Struggles, we all have them. I listed 7 common ones in the image above but let’s be honest we have a whole lot more struggles than those 7 listed. But these 7 we have all dealt with at some point or another or at least most of them.
Struggles- Why can’t we be gracious?
As a pastor’s wife I have seen what struggles can do to people AND what people can do to those who have struggles. It’s easy to sit back and pass judgement on people for the struggles they are facing. There can be any number of reason’s we face struggles And we aren’t going to delve into them. Maybe that’s a post for a later date or maybe not.
If we all have struggles then why do we feel the need to pass judgement for those who share their struggles with us? I think the first one is PRIDE- We think we are better because we can “handle it” better than someone else. We make it is spiritual gift to be able to handle struggles on our own. (AHEM- just an FYI IT isn’t one). I think the #2 reason is we are afraid of being judged for sharing our struggles and I think the third reason plays into the second- we are so insecure about our struggles that we have to pick on people with more visible struggles that our own.
Lat’s put and end to the Masquerade
Casting Crowns has a great song about this very subject it’s called Stained Glass Masquerade.
[Verse 1]
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today
Feeling so small
Because when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong
So I tuck it all away, like every thing’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them[Chorus]
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain?
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade[Verse 2]
Is there anyone who’s been there?
Are there any hands to raise?
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage?
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be?
Would your arms be open?
Or would you walk away?
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay?[Chorus]
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain?
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade[Chorus]
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain?
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade[Outro]
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today
Feeling so small
“With walls around our weakness, And smiles to hide our pain?”
It’s easy when people smile. It makes us feel good. But when people don’t smile we begin to feel uneasy…it makes us uncomfortable. I can’t tell you the number of times I have hugged people in tears on any given Sunday morning because of whatever was going on in their lives at the time. You name it it was cried over…and on those same Sunday’s I have heard or been told “You just need to smile. ”
I’m sorry but no. You can have the joy of Jesus and be broken all at the same time. We as Christians do not need to live a lie. We can AND should share our broken places and grieve them openly. BUT we should not stay there. It may take weeks or months because there are many stages of grief and pain we need to work through. And THAT takes some time.
Our Struggles are our Struggles but they are not our identity.
We are victors not victims. Yes we need to be open about our struggles. BUT they aren’t our identity. Over the next few weeks I will be sharing my journey in learning all about my identity in Christ. This journey has taken my entire life and will continue until the day I die. I have in no way arrived in my full understanding of my identity in Christ. I am learning something new every single day.
Story time
A while back a friend was really struggling with something. This friend posted about it on facebook and I saw a mutual friend write back a snarky reply. It was inappropriate and hurtful or at least I hurt for my friend because I had been walking this journey with this friend for a long time.
Fast forward some months later I found myself dealing with a very similar (not the same just similar ) problem as my friend. I was having sleepless nights due to some pretty sever anxiety. I had only ever experienced anxiety one other time in my life as a young mom when I was given a medication and that is the side effect it had on me. Fast forward 10 years later and I had just gone through some major medical Trauma.
I lay in bed at night every night for weeks heart beating out of my chest…..Head spinning in dizziness, mind going full tilt in all directions and all I could hear echo in my ears- that’s friends rude question on facebook. Their influence, negative as it was , was wreaking havoc on my mental state. I could hear their accusing tone……that snide comment tore right through my heart and guilt set in. I wasn’t well.
The reality of my anxiety
The comment? ” What are you holding onto? ” Now I understand that you would have to know the person who made the statement but the truth its that person is very harsh….and even though I hadn’t heard the person say it I had heard that person a dozen times before ask similar questions in condescending tones.
The reality is I wasn’t holding onto to anything. The reality was I was sick and we didn’t even realize just how sick I was. Part of anxiety is that you basically convince yourself you are dying- my heart was racing super fast and I was short of breath…and the list goes on and on.
My reality was Anemia and Iron deficiency. Which causes high heart rates. It causes shortness of breath. It causes Anxiety. In December I had NO detectable iron levels in my blood. Yep you read that right ! N.O.N.E.
There wasn’t any amount of letting go- bible study or prayer that could chase the anxiety away. I know, I tried. I begged .I pleaded. I repented and forgave And yet the anxiety persisted and the guilt grew.
We need to stop being “happy plastic people Under shiny plastic steeples”
We need to stop trying to fix people to make them look the part. We aren’t God. God wants us to love people in the middle of their messes. He will take care of the rest. And we need to realize that the only way people are going to heal- not be fixed is through Jesus! Shiny plastic people don’t have scars- Christ followers do- Jesus does. Jesus in all of his perfectness still has scars in heaven. Jesus isn’t a shiny plastic person, why should we be. In His darkest hour he asked for his friends (the disciples) to keep watch and pray with Him- He was left alone- they slept!
Let’s stop trying to be something that we aren’t and be who we were created to be How about we take the masks off and share the real us with the rest of the world so they can see that even in the midst of our deepest grief and sorrow that we trust Jesus with the mess. It’s easy to trust Jesus when life is easy peasy. It gets real when we trust Him with the hard stuff.
Let’s Check our influence
Let’s be honest that friend never thought that their words would impact anyone else but our friend writing the post but the reality is this: That one person made a negative impact on every person who read their comment. Because Satan uses those negative people to harm others even though they didn’t know another soul in that comment thread. . It’s a ripple effect I. have been teaching for years! One little pebble can send a ripple through the whole pond. And one little question can ripple through the hearts of those nearby.
If you are struggling please know that you are NOT alone. And if someone has told you that they have never had a struggle they are being untruthful. They aren’t being real with you! No one’s perfect we shouldn’t pretend to be and we shouldn’t expect others to put on a smile to make us more comfortable
Share with me your thoughts in the comments below and know that you, my friends are being prayed for!
This is post #18 in my Choosing Courage 100 Day Writing Project. to catch up on the rest click here
