There are times in my life where God asks me to give just a tad more than I think I have! The last two months God has required me to rely on him far more than usual. It’s those times of just finishing one project, just in time to jump into another.
And I wonder how am I ever get everything all done on time?
God knows me all too well! That’s why he has given me the hubby he did. A hubby who like Me, spends every bit of himself for ministry and family. And yet my husbands watchful eye and wise mind knows when to jump in and say, “Mary you have done more than enough!”
That’s why He has placed numerous ladies in my life who aren’t afraid to say, “Mary, you are doing too much, that’s not important. “. Not that I am wasting my time on unimportant things but that I am trying to do too much!
And yet there are times when I need to do all that is laid before me. I need to make a gazillion phone calls, fill out half a forrest worth of paperwork, cook enough food to feed an army. Ok so that is all one big exaggeration but when you look at our schedules it can begin to feel like that very fast!
I need to remember to rely on God…not just in the big things but all the little things. Despite what I sometimes think…God does not want me to go crazy. It’s me who drives myself there!
So yeah I’m exhausted, but because my focus is on God and His purpose I’m excited to push forward
God knows me better than I know myself! There are somethings that I have hid deep in my heart. Things I don’t verbalize even in those all by myself moments.
For instance:
1. I know some people who have a list of wants for a husband/wife. These lists can range from silly little things like they must have purple eyes and green hair (come on give me credit….i’m not talking anyone specific and if that happens to be you i seriously had no clue!) to the deep like making sure they have no criminal record (lol again being a vague as possible) but for me I had a list on the deep side! Of course I had preference BUT. I never verbalized them….i never prayed for them. And yet God knew. I love Red hair. No joke! I had a foster brother with red hair. I had multiple friends with red hair. …..i met and married a guy with red hair!
2. Again a list of wants…buying a house….i have always and forever wanted a house with deep window sill to have plants on. But never really verbalized that. No even to my red-headed wood-working husband! But when we bought our home a year ago after we moved in I realized my unspoken want had been met! God knew!
3. Colors. I’m not holding in the fact that my favorite color is green. I would tease my red headed wood-working husband who hates light green on cars that if I could choose a car it would be a light metallic green! To which he would reply….i would never buy a car that color. Well wouldn’t you know that four and a half years ago we were looking for a car that got great gas milage, was within a certain, price range and could fit our family with room to grow! I have never had a license and I never will, trust me you don’t want me to either! And I can say yes I like it or no I don’t but I nearly fell off my parents couch as hubby described his first choice in a car. i remember asking ” but the color, you hate it!” And He responded yes but the price is better than anything else we’ve seen, there’s very low mileage, and we can eventually add a third row of seats. SOLD! And I giggle!
These are some little things. I mean really…hair color, deep window sills and car color. There is a reason I don’t put them on a list for everyone to know…it’s because they are shallow! Would I have still married my husband if he didn’t have red hair…of course! Would we have still bought our house if it didn’t have deep window sills…you bet! And would we have bought our car if it wasn’t light metallic green…most certainly! None of these things are or were deal breakers. But they are still significant! WHY? Well because of this…..
God wants us to realize:
1. He loves us so much
2. God knows every little thing about us.
In VBS this week we have been talking about God Sightings. Things that God is doing in and around us. God wants us to know He is near and that He cares for us so deeply. So much so that He takes those little things hidden deep in our hearts, things that no one else knows. Things we keep under lock and key.
So what hidden things has God made himself known to you through? Things you have kept locked away in the deep recesses of your heart!
Share them with someone! It’s really cool to hear other’s God Sightings aswell!
I LOVE BEING A PASTOR’S WIFE…..most of the time. I love working with people! Am i always good at it? No not hardly! Sometimes I make mistakes…sometimes I say stupid things.. But despite all of that I know God loves me no matter what.
I didn’t always want to be a pastor’s wife though. I had other passions.
Foreign missions was huge. I answered the call to full time ministry at 16. At that point I had my sights set on Germany. 3 years of the language in high school and German lineage! But at 19 i said yes to somewhere else. And for sox weeks after graduating high school a month prior i ministered within the 10-40 window. An area of our world closed to evangelism. No parents, no friends. I embarked on a journey that would change my entire life. Saying yes to God will do that!. At the end of that trip, holding back tears, I spoke into a camera sharing my love and wanting to return, but now looking back my sadness was not necessarily about leaving butI think I knew in my heart i would never return. (I’m not saying God can’t make it happen but there are things in life we just have an understanding about things.)
so I came home,sad.
Ten days later i was moving my stuff into the girls dorm of the Bible College I would spend the next four years at. I changed my concentration twice in the time. I started in the ESL program (English as a second language). During that time God closed a couple of doors returning to the country I had such a burden for. To this day i still think on those precious memories and the very amazing people and I pray for them and their nation!
After yielding to God, i felt kinda lost. Missions was what I had committed my life to but now , I felt as though God was changing His mind on me. Now I realize that what he was doing was taking me on a journey to being a passionate person….not just about Missions but about HIM…..and HIS WORK!
Next came the Youth Ministries concentration, and here is where a true confession comes in. I did it because of a boy! I thought I was going to marry him! He was going to be a youth pastor. I was also serving in an inner city kids ministry that I loved. I saw and heard some terribly heartbreaking and scary things and yet none of that mattered. I loved those little kids so much! I felt horrible the day we had to sit down with the head of student development and say it was too risky for students to participate in any longer. When the relationship ended and that ministry was gone, again I felt as though God was changing His mind.
This time though something had changed in me…I think it was new found wisdom. I looked at the counseling program, i looked at all the classes I wanted to take, I looked at the missions program again…only one thing made sense….CHURCH MINISTRIES! It had the most non-required electives. I could have a broad horizon so God could lead how He wanted rather than playing guessing games on what God’s will was for me. I knew I was committed to full time ministry , i was open to anything…..anything except being a Pastor’s wife!
Two counseling electives, two women’s ministries electives, two education electives, a couple Bible electives , small groups elective, youth ministries electives and all the required stuff all bound into one concentration…oh and a guy! A guy who at the time I met him knew he would be pastor…..i also knew I would marry him, so that’s why I tried to fix him up with my roommate! Lol makes a ton of sense right? Continue reading “Life in a Fish Bowl: Choosing to Get in The Bowl”→
We used to do it all the time. We used to go on adventures, spur of the moment…it was a blast! But somewhere along the way we lost sight of those magical moments of family fun. Did it cost us anything? Outside of gas money and 24 hours no, not really! Did we benefit…Yes abundantly!
We rediscovered this fun this past weekend.
We had the week “off”. Though not really! We had a lot of around the house outdoor stuff to accomplish, and hubby did just that, then one of our friends got married at our church, though hubby didn’t do the service, I found myself in a role I rather enjoyed…helping!
Then Sunday! Sunday was a dream come true! A year ago a dear friend and local pastor retired to Florida. A few weeks ago he placed an open offer on facebook to fill the pulpit for anyone needing a break. We jumped at the chance. A few weeks later some church members approached hubby about doing a baby dedication. Coincidentally it was the same weekend this pastor friend would be here. EEEKK! We have always wanted to dedicate our children but we are rarely around when someone is filling the pulpit for hubby. We COULD STAY! We could ask this dear pastor friend if he would be willing to do the dedications! He said yes. I wish I had pictures! But I don’t! *sigh* but we finally got to dedicate mostly ourselves to raising godly kids! It was special!
Weasel did great! We made it through dedication, got little bean to the nursery, and the older three to junior church. I sat in my seat with my dear hubby’s arm around me (A super rare treat for a Pastor’s wife!) and I listened attentively. Even now it brings tears to my eyes. That dear pastor friend took the baby/children dedication and used that as a reference to challenge us as parents and the church as a whole to raise godly children. And as he addressed the church on how to love and encourage these children he added “even the little boy who marches to a different drum.” That was it. He was referring to our 5 year old autistic son. How true that is. Not everyone is gracious or understanding or patient with him. I tried to keep my face from doing that ugly scrunch up thing right before you burst into tears! I quickly brushed away the tears. My heart shouted AMEN at the top of it’s lungs (it is good my hearts lungs are buried deep inside my body). After church we had those dear friends for lunch we don’t get to see them very often now that they have moved so far away! What a joy! What laughter i enjoy spending time with this lovely couple!
We could have talked with them longer but they left and hubby and I were left standing in the kitchen wondering what to do next. We had no plans, but we had the evening off! I desperately needed to get out of the house. It was all clean top to bottom, what to do, what to do? Then hubby asks, “you wanna go to my parents house?” Sure! We hadn’t seen their new house and we hadn’t seen them since Christmas…..so off we went, lightly packed on a spur of the moment2 1/2 hour trip!
We got there before pappy and grandma got home from church ( pappy is a pastor too!). hubby got to help his dad with a couple of projects. The kids painted and played, both inside and out. Most of all we relaxed and enjoyed ourselves
It was a great reminder of how sometimes we just need to get away…..escape……do something new…..have fun.
It was a great reminder of the fun we once had on adventures to all sorts of neat places! I think we may just try to be spontaneous more often!
A though struck me this morning as i woke up and snuck out of our summer sleeping room……i hope they don’t wake up so early! “Lord please help them to sleep in today.” Was the prayer i uttered before jumping in the shower! To my kids sleeping in is 6:30 am. I have their father’s genes to thank for that!
Then it hit me….
As parents we want our kids to sleep in as late as possible, and right about the time we have them trained to do so, they are teenagers and want to sleep in till joon, and we aren’t happy because they are sleeping in!
