Category: Uncategorized

Resilience has been on my mind a lot lately. For many reasons but I have this constant reminder every time I open the front door of our home…

This poor petunia has been through a war this spring/summer/fall. And she looks like it too.She was a gift as we left our church. I was so excited to hang her on the door by our front door. And then a wind storm came ad knocked her down.

I heard this large crash. I went outside and found her laying on the ground. I sat her on the table after checking for damage. Nothing was wrong with her. A few days later I hung her back up. Only to wake up one morning to find her laying on the ground again (apparently we had some wind during the night. This time her pot had cracked so she took up permanent residence on the table.

Summer came

And so did the rain. It has been the wettest summer on record for a LOOOONG time. I would wake up in the middle of the night to pounding rain and wonder if the plant was ok. I would walk outside the next morning and the flowers would be drooping from all the water. But by late afternoon the scorching sun would dry things up. I did’t have to water this plant at all except for one week By mid-summer her leaves were dry and crispy. Her soil was still damp and she had loads of blooms so I kept taking care of her.

Then in September I noticed she no longer had any blooms or buds. Everyday I kept saying one more day. Finally the day I had planned to dump her our in the woods came and I went outside only to discover 3 baby flower buds pooping from its sparsley leaved plant.

And since that day every time I walk outside I see this spindly looking pathetic plant with gorgeous magenta petunia flowers smiling back at me

November

I took this picture on November 1st. Since that day she has been hit with frost twice and as of this morning she has 9—NINE flowers/buds. Yes she looks silly. Yes she looks like she has been through a war. The scars are evident but you can tell she is resilient- She is a very strong and determined plant. I know that at some point she will die. She is not a plant that lives all year long but I am still going to enjoy every moment I see her because she represents so much to me.

Two more plants

I have two more plants that have proven to be resilient. An aloe plant that was given to our oldest son by his Science teacher two years ago. I struggled with that plant. For whatever reason the way it grew the Aloe plants roots just didn’t want to stay buried. NA d it was all the time flopping over and it would fall out of it pot. The silly thing almost dies a number of times.

Then one day I had a brilliant idea….I replanted the silly thing for like the third or fourth time and I rotated the pot and moved it to the other side of the window sill to it could lean up against the window frame. By doing this it trained the aloe to grow in a different direction.

I can now move the plant and it is stable. it doesn’t;’t flop over and fall out of its pot.

The Christmas Cactus.

This plant I have only seen at other people’s houses or in pictures on social media. I took the plant to my craft room after it was gifted to me last December as a gift when I was in and out of the hospital. Given the last 11 months I haven’t spent very much time in my craft room at all and well I just plain forgot to water her sometimes.

Actually for weeks at a time- I mean it’s a cactus RIGHT? Honestly I just haven’t had time to be in my craft room so I forgot about her and from time to time I would remember her. She would look a little witty and pathetic but she would spring back to life.

One one such occasion I walked in to find a very witty cactus BUT she has new growth in her Leaves (what are they are they leaves?). Anyway she had new ones. I watered her put her back on my windowsill and left again-to be forgotten for 2 months.

Then something magical happened

I remembered lat week my poor Christmas cactus. I was almost sure she was going to be dead. It was the longest I had forgotten about her. I went in AND SHE WAS LOADED with buds….no joke and she wasn’t witty at all. Matter of fact her soil was still damp- Im not sure how that happened but it did.

I have since moved her downstairs to the kitchen where I am checking on her everyday watching the buds get bigger and bigger

I marvel at these plants

Each of these plants have different circumstances and struggles. They each have a different background and they each have fought their own battles to survive. They all are resilient. They are strong and have bounced back from their battles

Tthat made me think of my own resilience and the resilience of those around me

We all have our own junk. Personal battles and struggles that have worn us down.

Some of us resemble the Petunia with all sorts of battle scars all over us. But the cool thing is our resilience is seen not in the beautiful lush greenery but in the magenta flowers that just keep coming. Despite being battered by wind and pouring rain and having our pot cracked from two traumatic falls we still have joy- we keep hoping when it’s hopeless (Grace Got You MercMe).

Some of resemble the Aloe Plant- we keep leaning into the things that make us more comfortable. And just when we think we are good we tumble out of the pot, roots exposed and heart broken.

And some of us are like the Christmas cactus. We have been neglected and ignored and forgotten. And despite all of those things we remember where our hope is. It’s not in our friends, family, kids or spouse. All of this people will let us down BUT when we stay focused on Jesus (Our Creator) we never lose hope.

Our resilience is a Choice.

I have heard people say that resilience is something you are born with. I disagree. We have t learn to be Strong and Courageous. Hmmmm sounds like a verse right? It is. It’s Joshua 1:9. As believers we put it on our walls and on jewelry in hopes that it will magically jump off the wall and make us do those two things.

But we ignore the first part of the verse “I command you…to be strong ad Courageous”. It isn’t about praying and asking for strength and Courage and waking up one morning and BAM you have all the courage and strength you need.

You need to exercise and stretch those muscles of strength and courage. Joshua need to stretch his courage and strength. He didn’t just wake up one day and was full of courage and strength. he had to endure hard things. Going into lands full of giants and armies bigger than his,

He didn’t wallow in the same fear that kept the others from giving an accurate depiction of what the promised land was like. It took great courage to go against the other spies in the group.

Taking a lesson from Joshua

Joshua didn’t have things easy. He faced all sorts of battles and was even left wandering in the wilderness for 40 years despite his being courageous. But he and Caleb were rewarded for their strength and courageous.

But Joshua wasn’t the only resilient one mentioned in the Bible- There is Peter Paul, Ruth, Mary the mother of Jesus, Mary Magdalene, Jesus,, Hannah, Adam and Eve. Daniel and I could go on and on. Each one of these people were willing to say Even if…I still will. They Chose Courage and Strength- they chose resilience.

How?

By choosing to keep their eyes on God and following his ways. See sometimes we put our trust in people or things, churches or other ministries and we lose sight of what our purpose is and who we belong to. We find it easier to wallow in our pain and fears, instead of taking them to Jesus.

It’s an active choice to rely In God. When we let the lies of satan in creep in and we start to convince ourselves we can’t trust God it’s inactive choice as well.

We need to be very aware as to what choices we are making- whether it is in our hearts or minds, in speech or in action.

Thanks for Joining me today.

Check out the rest of my Choosing Courage posts here

Have you ever heard the saying “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care”?

It was something I learned when I began working at the Crisis pregnancy center. I already “knew it” but I had never heard the saying before. It was our goal to show the women we ministered to just how much we cared for and loved them. It’s why they brought their friends and family back to us when they needed help. They knew it was a safe place.They knew they were loved.

We all know people….

I think we all know people who we meet for the very first time and they feel the need to rattle off all the things they know. Sometimes it is our nerves getting the better of us. However for some people it is a matter of arrogance.

They just think that they have all the answers, they see a problem in your life and it is their job to tell you how to fix it. These people will rattle off Bible verses and quotes from books and radio speakers. They assume that every issue is cookie cutter and they have the answers for YOU!

A Couple of Examples

So let’s say person A witnesses you have a struggle of wills with your child. The child is young and you are firm but consistent and you follow through. You did a fabulous job. Yes the child cried and tried to get their way, but in the end you didn’t cave to the whining. Person A is older and view themselves as much wiser. And they think that they saw some flaws.

So they tell you how you could have handled things differently. They don’t try to understand the circumstances and don’t care to realize that this was a simple battle of the wills. Sometimes people think that the goal of parentling is to never have a child that whines, cries or throws a tempter tantrum. Here’s the thing. How else can we know what our children hearts need? These are warning signals that there is a deeper issue that needs to be worked on (Ahem Negative influence traits- and yesterdays blog post).

Now a few weeks later person A is lamenting about the state their adult child’s life is in. How they are feeding off their parents and can’t seem to live life for themselves. So you ask questions and what emerges you see is an enabling of this behavior. So this person may have a lot of head knowledge but they A) can’t seem to apply what they told you to their own lives . B) They didn’t take the time to get to know your circumstances before passing judgement on them. They don’t want to be told what they are doing is wrong. They just want someone to care.

Their walk doesn’t match their talk.

Let me introduce Person B-

Person B in this situation is a person who has NEVER had a child but has all the answers (actually what they have is a bunch of ideals). They even MIGHT have some verse (usually taken out of context) to hurl at you. I have found that these people are usually teenagers, young adults and elderly people. They have a whole bunch of knowledge or so they think. And they aren’t afraid to let you know how you are doing it wrong.

What they know is what they think is most important.

Now being a parent of 4 very different children has helped me to toss out my ideals. Yes we all have them. They all sound like “My child will NEVER do that”. I will Never let MY kid do that”. (now there are biblical standards we need to uphold- I’m not talking compromising on those).

Let’s use a fun example here – TV

One of the big ones I had was “the TV will never babysit my child”.

Ok great there is great premise here. Until you are very pregnant with child #4 (or super sick) and you can’t move because of excruciating pain in your lower back. Your hubby is on a trip helping someone. Your job is to keep 3 other small children alive in the process. (Guilty as CHARGED) and ya know what my kids are great! Yes I had friends who judged me. They let me know their ideals and how I was failing in their minds. Ya know what would have been encouraging? Some sympathy, some grace and some understanding.

Knowing all the “right” answers isn’t always the best.

A child that changed everything

So ok I have these first two kids and we have worked through a lot (Child #1 was nickname Tornado for a reason). But nothing could prepare me for lay ahead with child #3. Child #3 has autism. I have shared this before. As much as my ideals were let go of with the first two kiddos, there were still things I held onto.

Then along came the little boy who changed everything. He taught our family to love differently. It took a lot for us to learn how to help him. And then all of a sudden out of the woodwork came all the advice.

• He will grow out of it.
• He seems completely fine.
• You shouldn’t have him diagnosed
• It’s a life sentence.

The funny thing is we learned a lot more from the little boy with big struggles than from those who tried to “encourage”. As much as he has grown and changed, he still has some struggles. BUT his influence changed a lot of people. Those people who gave unsolicited advice now marvel at him. They no longer say he will “grow out of it”. They now see this amazing kid who is loving and gifted. The no longer say getting him diagnosed was a life sentence, they see how much getting him diagnosed has helped him.

What cam from this experience.

We have a lot of personal experience with special needs. And so when I began working at the pregnancy center I was assigned people to mentor who had kids with special needs. I could have rattled off all that I knew and all I had experienced but I knew that this wasn’t going to be effective.

Instead I asked lots of questions and listened to their hearts. (I tried to treat others how I wanted to be treated) What were their deepest struggles. I asked them what they needed from me and how could I best help them.

Once they knew that I really cared I now had the opportunity to share what I knew and had experienced.

Don’t be that person

This is just one simple example. we can all think of a bunch of other examples of this. I want to continue t have that kind of influence. I don’t want to be that person who thinks they know how to fix every problem. I want to be that person whois going encourage and lift up.

But sometimes I have failed, we all have.. And when that happens we need to be humble and admit we have fallen short. That we have let people down and apologize.

Thanks so much!

Thank you for joining me today as we wrap up this journey as we learn all about The Power of Our Influence.

Feel free to check out the links below if you have missed out on any of this journey.

Write 31 Days 2018 Influence Posts

Choosing Courage 100 Day Writing Project

Write 31 Days 2021 Link up List. (Scroll to the bottom)

Happy Monday Everyone! Whew it’s been a week and I am so glad to be back with you all. (Let’s hope I can actually remember to link up this week- I have forgotten the last two MONDAYS!!!)

Breakfast time….what is on the plate this morning::::

Coffee (as Usual) and yogurt with Granola

Looking around the house::::

We goto some major stuff done this past week and now we are swinging into maintenance mode

On today’s to do list::::

• Week 2 of my 6 week sprint- so declutter and downsize more kitchen cabinets and apartment closet
• LOT’s of blogging
• catching up on some Bible Study stuff

Currently reading::::

• Get out Of Your Head
• Bible
• Hello Fears
• Practical Dreamer
• 365 Ways to save time
• Corrie ten Book biography with the kids

On the TV this week::::

Nothing really

On the menu this week::::

Monday – Cheesy Chicken Tater Tot Casserole
Tuesday –  Pizza Party (just us and the kids)
Wednesday – Soup- Veggie (no meat
Thursday –  Food on the go for the kids (Hubby and I need to take something to bible study)
Friday –  Tacos
Saturday – Hamburgers and French Fries
Sunday –  Lemon Pepper Chicken and Potatoes in the Crockpot

If I have a few minutes to myself, I will::::

Do some reading , and enjoy the outdoors

New recipe I tried, or want to try this week::::

Cheesy chicken tater tot casserole

One of my simple pleasures::::

Creating- of all sorts. Specifically writing and in my craft room

 Something fun to share::::

 Favorite photo from the camera::::

Praying for::::

♥♥  A friend and her baby in the hospital ♥♥  friends and family going through struggles
♥♥   the kids playing soccer- safety and good attitudes  ♥♥ school   ♥♥  travel
♥♥   Decisions on churches

For more Happy Homemaker Monday posts Check out Diary of a Stay at Home Mom

Thanks for joining me for My Choosing Courage 100 day writing project.. You can check out all the other posts by clicking here.