Category: daily life

What I Know -Choosing Courage -Day 10

Posted on by Mary
Know

Good evening sweet friends! Welcome to Day 10 of my Choosing Courage Project. Today we are going to talk about “What I know”. the great thing is what I know is what you can know too.

But First the back story

I know I have shared what my December looked like but what I haven’t shared was how much of a mental struggle it was.

As a family we grew leaps and bounds throughout the whole season of lockdown.. We made it as much fun as we possibly could and did a lot of really awesome stuff together. We did long distance daily lego challenges with an uncle and a cousin. During the summer we had friends over to play on our slip n slide. and Christmas was shaping up to be a fun one too. I had made a fun advent calendar. Each day held a fun family activity and a reverse advent calendar where we put an item of food in a box and then donated it to a family.

Everything was going great until December 8th. That was the first of three trips to the ER and for the next three days we lived in complete uncertainty as to why my body had quit doing a very simple task that we all do every single day (sorry for now that’s all the details you get). The did a quick fix and sent me home. 2 days later I found myself right back there and this time I got some answers…and I knew what it meant…or at least I thought I did. I can’t tell you how many times I heard the phrase “you are a very special case”. and I would continue to prove them right all through the month of December.

A week later I had a special procedure and I was told that I would be in the worst pain I have ever experienced and they weren’t wrong. I made it through Christmas and the pain was finally subsiding. I knew surgery was coming and then the pain started- different pain on the 27th.

Back to the ER on the 28th

Up until this point I was exhausted and in pain but my focus had been where it should be on Jesus. But when I found myself in what felt like labor. I can’t tell you how many times that day that I was a very special case and hat “we have never seen anything quite like this” and off to the ER I went again.

And at this point I was at my breaking point. I felt like I was losing my mind. Have you ever been in such excruciating pain that wouldn’t stop. You seriously feel like you are going crazy….or at least I did. and then I reached out to my friends in tears I wrote “I feel like I am making life difficult for everyone right now I’m struggling to see the purpose in this for sure.” I was laying a lone In the ER for the third time, I was mentally, physically and emotionally spent. I felt like I had completely ruined Christmas for everyone. I had spent weeks a lone on the apartment. We had a kid in quarantine and hubby was trying to keep me healthy because we knew I had to have surgery but not sure when. On December 28th God took surgery off the table.

After that post one of my friends sent me a devotional she had read the same morning. Are you ready for the title?

When you Don’t Understand God’s Timing ……REALLY?? I can’t make this stuff up! The author, Alicia Bruxvoort.

Here’s the excerpt of that devotional.

But I’m learning that when God’s timing doesn’t match my pining, I need to focus on what I know rather than what I feel. So, I turn to Ecclesiastes 3:11 and read the words of King Solomon:

“God has given [us] a desire to know the future. He does everything just right and on time, but people can never completely understand what he is doing.”

This verse helps me filter my frustration through God’s unchanging truth. It reminds me that my delays aren’t a sign of God’s indifference, but an expression of His wisdom. 

I’ll never fully understand the complexities of God’s eternal plan while I’m bound to the dust of earth. But I can place my hope in God’s integrity even when I can’t comprehend His itinerary.

When my hope is tied to God’s trustworthiness instead of His timing, it changes my attitude in the waiting.

I am prone to recall His faithfulness instead of questioning His fairness. (Psalm 77:11)

I am able to respect His wisdom instead of disputing His ways.

I am inclined to celebrate His majesty instead of second-guessing His motives.

But, best of all, when I place the crux of my faith on the trustworthiness of God’s character, I discover an unexpected gift in the grit of delay.

It’s that first line that really hit me….”ut I’m learning that when God’s timing doesn’t match my pining, I need to focus on what I know rather than what I feel.”

I was having a whole lot of really raw and scary feelings (The was compounded by some anxiety induced by low iron levels that couldn’t even be registered in my blood work.

Where “What I know ” was born.

That sentence changed everything and gave bye a change of perspective. Right then and there I started going over and over in my head all the truth I knew about God and you know what I learned? When you are in intense pain AND have morphine coursing through your system your memory is NOT GOOD AT ALL! and so I purposed in my heart togo on a learning adventure when I got home. I would write down all of my “learning is a set of spiral bound set of index cards.

Know

I wrote these items don- all scripture based and when I have struggled I turn to that little tool . It is amazing just how many promises and characteristics of God cam during that time. They were everywhere (They still are).

I think so often that we are going through something we look for a quick fix. I could have jumped to a tool that had all of these things already done fore me but for this time and circumstance, I needed to go on this journey by myself. Reading and searching God’s word for these gems.

So What Now?

I’m still adding to this notebook. These note cards have helped many a night when the anxiety sky- rockets as my iron level dropped. It slipped easily into my purse when going to a doctor’s appointment that triggered fear and anxiety.

I continue this journey with what I know because feelings are deceitful and can mislead us.

How about you? Do you have a plan in place for when you are facing fear and anxiety? How do you keep your mind focused on what you know rather than our misleading feelings? Let me know in the comments below !

For more of the Choosing Courage posts click here.

Week 1 Update – Choosing Courage

Posted on by Mary
Update

It’s day 9 and here is an update

Wow When I said that I was totally dumbfounded that 9 days have flown by so quickly but then in the next breath I say only 91 more todays. YIKES I need to stop that.

I have finished nearly 25% of the book (Hello Fears). Note I am only blogging through the book and I cannot yet recommend the book. I will write a full review at the end of the book. I don’t usually blog though a book like this, The verdict is out on whether I ever do it again,

How am I doing?

The first few days were rough. Fears were tough to fight through but I pushed through those and faced my fears, I posted two blog posts off my list of posts I have been putting off And I shared my artwork. I have managed to blog every single day without missing a single day, TOUGH it it did result in some late nights. Including an evening with some pretty severe stomach issues relating to a very obvious bad food choice.

Now at this point I am not really thinking much about what I fear before I hit the publish button. I am not so naive to think that those little fears won’t rear their ugly little heads again.

All of This has shown me that despite our crazy schedules that I still can find time to blog. A lie I had bout into for awhile now. It’s amazing what we tell ourselves when we are fearful of something. And that I can write without being afraid.

A personal update

it’s been 3-ish weeks since my last iron infusion and I am noticing a huge difference. The severe anxiety is almost non-existent. My heart is not racing non-stop. The icky taste in my mouth is fading. I am sleeping better. I am not short of breath And I can make it through most days without a nap or without going to lay down between 7 and 8 pm.. My mind is clearer and I am able to get way more done in the day.

Today I had an appointment with the Allergist who also specializes in immunology. I have had low IGG and IGA levels for sometime. So Over the last 5 weeks I have been (hopefully) growing antibodies. only managed to grow about 40% of what I should have. So starting within the next week or so I will start getting monthly infusions of antibodies . It’s a two hour process so I need to line up my future reading! I mean I have my list – so I guess I won’t be bored. I think I need to come up with something else to do as well. Goodness two hours to just sit and read. maybe I need a list of podcasts to listen to as well.

Family update

Our oldest two are embarking on their second year of soccer. And everyone is starting our second year of homeschooling. Hubby is in full swing of the church search and we are moving forward in every area. We are excited to wrap up the summer with some slip n slide fun with friends and just like that we slide into a new school year.

Thanks for hanging out with me through this first week of Choosing Courage and if you are new here you can check out the other 9 days by clicking here.

Happy Homemaker Monday Day 8- 8/23/2021

Posted on by Mary

Hey Happy Homemaker Monday Friends. It’s been a while! If you are interested in checking out why we took a leave of absence from my blog and all things social media you can check out my blog post here…..It’s been quite the journey

Happy

The weather….. 

You can certainly tell it is nearing the end of the summer here in upstate NY! Cooler mornings and evenings and we are now camping in the mid to upper 70’s and low 80’s. It’s also been an extremely WET summer for sure.

Right now I am….

writing this post at the kitchen table I REALLY need to clean off the table when I’m done!

Thinking….

about our new journey we are on. It has it’s ups and downs.  But it has been an adventure and we wouldn’t want to be on it with anyone else but each other.

On my reading pile…. 

Hello fears, Get Out of Your Head and S.H.A.P.E.

On my TV….. 

Touched By an Angel (It’s been a long time)

On the menu for this week….
Monday – Chicken and Biscuits
Tuesday –  Taco Salad
Wednesday -Pasta and Meat Sauce
Thursday Shepherds Pie
Friday – Chef Salads
Saturday -Chicken thighs and corn on the cob in the smoker. Sunday –  Chili

On my to do list….

Finish up last minute homeschooling stuff, cleaning, organizing

In the craft basket…. 

Finish up a cactus painting

Looking forward to this week…. 

Slip N Slide fun with friends

Looking around the house….

 LOTS of deep cleaning. We have lots of boxes around too so we are really in limbo.

From the camera….

We have had some great sunset pictures as of late and everyone in the house loves capturing them in photos. This gen was a rainbow that showed up with NO rain. The rain showed up about an hour later.

Happy

On my prayer list…..

Friends and family who are really struggling with death, and sickness. friends who have a lot of personal things going on. Afghanistan. Haiti. Friends who are recovering from surgeries. Wisdom and patience in many areas

Bible verse, Devotional….

Philippians 1:12-19 NIV

12 Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters,[a]that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. 13 As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard[b] and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. 14 And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.

15 It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. 16 The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. 17 The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.18 But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance

For More Happy Homemaker Posts Check out The Diary of a Stay at Home Mom

When the Bible Becomes a Textbook- Day 7

Posted on by Mary
Bible

The Bible A Textbook?

It’s a problem that seems to be growing more and more within the church. It’s more prevalent in college’s and seminaries where the Bible really is on the textbook list. I think a Bible was on every class syllabus I had throughout college except for Math class and maybe the two English classes I had.

When the Bible is taught on an academic level we need to be careful to make sure the Bible stays personal. We need to be sure that we realize that the Bible never returns void and that we can learn something each and every time we read it. But it’s not just in college and seminary, this happens in churches too. It happens when believers take in too much spiritual information. We do it in the name of learning but we forget that there is another piece….

Spiritual Gluttony

Are you a “FAT” Christian? There are so many spiritually obese Christians within the church. They sit in their homes and in Bible studies and they talk about how much they have learned and how much time they spend praying or studying God’s word. They can quote and re-quote God’s word . Yes we are commanded to learn and hide God’s word in our hearts.

That’s not the problem. the problem is when we as believers don’t use the knowledge God has given us through his word. And it’s not just what we do with it it is HOW we use it.

3 Areas That point to spiritual obesity

  1. Holding one’s quiet time/ spiritual disciplines over another person. When we think that our spirituality is greater than someone else’s we are elevating ourselves over others. We aren’t to think ourselves better than other people, no matter how much time we spend in God’s Word.
  2. Using scripture to beat people up. Misuse of scripture and hurting others also shows a lack of maturity in faith. I’m not saying we shouldn’t speak truth but oftentimes we forget the second part of that verse. We need to speak the truth IN LOVE. Not with the proverbial biblical baseball bat.
  3. A lack of spiritual growth. I once heard someone say “I’m not a very merciful person.” It was this person’s excuse to behave poorly and mistreat people. We shouldn’t wear our sins and faults as a badge of honor (more on this in an upcoming blog post). When we know but are not putting the knowledge into practice we show a lack of growth.

Right now our church is doing a study of the book Respectable Sins. And today in church the message was on harshness. And each Sunday, the pastor speaking answers a respectable sin with a Fruit of the spirit. Today the pastor said that fruit is there for us to pick and use as we need and sometimes we just ignore the fruit entirely. Wow!

4 Steps to keep us from Making the Bible. textbook

  1. Remember that the Bible is for us to grow. We need to take the beam out of our own eye before we can take the speck out of another. It’s called humility. Remember that scripture never returns void. We are to learn to become closer to Jesus and grow in his heart and character.
  2. Humility, humility, humility. Have a teachable spirit. Don’t forget that we need to not only take in the information, we also need to apply it to our own lives.
  3. Remember we cannot give what we do not have. You cannot tell someone else how to live if you yourself do not have Joy, Peace, Forbearance, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control.
  4. Practice the idea of a personal prayer closet. It doesn’t matter how much time you spend in God’s word just as long as you are devoted to him and have a teachable spirit. If you are reading God’s word for the sake of attacking someone, that isn’t a teachable spirit. Depending on the specific season of our lives we may not have the ability to spend longer in God’s word. Case in point: In December I couldn’t spend as much time in God’s word however, I grew by leaps and bounds because my faith was being stretched in far different ways. My prayer life was different, I learned to rely on God for the most basic of needs. And it taught me a whole new level of reliance on God.

A word about forbearance

Forbearance is a funny word- I have studied it before but I always forget what it means and then I look it up and I say “OHHHHHH”. It also happens to be what I have seen as one of the BIGGEST struggles within the church- patience and tolerance.

Tolerance is more than “you need to be tolerant of me and my ________”

Remember the “we can’t give what we don’t have”. If you cannot be tolerant of the music, or the children in church than you cannot expect to receive tolerance for whatever your preferences are. Did you notice I said preference? Sin should never be tolerated in church.

Confession time

I have struggled with this from time to time. If we are honest with ourselves we all struggle with this. And it’s that honesty that will make the biggest impact in our walk with God. Repent of our sin of mistreating others, misusing God’s word and give over that critical spirit to God and allow Him to change our hearts.

It’s time we realize that being obese Christians fattened up by all of our knowledge is useless. It’s only when we apply God’s word to our lives that it is at it’s most useful state.

How about you? Have you ever struggled with falling into the ‘Bible as a textbook as a trap”? Let me know how you have overcome it in the comments below.

Choosing Courage: Day 6 Letting you in on a Secret

Posted on by Mary

Happy Saturday everyone. So today I am letting you in on a little secret about me. (as if you didn’t already know that by the title ). So about my secret. As a young girl I had a desire to learn something. I didn’t have the resources to learn this task and for whatever reason our art classes In school didn’t really teach painting. We used things like clay and colored pencil and paper mâché but no paint (except for on the paper mâché).

So did you guess it?

The image kind of gave it away. And so did my talking about painting. A few years ago I told my hubby about my dream and asked if we could get some paint. I have always been a crafter but I never really thought of myself as an artist and truth be told I still don’t.

I have been sharing some of my art on instagram for a while (that started with #inktober.). and sometimes I share on facebook. But when I did I also shared where I needed to grow. And someone jumped down my throat for it being just fine.

The problem isI don’t write to get attention or praise I explain this in my post here about why I use social media and one of the reasons is for my own personal growth. Utilizing facebook memories serves as my reminder of where I was and how much I’ve grown from that point.

Past promises are now fulfilled

I have been promising to post artwork here for sometime, but after some of those moments I just kept putting it all off. Well todays the day. As I was thinking about the the choosing courage writing project I asked myself what was I holding back in and the art posts came to mind.

So here are a few of my better art projects. Some watercolor, some acrylic and one alcohol marker test page. I by no means am a professional. And there are MANY areas of improvement. I don’t paint or art for anyone else but that 6 year old little girl who watched Bob Ross before Bob Ross was cool.

secret
secret

(Now I know these pictures aren’t the full ones (something is going on with my computer/blog this evening so I will try to get these fixed tomorrow.

How about you? do you have any hidden areas that you secretly enjoy but have been too afraid to share with the world.?

Have a great night and we will see you tomorrow!