Tonight I am sitting on my couch just having finished my first cup of fresh Chocolate Mint tea,
And I listen to the giggles of my four kids as the watch Gilligans Island, their reward for hard work as we worked to get the house back in order! I glanced up to see this pretty sight as I plan for tomorrow…..I AM RICHLY BLESSED!
The very first thing you learn when you become a mom is…..EVERYONE knows better than you do about your child! And it’s rare to come across people who will say things like…
“I only give my opinion if asked” (and actually stick to it)
Or
“Or just tell me how I can help”
If you find these people KEEP THEM CLOSE!
The funny thing is that the moment you share with people that something is wrong with your kid the know-it-alls in your world magically become immediate experts in whatever crisis it is you are facing….when in reality all you really need is a hug and the two above statements backed up with ACTION!
So as we have been on a knowledgable journey of autism for the last 20 months. I have run into all kinds of experts. Experts both with and Witout medical degrees…..experts who truly know what they are talking about, and self-proclaiming experts that read something on the internet and are just blowing smoke!
They come in all shapes and sizes! In all sorts of careers….let me ask you this…..DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE A MEDICAL DEGREE TO BE AN EXPERT ON AUTISM/ADHD. Or any illness for that matter?
NOT A CHANCE.
AND
Does it mean that just because a a person has a medical degree that they are an expert, or even understand autism?
NOT A CHANCE!!!
I’m quickly becoming an expert in the land of Weasel(our autistic son). I’m not an expert in all autistic kids.
My friend Noelle put it this way to me “You MUST. Become a student of…..” And it’s so true! The trigger foods my son has will not be the same as the next kids, though there are common ones like red food dye (or any food dye) and then there are kid specific ones like cinnamon! And in reality we should all be students of our children. Knowing their fears, desires, joys! The things they like!
For example
Tornado: loves history just like daddy and mommy, specifically the civil war era. And has since he was 4 or 5. He loves art and music. He wants to learn!
Ladybug…the lover of pretty things, a girly girl through and through BUT NOT AFRAID TO GET DIRTY 🙂
She loves horses and longs to have her own. She loves to color, paint her nails and play dress up.
Weasel- a little boy who is showing much promise in art and is almost completely pitch perfect. He loves anything tiny and is afraid of windows (NO JOKE)
Little bean- Mr. Independence, super cuddly, love rescue bots and Jake and the Neverlad Pirates and choo choo trains. Loves almost all animals except mice and any bug to which he screams like a girl and hides (he is 4 people!)
I intentionally left off struggles for this reason, we as a family believe children need to feel safe in their home and that means their personal struggles stay within our family! Anything outside of that is not making our home a safe haven!
So then what about the title? Well all the above is stated because being a student of your child is helpful in knowing who is just blowing smoke!!
So I’m going to put the ADHD question to rest here…..
Yesterday (6/20) we drove across the state for Weasel’s Neurology appointment to address two concerns
1. siezures activity
2. ADHD (this was requested not by us but by the Evaluation center who diagnosed Wesel’s autism)
So here’s the outcome
1. Siezures inconclusive…siezures and autism go hand in hand BUT even though he has some signs not all are there like rigid ness and eyes OPE During the behaviors as he sleeps. We are to keep our eyes open for these things (pun Not intended). Also the spell from September where he fell out of his chair at school would be deemed a fainting spell. Faints go limp siezures=Stiffness. The faint could be from a drop in blood sugar, a drop in blood pressure or any other number of things!
2. ADHD – Negative. Autism and ADHD share some similarities and it is not uncommon for an autistic child to have both! And I am here to tell you as a once self-proclaimed expert that I was dead wrong. ADHD is a VERY real NEUROLOGICAL disorder. Though our son does not have it, it is something families deal and struggle with. Is it misdiagnosed absolutely, and our son was almost one of those misdiagnosed….misdiagnosed by church families, family members, a bus driver and a doctor! (Let’s just put an end to the misnomer that ADHD =excessive energy! That is False)
And in closing I just want to say this, as a parent of a special needs kid, it is my desire for my child to be loved and accepted! I am aware not everyone will do that. I know that people who take the name of Christ and claim it as their identity will act as though they themselves have never experienced the love and grace of Christ. It’s a sad testament that over the last few months I have read heart wrenching stories of special needs kids being kicked our of church nurseries and Sunday Schools all over the country. Act like Jesus….if you are going to take his name CHRISTian you better put forth the effort to LOVE LIKE HE DID, SACRIFICE HE DID, ACCEPT LIKE HE DID, One of the biggest blessings you could ever receive is to have a special needs kid! Yep, I just said that!
I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, and no I don’t know your circumstances. But I do know that God exhorts us to
“Give thanks in ALL circumstances” 1Thess 5:18
AND
“Rejoice in The Lord ALWAYS,” 1 Thess. 6.16
SO THAT BEING SAID Here is how special needs changed this mama!
1. I know now that a screaming kid in a grocery store is not necessarily the product of bad parenting.
2. It is my job to fight for my child…whether that is mistreatment, or for services needed.
3. Being able (and willing) to put ourselves inside his world. This takes practice and patience and a lot of reading between the lines, but if you do this you can eventually see things in other kids who come into your sphere. So yes kids don’t have the same anxiety or fear, but you can take the skills learned from entering your child’s world, and begin to enter another child’s world. (THIS ONE THING GIVES YOU THE ABILITY TO REACH OUT NOT JUST TO THE KIDS BUT TO PARENTS AND SIBLINGS).
4. Just like any major illness, you become painfully aware of precious time. Before we ever found out that weasel was autistic we have to call 911 three different times. Poison control more times than I care to remember, and our doctor for some very strange things….namely eating things that shouldn’t be eaten! (A sign of autism) go figure!
So as you can see despite all the negatives we have experienced there are bright spots…..they are sometimes sproartic…and sometimes show up in a plethora, but no matter what keep your eyes open, search for them. I promise they will show up in AMAZING WAYS,
The Nesting Place by Myquillyn Smith is a unique book on home decorating.
It takes the approach of if you like it go with it!
The book is skillfully written to encourage the reader to step outside of your comfort zone! It’s geared towards both homeowners and renters with the weight leaning more towards renters but please don’t think that it is exclusively so.
The whole first part of the book goes into great detail on each of the authors many past and present dwelling places…and trust me she describes each so well that it feels like you are standing right in the middle of that particular room. And don’t worry even if your minds eye isn’t quite catching on most of her descriptions are captured in beautiful photographs illustrating, projects, problems and real life!
Let me start off my critique by saying this….THIS IS NOT A BOOK I WOULD NORMALLY PICK! I picked it out of sheer lack of interest in all the rest offered. I am a crafty person by nature but I have always felt true home decorating just out of reach! This book changed my outlook completely
As a pastors family decorating money is slim to none! So when I read the chapter on shopping your own home, I was instantly inspired to do this ! I visited three locations in my home and found just what I needed
1.the kitchen for 3 Mason Jars (1quart and two pints)
2.the Garage for White spray Paint
3. And my front yard for DAISYS
Yep that’s it….and this is what I got…..
This simple country centerpiece literally took me 10 minutes!
And why didn’t I think of this sooner?????
Another chaper talked about the MIStreatment of your windows. She relates a story that she became impatient with waiting to take expense fabric to be sewn professionally for curtains.she just cut the fabric, hung them with curtain clips (she didn’t even finish the seams! *GASP*. So when a designer friend showed up she though she had already had them done! The friend was surprised when the author admitted to her impatience and their incomplete state. The designer friend would have never known otherwise! She goes on to explain that sometimes we get it in our heads that we can’t do something because it’s NOT THE “RIGHT” WAY!! We think that it has to be this kind of Fabric, or only professionally done or……the list goes on and on and on!! Well when it comes to decorating you can go with what you like, what you can afford……and anything weird you so desire! So I need dark curtains in two rooms….and guess what I will be using? SHEETS! Yep brand new 5 dollar cotton sheets. I can make the dark curtains for four windows…2 in each room for about 20$ and get exactly what I want and need without spending LOADS of money!
So here are a few other things I will implement in the coming months
A gallery wall. Showcasing all the things I love (and I won’t be afraid to change it often!
Stumps as end tables…probably white washed, but maybe plain as well! (don’t knock it, they are pretty cute)
I’m going to paint furniture.
I’m going to repurpose things that were once used for something else.
I’m not going to be afraid of something new…and if I don’t like what I did, I will redo it!
So I must absolutely give this book a five star rating! It was such a joy and an encouragement to read! Even if you are not crafty or the decorating type this book can help you love even the most undesirable of situations!
DISCLAIMER: I received a free copy of this book from BookLook, with no obligation of positive review.
…..and you embrace it. But sometimes SOMETHING has to give. For me over the last two months, I have had to set aside my blogging in order to do things well! To be a good wife, a good mom, and a good ministry leader, and most importantly a good Princess…I am a child of the King after all..
So this is my return. I am refreshed and renewed. I have soaked in God’s word (as I continue to do so). My house is clean…(mostly) and my kids are all snug in beds….ok so I am sitting outside of a bedroom as I type this struggling with a special needs kiddo who thinks sleeping is old fashioned!
These last two months of veritable silence here in my little home sweet home has not just been full of busyness (and it has) but it has been a time of peace, renewal, a time of wrestling with God(more on that in a bit) and a time of new insight, not just into my heart but into the lives of my hubby and children.
Does this all mean that my life is any less crazy right now??? Not a chance! I will ALWAYS be busy! That is quite ok though. I would rather have a gazillion things on my plate than to be absorbed into a fake world that leaves me with countless hours of wasted time, money and brain cells.
So what just has happened over the Last two months
Well Hubby finished his M.A. In Linguistics
So for those keeping track
Associates in Wood Products engineering
Bachelors of Religious Education Pastoral/Languages Emphasis
Master of Divinity
Master of Theology
Master of Arts in Linguistics.
Words cannot express at just how proud of him I am. Not because he has 5 pieces of paper, but because of his diligence to what God has called him to do, always willing to better himself to help others! It makes every single second worth it!
Then there is the end of the school year activities
Along with picnics, awards ceremonies, 2 zoo trips,
A drive across the state for a retirement recognition for hubby’s parents
And THIS…..
We were so saddened to hear of the death of a dear mentor of hubby’s. This actually pushed back my original restart date by two weeks as my dear husband grieved the hardest I have ever seen him grieve. And even though he has done over 20 funerals in five years he was still touched very deeply by this loss! But we can rejoice that he is with God in Heaven learning even more of the ins and outs of Greek and God’s word than ever imaginable, he is still greatly missed!
And you might as well
Because I too have engaged in a wrestling match with God over the contents of a book I am working on. Thankfully no dislocated hip was endured, but a process of dealing with stuffed emotions for many years has culminated in a recurring theme. A friend (ok MORE THAN ONE FRIEND) has been repeating themselves, “share your story you’ve been given,” as they encourage me. Sometimes we don’t want to for whatever reason, but I have laid down my preferences, I have cried uncle and I will press forward. I don’t know how I am going to do this BUT, in all of it, I will trust God to hold my hand!
So in a VERY abbreviated nutshell this is what has consumed our life over the last few months!
It’s not been easy but the refiner’s fire gets rid of the impurities so we may shine all the brighter for the one who died such a radical death for me. So here I am ready to run this race again. Be watching for some changes and encouragement .
With much love,
