As we journey together “let us think of ways to motivate one another in acts of love and good works”(Hebrews 10:24 NLT)

Good morning and let me start by saying OOOOPS! WARNING LIGHTS was supposed to happen on Sunday after we finished The Negative Influence Traits BUT SUNDAY! Someday I will tell You all about Sunday! This last week!!! I was a tad distracted to say the least.

I wanted to communicate that when we get to the end of all of those negative influence traits and if we are seeing them pop up we need to realize they are warning lights of spiritual deficiency in our lives. As my husband I have talked about this, we discussed how we tend to blame and react to other people but what we really need todo is rely on Jesus. To focus on our relationship with Him. We need to work through these struggles with HIM. We CANNOT do this on our own!

We need to trust Him to change us and that starts with our own humility. Setting aside our rights, wants and desires. Recognizing this warning lights and then surrendering them to him is a huge step

The Big question

Do you see ANY warning lights that are blinking – indicating that something is causing you to have a negative influence?

Remember that it’s not about how many of these things you have it only takes one of these traits to creep in and begin to ruin you testimony and your influence.

Thank you so much for Doing melody!

Feel free to check out the links below

Write 31 Days 2018 Influence Posts

Choosing Courage 100 Day Writing Project

Write 31 Days 2021 Link up List. (Scroll to the bottom)

Hello Friends and welcome to the final week of #31days2021 writing challenge. And this week we are going to get PRACTICAL! We have learned what godly (good) influence looks like and we have learned what negative influence looks like. But it doesn’t matter what we know unless we put it into practice!

Influencers

When I hear the word influencer, the very first thing that comes to mind is what we today call a “social media influencer.” Being a blogger I have to spend some time on social media. Of course like all people who use multiple platforms we have our favorites. But there are people on social media who have thousands of followers (or millions) and they reach A LOT of people with their content.

I’m just teeny blog…I don’t have thousands of followers…I don’t even really know if I have 20. What I do know is that I have a few readers that through my journey over the last few months who have told me that my writing has helped them and their families. AND THAT MAKES ME AN INFLUENCER. But long before there was ever a blog…there was a husband, and a church, and a couple of teeny tiny kiddos and ya know what…..I WAS STILL AN INFLUENCER. We are all influencers because we all HAVE people on a daily basis that we influence.

Why I write

I don’t write to influence millions. I write to help that one person that might be struggling. I know I know I hear all the visionaries in the background shouting at me….dream bigger. I have big dreams. My accountability team knows that. BUT my purpose comes first. I am going to work with what I’ve Got to bring glory to God in all that I say and do and to help people grow in their walk with God!

Where you are at with what you have got

Once upon a time (pre-pandemic) I worked with a crisis pregnancy center. I loved it and the women I worked with. And on a few occasions I had the opportunity to share with people about the center. And it always amazed me how women would come up to me afterwards and tell me how great it was that I could do such a thing. It was the idea that “as a pastor’s wife you get that privilege and that I couldn’t ever do such a thing,.”

I’m here to tell you to stop doing that. As a pastor’s wife I don’t have some special gifting to do certain things. Yes I have gifts and abilities but I had them along before I was a pastor’s wife and even if I am never a pastor’s wife again I could still do what I have been gifted in.

It’s all about being willing

You just have to be willing to use what you already have. Often times these women who would act this way have powerful backgrounds , ones that are full of redemption grace and mercy. Many times it takes someone with a similar history who can relate to someone who is currently living a similar story. Someone who can say “Hey I have been there and this is what Jesus did for me!”

Things get in our way

Somewhere along the line we have fallen for the lie that only speakers, bloggers, missionaries or pastors families are equipped to do the “hard stuff”. (That’s what I have been told by people). God equips those he calls, So many people are called but they refuse to be equipped. Because they either think they don’t need to be equipped (arrogance)), they buy into a lie that they can’t be equipped, or they just don’t want to be equipped.

God wants to use your story- you are the only person who can share it the way he wants you to. He has given you a story, gifts, abilities and passion. You have to be willing to use it for his glory or it goes to waste. He wants to take those hard things in your life and turn them into something beautiful. And trust me there is nothing more beautiful than when he takes your broken places and uses them to radically transform someone else life!

The ONLY thing standing in your way of doing that is a willingness to let God use this broken places AND a willingness to learn from other people!

There is only two questions left to ask…..

ARE YOU WILLING to use what he has already given you? Then if the answer is yes- What is standing in your way?

I would love to chat with you in the comments about how God is working in Your heart on this subject! You can also email me!

Thanks for joining me today! I so love getting to know each one of you.

If you are new here WELCOME! I would love for you to introduce yourself in the comments and feel free to check out the links below!

Write 31 Days 2018 Influence Posts

Choosing Courage 100 Day Writing Project

Write 31 Days 2021 Link up List. (Scroll to the bottom)

Hi Friends! So today we are going to finish up part 2 of my “silence ” set of posts. Originally it was not supposed to be a 2 part series but because of the nature of my week it ended up needing to be.

What happened-

Late last week I was contact by the Gastro doctor’s office to let me know there was a cancellation so my appointment in December could be moved forward to the 22nd of this month (aka Friday). Well I had no idea just what was in store …I mean I kinda did- but things changed, So I wasn’t prepared ahead of time for having a post prepped ahead for Friday.

Since being back on gluten for these tests I have been battling some serious brain fog and a serious lack in energy. Along with feeling generally icky.

All of this needed to be done in order to test for celiacs and another issue in relation to understanding why my iron is so low.

I had no idea that when I came out of the procedure that I would be told I shouldn’t post anything to the internet. I thought surely I will go home sleep off more of the anesthesia and be fine….HA NOPE! I woke up from however long I was asleep. I knew I was supposed to write about self-control…..Nothing -my brain was mush. I glanced through my list of topics and I knew that the silence post would be fitting.

I knew that choosing silence instead of forcing a post that I am pretty sure wouldn’t make any sense was the wisest choice. That post was super short but mentally was a very straining post to write. I got to the end of it. I attempted to proofread it and the words were all fuzzy and running together so I asked my hubby to proofread it for me.

What could have been a negative influence

Apparently it was a very wise idea to have him do that. There were some autocorrections that were definitely outside of my character. I made a choice to make a small post because I wanted to keep in the 100 day challenge and the write 31 days challenge. In someways it is good that I still chose to write but if I didn’t have hubby here to help me it would have been so much better to choose silence even for a mini post.

Why because that one little post could have hurt my influence. Even though no one really knew my circumstances, that doesn’t excuse a poor choice.

A Time to…

the Bible tells us that there is a time is a time to be quiet and a time to speak. (Eccl. 3:7) There have been times over the last 6 months when we have chosen complete silence, because we asked ourselves this question….

Does what we have to say build up or tear down?

Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)

²⁹ Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Matthew 12:36 (NLT)

³⁶ And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak.

Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)

The tongue can bring death or life;
    those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

¹¹ So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

Romans 14:19 (NLT)

¹⁹ So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.

And I could keep going! Studying ones speech in Scripture is very interesting. And there have been times I have gotten it all wrong. I have kept silent when I should have spoken up and I should have kept quiet when I said too much. But sometimes we just need to revert back to that phrase that our moms taught us and that we taught our children ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

But Keeping silent isn’t always the best option

That doesn’t mean that sometimes we won’t have to ask the hard questions and keep someone accountable, specifically if they have asked us to- always choose kindness over harshness…ALWAYS. But other times our greatest influence that we can have is silence.

Choosing to be present. Choosing to show up. It’s amazing who has shown up for me in the last 10 months and who hasn’t. I know life happens and I know that everybody has their own stuff and I’m not mad but just as much as silence is sometimes our best option it can also be the worst.

Silence can be our greatest influence and it can be our worst. Knowing when and where to be silent is an art form. One I am still learning- one I fail at regularly.

Wisdom builds understanding

As much as we want to rely on our instincts in these situations we need an ongoing relationship with Jesus ad to be praying for wisdom in what to say and how to build others up. Is it about our presence or is it about encouraging someone with words.

A Challenge

I want us to be challenged going into this week to choose to build someone up. To choose presence and encouragement over critical assumptions and words. Not to wait for someone to reach out to us but to reach out to the other person first.

Sometimes we just need to be there and I am so glad you are here. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to stop by my little piece of the internet!

Feel free to poke around. I have a little bit of everything here and I want you to know that this is a place where I want you to grow in your walk with Jesus!

If you are new here check out these links below and introduce Yourself in the comments. I can’t wait to connect with you!

Write 31 Days 2018 Influence Posts

Choosing Courage 100 Day Writing Project

Write 31 Days 2021 Link up List. (Scroll to the bottom)

Hello my sweet friends! Thank you for joining me today for the last of the negative influence traits- Undisciplined. If you remember back to our ninth positive influence trait we talked about being self-controlled. We talked about how it’s not about trying harder or doing better but about being controlled by God.

Well today we are going to talk about being uncontrolled- or undisciplined.

What is the best way to be controlled by God?

Well by building your relationship with him. Building the spiritual discipline of prayer, devotions and bible study are a great start but you can do all of those things and not practice the discipline of complete surrender you will not be controlled by God.(The Holy Spirit)

When we are uncontrolled (or undisciplined)….

We do whatever we jolly well please. We have no purpose we are pursuing and we run around doing “important-ish” things. Yeah they might be kinda important but they aren’t the most important. We have no rhyme or reason for our days and by the end of them we sit back and wonder where on earth did I go wrong. I didn’t get anything really important done.

Many times it’s all about what I want to get done. Yes it is way more fun to organize the craft room than fill out that important paperwork. Yes it might be way more thrilling to read that book than do my devotions…..and the list goes on and on.

Our lives are fulll and yes we might get away with a day or two or seven with neglecting those essential disciplines and playing “hooky” on life but it will catch up with us I promise.

Our homes become a disaster…..our attitudes become rude, harsh and impatient. We hurt people who care about us , because we have been so “me” focused. Sure we can fake it for a while but….

You cannot give what you do not have.

I cannot give the spiritual help to my family and friends if I am not firmly rooted in God’s word. It just cannot happen. You cannot give away a million dollars if you don’t first have a million dollars. You cannot share peace if you don’t have peace.

And if we don’t put these traits into practice in our everyday lives when big things come…as in trauma and discouragement we cannot pull from our reserves of what we have learned. It’s a big circle…when I practice Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness we are self-controlled. and when we are self-controlled those traits listed about are how we are self-controlled. These are things that we are expected to practice every day.

Sorry we don’t get a pass.

Just because my personality isn’t very patient, it doesn’t mean I get to just say well God didn’t create me to be a patient person so therefore I don’t have to be patient.

Have you ever met a baby?

I have never met a patient baby. All baby’s are born with one focus…..Themselves. They cry when they are hungry, thirsty, have a dirty diaper, in pain, too hot, too cold, too tired and bored. But as parents we try to teach our babies as they grow into dodders the discipline of patience. Generally we fail. (or at least so we think).

And then we tackle it again when they are school-aged… sometimes every hour depending on what stage they are in.

Then they hit their teen years and it is a whole new level of patience

Oh and then they hit young adulthood and it seems like everything requires patience AND THEN this magical thing happens, an impatient young wife and impatient young husband give birth to perfectly impatient baby and the parents learn a whole new level of patience (The reality is NO ONE EVER FULLY ARRIVES).

The Life Cycle is the same.

One of the greatest things I have ever learned was the problems in parenting are always the same the situations just change and get bigger. Isn’t that the truth.

At 41 I am still learning and building the disciplines and traits of Galatians 5:22-23. I am still teaching them to my kids.

The circumstances get harder and sometimes scarier but if we keep building the foundations of these disciplines then they/we have the groundwork to keep growing in them.

BUT….

If we choose to not build those foundations for ourselves and our children, they and we will not be able to handle the bigger stuff as they get older. As life trials fly at us or those people who are harder to love come into our lives we will be unable to live as Christ did.

I reel at the thought of just how much self-control Jesus had…..I mean God is man’s flesh stood being falsely accused in an illegal trial, found guilty and sentenced to die one of the most cruel deaths ever dreamed up…..and he never said one word to defend himself. He could have struck them all dead. To quote the old song, He could have called Ten Thousand angels…..BUT he didn’t. Because he knew his purpose. He knew what had to happen.

When we choose to live a life of purpose…..

We choose discipline. We don’t lose sight of what is most important. We know God has a plan for us to be the hands and feel of Jesus to those around us. And because of that we choose discipline. We know that undisciplined, uncontrolled lives will leave us negatively influencing those around us.

Now it’s Your Turn.

What needs to change to make you more controlled by the Holy Spirit? Is it living a surrendered life? Is it committing to be devoted to God in Bible reading,Bible study or prayer? Maybe it’s an ongoing accountability with a friend who will help keep your attitude it check?

Whatever it is I challenge you to give it to God and work with Him through the challenges as you let him change your negative influence into a Godly influence.

Thank you again for doing me today! Check out these links below to catch up or if you are just beginning!

Write 31 Days 2018 Influence Posts

Choosing Courage 100 Day Writing Project

Write 31 Days 2021 Link up List. (Scroll to the bottom)