A Bitter Choice Made

I don’t talk much on here about our school choices for our kids, but I have wrestled…oh how I have wrestled.

We have chosen a path for our children, one that was rooted in much prayer and I’d girded with much sacrifice.

I want to preface this with two disclaimers

1.  I have nothing against parents who send their kids to public school.

2.  I have nothing against parents who homeschool their kids.

So those two things being said, I expect understanding that we chose the path of Christian school for our kids.  We have received a lot of flack from mostly Christians about why we have chosen that path.  

It’s expensive…yep!

It’s different….Yep.

I’m not going to sit here and apologize for it either..  My husband and I are both products of public school.  I transferred my senior year to a Christian school.   It was by far the best year of school until that point.  I have a great group of friends that extend out of that….thanks Dave, Richie, Howie, Greg,Goldie Tom and Jeff.  I still laugh at loud at some of the antics, lunch conversations……and study hall mischief (Mrs H you were the best!). Were the kids perfect ?  No way !

But as we had kids and I tried doing preschool…..I quickly learned homeschooling was NOT for me!  I could do it, but that’s not what God wanted for me….I was miserable and so was Tornado!   Then we moved…..we prayed, we did our homework.  We prayed, we prayed and we prayed! AND WE PRAYED SOME MORE!   We attended parents nights and finally settled for what we thought we could afford.   

Here are some fundamental truths we clung to as we made this decision.

1.  God wants us to be good stewards of all that he has given us, whether that’s our money, our cars, our house OR our children!

2.  We should not put in garbage into our bodies, or minds.  We define “garbage of the mind anything that  goes against God’s word!

3.  That we must teach our children to love and honor God, in all that we say and do.

That’s just a few.  And when I say we settled, I really mean we settled.  It wasn’t the best choice for our family….it was the most reasonable!.  And we paid for it too!   Our kids were broken.   Even I as their parent was afraid of parent/teacher conferences..

I don’t know which was worse, the day I heardthe teacher of my two oldest screaming at the class down the hall, or the day they told us our autistic son was not welcome to come back!  

So we found ourselves searching.  This time with new eyes….eyes wide open….what school is best for our kids?  At this point we lived in a different district.  Evaluations were being done on  weasel, a one to one aid, Speech, Physical, and occupational therapy.   But our question was public or private…..a lot of people asked why not homeschool him?   

1.  He’s autistic…we have a lot of friends who do that, homeschool their autistic kids….BUT, our little UNsocial butterfly would be much happier not a part of a group, but it is far better for him  to be with people and learn social skills!

2.  He would be I eligible for help, and I nor my husband are qualified to get him past the hurdles he has to overcome in school.

So that left us with two options.

Private or Public?

Well we were still convicted on the three listed above but now we also had to ask, which is best going to nurture the mind of an autistic kid who can’t  differentiate between reality and make believe….OR ….at best accepts pretty much everything he sees and hears as truth.   

Now I’m not looking for a theological discussion on post modern philosophy.   I will just explain it like this….if it goes against God’s word then it’s not truth!   That’s our FAITH,no religion, not something we just pulled out of the air.  It’s our convictions!

So Christian school it is.

We are constantly teaching God’s word here at home.

The character qualities of Jesus.   You see a lot of people view Christian school as the safe education of their children.  “They learned it at school so I don’t have to worry about it here! At home!”  That is where we differ from a lot of people I guess….we look at school especially Christian school as a back up, a safety net.  A place that is going to follow through on what we are teaching at home and church.   A place I don’t have to second guess that what they are teaching is contradicting the bible and their dad ( a pastor) .

But now I find my self deep in sadness.  A bit of confusion because we were sure God was leading us to have weasel in this particular school….this school is great, but it’s not meshing well. Our other kids are very happy and are excelling!  But now I feel as though my back is against the wall.  I love the people he’s working with at the public school he has made great strides and improvements, but I can’t help the feeling that I am sending my poor defenseless sheep into hungry wolves.  To confuse him.  I feel like I’m not doing a good enough job protecting his mind and what goes in.  I know he will be taught things contrary to God’s word.   

It’s like a neat lady once told me you need to hold your husband and your children with an open hand, for when you are holding them too tightly , you may have to let go.   I have protecting him for so long now, watching every little thing that enters his body, whether it be by mouth, eyes, or ears….it is now that I must let Go and let God do the guarding and protecting his mind.  I must trust God….for I know not what else  to do!

Book Review: Overextended….and Loving Most of it. By Lisa Harper

I remember the very first time I heard Lisa speak.  It was at a women of Faith conference two years ago in Rochester.   Her honesty spoke straight to my heart so I was excited to get my hands on this book and read away!   Low and behold the book was no different.

In Overextended, Lisa shares her ups and downs in her crazy busy life.   In her wit, and  Lisa-esque perspective on life, we are transported into her everyday.  She holds NOTHING. Back.  It’s that honesty that  brings you right to the  center of her life.  She is able to in written word draw you into the midst of her life….whether it be in her crazy travel schedules, ministry moments, or the touching struggles of adoption and ministry to the baby’s drug addicted mother.  Her sincerity and walk with God make you feel as though you are one of her closest friends!   

I LOVED THIS BOOK!  Mostly because it made me feel as though our family perspective on ministry life isn’t off base!  It was truly refreshing to see someone else be brutally honest about the hard parts but completely rely on God for their strength!  AND NOT ALWAYS SUCCEED!   

It was also very neat to read “the rest of the story”. Back at the WOF. Conference we prayed for that young drug addicted mom and the baby growing inside of her.  I have often wondered what happened.  Now I know.  I know way more of the story, then she had shared during the conference.  I don’t know too many people who would buy a young mother to be food, so she could nourish the baby growing inside her, and sit outside in a lawn chair pretty much guarding her!   It’s those stories and accounts that pull you in.  After reading this book I feel as though Lisa and I have been friends forever and yet,  we have never met .   Only at a conference with 850 ish of our closest friends!

So are you overextended and not really loving most of it?  It’s hard, but Lisa will change your perspective!

So I give this book a definite 5 stars!

DISCLAIMER: I received a free copy of this book to be reviewed by Thomas Nelson/Booksneeze.  In no way is there expected a positive review!

Dear Gram,

Dear Gram,

It’s been two years since we said goodbye!  Oh how I miss you!

It’s funny how you don’t truly appreciate someone or something until they or it is gone!

You are no different.  I miss seeing your smiling face, but what I miss more are your hugs and kisses

It seems too late now, but over the last two years, I have realized, just how great of a grandparent you were.

I have no recollection of you yelling at us, yes you corrected, but never yelled.   You didn’t spoil us with things, but you listened when we talked!  You encouraged me!   

And you example!  Oh how it speaks volumes!  Because we over the last year have walked, the most difficult road to date.  And on this road has been great loneliness.  Those who should have been there to support, turned their backs!  But in the midst of all of that God has used memories of you, supporting others, who have walked similar paths.  How you encouraged and loved, despite all else.  How you didn’t judge.  How you embraced and cared for them.

Thank you for the Christ like loved you displayed, even when they weren’t around.  Your silent testimony speaks volumes above all the empty self-righteous words of others.  A testimony that still impacts me though you are no longer with us

Thank you for the cookies.

Thank you for opening your home to us, to just hang out.  Did we make messes, I’m sure we did!  But I never once heard you complain about us and our presence!  I know you weren’t perfect, neither am I, no one is!

Thank you for your love.

Thank you for really listening to me!   

I love you

I miss you!

<3 Mary

 

Edify Stupid…..Be Careful Little Mouth What you Say!

It’s so easy to think that you know someone well enough that you can say pretty much anything to them.  Whether it be family, friends…..or *gulp* our husbands or kids!   It’s hard because we say things and then tack on “oh I’m just teasing” or “don’t take things so seriously” but in reality, it only takes once or twice before the person starts to get a different impression of you and  begins to think “well I guess that is how they really view me” even if you don’t

This was the topic of a sermon we heard a few weeks ago as we got a rare opportunity to sit together and her another pastor speak!   He spoke about our speech and what it reveals of our heart.  And it is so very true!

As I thought and prayed over my speech and  I asked God to give me something to share with you, my readers,  I have been  compiling a list .

A person that speaks……

         Complaints, has a discontented heart.

         Harsh words,  has a unconcerned heart.

          Angry words, has a bitter heart.

         Sarcastic words, has a hopeless heart.

          Words that tear down, hasa malicious heart. 

           Teasing words, has a selfish heart.

          Gossiping words, has a tasteless heart.

          Perverse words, has a vile heart.

         Crude words, has a heart lacking  in wisdom.

            Vain words, has a heart lacking control.

             Arrogant words, has a heart lacking in humility.

And I had to ask myself some really HARD. Questions!   Like…

What are my words revealing about my heart?  What are my words conveying to those around me?  It has not been easy but realized that just like most people I was letting things affect me….and then the condition of my heart is revealed!   I listened carefully to the things I was saying to my family.  It’s those little things  that collect in the dark recesses of our hearts and if we are not careful to weed them out, that’s when our hearts become infected!

So what does the speech of a person who has a Christ-centered heart look like? we have to look no further than 1 Corinthians 13 for that answer!

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. ESV

So much of what we say is evident by the fruit of the spirit in our lives, and if that fruit is missing or dwindling we need to find out why….the fruit of the spirit are a great indication of what’s going on on the inside.

Galatians 5:22-24 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  ESV

As I titled this blog post, I thought of how so many times as Christians we can portray one thing and yet our speech/actions reveal our true heart and that made me think of something called an oxymoron…..which is basically two words that are exact opposites, for example “jumbo shrimp”.  Well just like that so is “edify stupid”.Edify is to build up, but stupid is tearing someone down.  And yes we are called to hold each other accountable, but not in a condescending, Blunt, way

As I think about speech too it seems as though bluntness has become a badge, or almost like another spiritual gift, when in reality, BLUNT is hurtful,shows a lack of humility, self control, tact, and grace Of all people Jesus could have been blunt.  He is our picture of how we should relate to people.   Instead Jesus told stories (parables), asked questions, and quoted scripture (not out of context I might add!). He didn’t call for worship of himself, he came humbled to serve, to change lives!  He showed love and grace and pointed ALL to our Heavenly Father!  He didn’t claim greatness, he didn’t boast of who he was or the things he did, was doing or the things he will do!

So I will ask a hard question……what are your words saying of you?  Are they saying she is a follower of Christ? -OR- are they saying look out she is harboring  bitterness in her heart?  If you don’t know listen to yourself, ask your husband or kids AND  pray that God would :

1: open your eyes and show you

2: that he would clean house in your heart, weeding out  those pervasiove weeds!

3: that He would change your heart, continually making you aware of those little areas that need cleaning, and giving them over to him!

And I’ll close with this verse from one of our kid’s favorites songs:

O be careful little mouth what you say

O be careful little mouth what you say

There’s a Father up above

And He’s looking down in love

So, be careful little mouth what you say

Author unknown

 

 

            

I’m back! ……the last two weeks in a nutshell!

Hi, everyone.  I took an unplanned mini vacation from blogging…..and pretty much everything else!   Three weeks ago I smashed end the face of my iPad (unintentionally of course!).  My dear hubby smuggled it out of the house and took it to the kiosk in the mall to have the glass replaced.  Three days later I had it back.  But because the case was bent the glass didn’t fit properly,  AND what we didn’t know was that having the face replaced could (and in my case did) affect in the internal antenna!  Which meant that I could only get internet reception on the couch and in one other weird spot in our house!  We’ll that wasn’t going to work….I can’t very well blog without internet!   So a local retailer was having a special deal that if your iPad could power on and had no scratches in the face then they would trade it in for $200 at the least.   Why yes mine qualified! Woohoo.  So refurbished iPad a week later……so I got the iPad in the mail, and then I got sick!

So in betweenn the no iPad, we celebrated hubby’s grandparent’s 70th wedding anniversary and what a blessing that was but more on that in a later blog post!  And then there was our bi-annual planning meeting….then enter sickness!

Isck!   I could barely stand to move, let alone look at a screen that moves.

I am slowly getting better, but I have had to re-set up the iPad, just how I had my old one with passwords, apps and so on.  It just takes time.

This week has had a trip for a second EEG for weasel after he had a Pet. Mal seizure at school earlier this school year.  Then a dentist appointment (which I did liken to wanting to go to the dentist,like I wanted to hug a provoked porcupine)…..and did I mention I am hosting Thanksgiving next week!  Whew!   Then starts in a host of meetings for weasel, including his 8 hr. Evaluation!   

So that in a nutshell has been my last 3 weeks!   So please be patient with me as we work around crazy schedules and so on!

Have a great night!