want to check out the rest of the posts here

Happy Homemaker Monday

Posted on by Mary
happy

Wow It’s time for Happy Homemaker Monday again. I totally forgot to post it to the link last week. (oops). And today is day 29 of my Choosing Courage 100 day writing project. I cannot believe we have hit almost a 1/3 of the way through the project. I hope everyone has had a fabulous week!

Breakfast time….what is on the plate this morning::::

I pretty much had coffee for breakfast this morning-

  Looking around the house::::

Some basic chores need to be done. Hubby got a punch of the ditch dug around the front of the house so he can repair some of the foundation of the house. I have been able to catch on a bunch f chores around the house and I have morello go. But I am getting there.

On today’s to do list::::

  • Blogging everyday this week
  • I need to clean the top of our stairs where my sewing cabinet is
  • downsizing my clothes.
  • downsize and re-organize my craft room
  • deep clean kitchen

Currently reading::::

  • Hello Fears
  • Get Out of Your Head
  • My Bible
  • Hudson Taylor (biography with the kids for morning basket)
  • S.H.A.P.E.

On the TV this week::::

nothing really

The weather outside is::::

Mid 70’s. with a few days here and there in the 60’s Very normal for September in upstate NY

On the menu this week::::

Monday – Bbq Chicken, Potato Salad and Corn

Tuesday –   Hamburgs (on the grill) chills and baked beans

Wednesday –   Tater Tot casserole

Thursday –   Loaded Baked potatoes

Friday –  Meatball Subs

Saturday –  Pigs in a Blanket (cabbage rolls)

Sunday – Masjed Potato Sundaes

If I have a few minutes to myself, I will::::

Reading, Exercise, art

New recipe I tried, or want to try this week::::

None

One of my simple pleasures::::

Warm Apple Cider

Favorite photo from the camera::::

Praying for::::

♥♥  Lots of friends and family who either have COVID or knows someone who does. One person in particular is not doing so well but is making strides in the right direction
♥♥ Our Search Process ♥♥Friends and family who are struggling

Bible Verse, Devotional that is resonating with me at the moment:::: 

Hebrews 10:24 NLT

24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.

This verse hit me hard on Sunday during the message on Sunday. To find out why come back on Wednesday! When I’m going to be talking about the role this verse is playing here on my blog!

And for more Happy Homemaker Monday posts Check out Diary of a Stay at Home Mom

Thanks for joining me for My Choosing Courage 100 day writing project.. You can check out all the other posts by clicking here.

Not Exactly as I Planned- A Time to Play

Posted on by Mary
Planned

I had a great plan last week- exercise then art. BUT schedules just didn’t allow for that. The kids have figured the rhythm out for school. I on the other hand have not found my rhythm. And I am still trying to find a healthy balance for everything. So I only exercised once the treadmill this week…but when I was done I didn’t have time to art.

So I took today

When we got home from church I took a couple of hours to do some art. Its not finished some of the cells are 1/2 done. ONE IS IN THE UGLY STAGE for sure- it didn’t go as planned either. I am hoping I can save it but it might be over for it. Actually I am not sure any of them are “finished for sure.

And one cell hasn’t been touched at all.

It’s been a while since I have done some artwork so I was struggling with art block but as I get back into practice this will get better.

The bottom middle picture is something I am trying to learn. Water is difficult and I want to learn how to paint it. It also didn’t turn out as I had planned either

So the plan for next week- I don’t have one…lol Actually I just want to keep working on these. I think I want to break out those new prismacolor colored pencils I mentioned a while ago.

If you are interested in seeing where I started with this last week you can click here.

And thank you for joining me for day 28 of my Choosing Courage a 100 day writing project. To check out the rest of the posts in the project you can click here

How about you…. did your week go as planned? Let me know in the comments below and also what are you working on in your play time?

Remember…..

Posted on by Mary
Remember

I Remember. As I sit here typing this my mind races with many scenes from September 11 2001. 20 years ago today I was 21 years old, living off campus of the Bible College I was a junior at. I didn’t know it at that point my I had already met my future husband. We were just good friends at the time. I was sitting inner college’s student center It hadn’t yet been transformed into the cafe it would later become. I sat in an old restaurant style booth. I was the only one there minus a maintenance guy that was bustling about taking care of his morning duties. I didn’t have a class first thing is the morning . But that was all about to change. this was the place to grab snacks and drinks before chapel…..

All of a sudden the mass entered all a bustle but something was different. There was silence in such a large group of people like I had never witness before…. They made a bee line for the TV- not allowed at this hour. There were some fussing with the cords and the channels, and in not too long we were all staring at the TODAY show in disbelief. What was happening?

It’s about to get worse

When we tuned in it was just after the first place had hit the first tower and within minutes we all stood staring in silence as we watched live the second plane hit the second tower. Surely the first one could have been an accident right? But the second- it was clear it wasn’t an accident. You didn’t want to keep watching but you couldn’t stop either.

At some point we headed to the hall where chapel was held. I remember a brief announcement that classes were cancelled the rest of the day and that we were to spend the day in prayer with each other.

I remember being in a girls dorm room and I remember being with a girl whose family worked in the world trade center and I remember praying that her family members weren’t there that day. I remember we all tried and tried and tried to call our family members but the lines were busy. Never in all of my life had I witnessed the inability to get ahold of my parents.

What I don’t remember from that day

I don’t remember getting up that day- or what I wore. I don’t remember walking back home or going to bed that night. I don’t really remember much of the weeks afterwards either.

But those things didn’t matter. what matters was our friend whose family members worked in the towers didn’t go to work that day. Her alarm never went off What mattered were the people who didn’t make it and the countless emergency workers who poured their hearts and souls into their jobs and sacrificed so much.

As much as all of this impacted our lives, something else happened.

7 months later

As much as all of the pictures on the TV are etched in my brain forever, I have some other memories that are etched even deeper. In April of 2002 our school was cleared to Mae our usual trip to NYC. and hubby was going for the first time (this was my third trip) and this time we were a part of a street miming team. We spent Saturday street performing in parks and then we had dinner (a pizza place near Times Square. We then took a tour on the Staten Island Ferry where we saw the Statue of Liberty and the the Lights for where the towers once stood.

What came next has made a lasting impact n me for my entire life. It shook me to the core. We went to ground zero. The weeping and wailing. The unnatural burning smell coming from the sewers. The signs, flowers and teddy bears that lined Wall Street. People hoping and praying that their loved ones would be found.

I wish I could describe the smell….the smell was probably the most chilling. It was nothing I have ever smelled before. There is only one other smell that has left that kind of last impression on me- and that was when I traveled half way around the world and the pockets of horrid smell throughout the city. And my heart broke then like it did in that far away city.

I have carried those image, sounds and smells with me and now 20 years later- that sounds like so long ago and yet at the same time it seems like just yesterday!

We need to remember these things in life that make lasting impressions. We need to visit them often so we can remember how we got to this point in our lives. We need to remember so we don’t go back there and having history repeat itself. Remember this who have been lost. Remember those who are still struggling with the loss of that day. And remember that people are sick from their service from that day. They live with a constant reminder that they did what they were called to do.

REMEMBER

How about you? What are the memories from 9/11 that stick out the most?

Thanks so much for joining me for day 27 of Choosing Courage 100 day writing project. You can check out the rest of the posts here.

Realistic Expectations when It comes To Devotions

Posted on by Mary
Devotions

My Personal Struggles My Expectations in My Devotions

I am my own worst enemy when it comes to my devotions with Jesus.  I can place really high expectations on myself and when I feel like I cannot meet those expectations I give up.

This doesn’t make me happy. But that is the reality- there are seasons in life that  be met with the same type of expectations.  

This past December I came face to face with this.  After I had my procedure that left me in the worst pain I had ever experienced (even worse that all 4 pregnancies AND a gallbladder attack  COMBINED). I found myself  confined to the couch in  spare room downstairs.   I had all the time in the world. The kids weren’t allowed to really see me because we were keeping me quarantined so I could have surgery later on (That never happened- Long story). 

I couldn’t do anything. I was in such great pain and I had a bunch of pain meds  pumping through my veins so to stay awake for more than an hour at a time was nearly impossible.    And lets not talk about the ability to focus…..I am still fighting to regain some of that 10 months later.

The result

I began to feel guilty that I wasn’t doing enough.  My expectations  haunted me.   The funny thing is that during this time as I did the bare minimum I was growing leaps and bounds.  It was during this time that “what I  Know….” was born. (Y(ou can read that post here) But as I began to grow and make progress even in the middle of a fairly traumatic Christmas another set of voices and expectations started to impact my heart and mind. And guilt began to take root yet again.

Another set of expectations

I began hearing and seeing things about  how  horrible  it was to do devotions out of devotional books during this time. Some of the books I found great comfort in were the Books by Sarah Young- Jesus Calling, Jesus Always, and Jesus Today.   Now I wouldn’t  say that these are a great place to camp for regular devotions BUT sometimes in the middle of the hard times. These Books meet us simply where we are at. And for me I needed that.   

Making others feel Guilty

I cannot tell you the number of times I have said to someone this is a really great book it helped me through……only to get sneered at because it wasn’t “meaty enough”.  I am not saying that these books need to replace God’s word…nope, not for one minute.  We just need to understand where we are at and  that sometimes we need to let go of our expectations we  place on ourselves and we need to  ignore the expectations that others put on us and when we want to put our expectations on other people.

What we need to Remember

  We  need to remember its all about their devotion to God.  It’s not about how much  they do or even about how deep someone else goes.   It’s not my job to judge that.  I need to encourage their devotion to God- And no matter where we are at we should always strive to go deeper but that is a personal between me and God thing.    We shouldn’t stay satisfied with milk we need to eat meat.

When a Kid gets sick

I like to think about it like this….

When a little kid gets sick do you keep feeding them the same food when they were healthy. No you put them on the BRaT diet. (By the Way anyone one with a stomach bug should follow the BRAT diet). It’s simiilar foods that are gentler on the stomach It stands for Bananas, Rice, Applesauce Toast..

And we as Christians sometimes have moments when we are “sick”. Sick in the Body, sick in the heart, sick in the mind. And it is during those times that we need to go back to the simpler forms of devotion to Jesus.

I know that if during a specific season I need to step back and lower my expectations of myself then That is what I will do and that is completely ok….as long as I keep on being devoted…..dedicated to spending time with Jesus.   

So for the month of September I have taken a step back from what I was doing (an in-depth study of Philippians) and I snagged a less involved study book off my book shelf.   I just knew that with starting school and everyone adjusting to crazy new schedules that the in depth study was going to frustrate me and I would end up neglecting it- remember the goal is to stay devoted- To have that daily meeting with Jesus-  It’s ok to take a break and come back to it.  

There is a great sense of freedom when we release ourselves from the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves.   

This is one of the greatest lesson I have learned over the last 8 years and I continue to keep learning it. God wants my devotion NOT by perfection. It has never been about my expectation or your expectations. It’s about a personal relationship with Jesus !

How about you…have you struggled with expectations when it comets your devotions? Share with me in the comments how you overcame this obstacles!

For more Choosing Courage posts click here