Notice how In that title of true confession I didn’t say VOICES…but then again sometimes the noises in my head sound a whole lot like voices…..the voices of my children, my hubby , the clients at the pregnancy center, my friends, my family, the newscast anchorman, advertisements, authors, teachers, pastors (oh wait that is my hubby) and let’s add my voice in there too. My voice that reminds me of that mile long to-do list, the needing to find such and such that has been missing for 3 weeks, books to read, notes to send, kids to feed….and the list goes on and on and on. and lets be honest MY VOICE tends to show up at 10:05 as I lay my head down to sleep, or at 4:30(Wednesday and Thursday mornings) OR like last Friday morning 3:30.It really never ends. Just as we scratch one thing off, another three jump onto the page. We keep moving.
Well I’m writing aren’t you impressed. It has been quite a while. Do you want to know how I can write?
- I’m not home
- I have no kids with me..only Rosie Our chocolate labradoodle. She doesn’t say a word…unless I leave her to go to the service, then she makes a most pitiful sound comes out of her body. She really isn’t used to the camper yet.
- I’m an introvert, so I have avoided human connection as much as possible and can count on one hand the amount of times I have been on social media in the last 36 hours.
The funny thing is, this is my second year taking this respite time away. My husband has made me. Last year was HARD. This year not so much. When hubby left early yesterday morning with our two youngest, I stood in the camper, stunned by the silence. Not just the external silence but the internal silence as well. THERE WERE NO NOISES. What is this strange phenomenon???
Last year I found myself putting out fires and I was on a rigorous posting schedule for a conference I was working on the team of. This year there is nothing…NOT ONE THING nagging at me to get done. Well except for my reading list.
There is one more voice though…..it is small and quiet and even though it is such, it tugs at my heart far greater that all the others combined and sadly enough because it is not “dire” enough it can often get pushed off until “LATER”.
Well as I worked towards coming to camp I ran through my list of books I haven’t gotten to yet in my years goals and I decided I would pick one from each month. I ended up with 5 books
- Fervent
- Praying Circles Around Your Children
- The Best Yes
- Held
- Praying God’s Word
I loaded them all into my bag and sat them next to my desk to leave 5 days later. When I got to camp yesterday, I sat down and gave the Lord my week. I offered him my plan A and His will for the week. I want to learn everything I can. Yesterday afternoon, I sat down with my book break downs, you know how many chapters I have to read in each if I want to get them done before I get home and the books themselves. HMMMM, I see a pattern, a theme if you will. Three out of the 5 books had to do with Prayer. BINGO the light came on. I have been talking to God for the last few years about how to master this crazy busy life and a mounting prayer list, that frankly is overwhelming, but wait my story doesn’t end there. Last night at the service the book store ladies talked about “the Battle Plan for Prayer” by the Kendrick Brothers, I had heard Ms Ann talk about this book the last time we were here but the noise of all I had to do was too great. So last night I purchased the book and by this morning, I decided to kick the two that were not based on prayer to the curb….until I’m home next week. BUT WAIT, while sitting in the service this morning, the pastor who is speaking this week was talking about Habakkuk. (Now just an aside this is the THIRD time in 6 months I have read or heard messages on Habakkuk..OK LORD YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION) and we were in Habakkuk 2:1-5. Habakkuk was in the watchtower. He went there to pray, to get away. The noise of all the nonsense from God’s people was getting out of hand….the noise was too great for Habakkuk. So Habakkuk got away and got above the noise. He stayed there and waited until he heard from God.
WOW WOW WOW!!
And here alone, away from all my NOISE, I sit, I listen, I pray, I ponder. and I am being Taught….
taught to listen, taught to pray, taught to pay attention and yield to that still small voice that beckons me to “come all you who labor and are Heavy laden, and I WILL give you rest!” Matthew 11:28
So you will hear from me more this week. I will hopefully be sharing more of what I learn from my now four book reading list all centered on Prayer. There are also some things I have been thinking about in general. Things that have challenged me, things I have let go of. things that have freed me of some of those extra noises (like weeds growing, plants needing to be harvested) and a new way to look at my to-do list and Goals.
So what noises call you? And when do those noises tend to show up? So until Next time…
Mary
