Defining My Life By a Song

This was an easy task!
I have no qualms in admitting I am a HUGE TobyMac fan.
I may *cough* or may not have taught my children the moves to his song Me Without You.

And even though I am no one famous…..
I do not perform in any way (usually)
As a pastor’s wife I sometimes find myself speaking in public, teaching Sunday school, an impromptu skit……or any number of other ransoms things…..and for me personally this particular song, is such an amazing, humbling prayer.

Are we willing step step aside from our plans….what we have prepared and let God change the direction….this does not mean not preparing and fly by the seat of your pants! Just let God do what He is going to do and be very aware of what is happening before your eyes!

The song is ….
STEAL MY SHOW by TobyMac
Another cold night
Another late flight
It’s almost show time, and Diverse City’s waitin’ on me
We got a packed house, the crowd is callin’ out
They want the beat to drop, but what we really need is You

[Chorus:]
If You wanna steal my show, I’ll sit back and watch You go
If You got somethin’ to say, go on and take it away
Need You to steal my show, can’t wait to watch You go
So take it away

So now the crowd is hype, that you showed up tonight
Anticipatin’, cravin’ somethin’ more than smoke and lights
So I’ll step out the way, I’ll give You center stage
Alight
Spotlight
Give ’em what they came for …

[Chorus]

When You arrive, we come to life
Our hearts collide, they’re beating in the same time
You’re comin’ through, all eyes on You
Our hearts collide, they’re beating in the same time, beating in the same time

No matter who we are, no matter what we do
Every day we can choose to say …

[Chorus]

My life
My friends
My heart
It’s all Yours, God
Take it away
My dreams
My fears
My family
My career
Take it away
Take it away
It’s all Yours, God
Take it away
Take it away
It’s You I wanna live for

And of course….the video

http://youtu.be/30Q20BQkGfc

A Bitter Choice Made

I don’t talk much on here about our school choices for our kids, but I have wrestled…oh how I have wrestled.

We have chosen a path for our children, one that was rooted in much prayer and I’d girded with much sacrifice.

I want to preface this with two disclaimers

1.  I have nothing against parents who send their kids to public school.

2.  I have nothing against parents who homeschool their kids.

So those two things being said, I expect understanding that we chose the path of Christian school for our kids.  We have received a lot of flack from mostly Christians about why we have chosen that path.  

It’s expensive…yep!

It’s different….Yep.

I’m not going to sit here and apologize for it either..  My husband and I are both products of public school.  I transferred my senior year to a Christian school.   It was by far the best year of school until that point.  I have a great group of friends that extend out of that….thanks Dave, Richie, Howie, Greg,Goldie Tom and Jeff.  I still laugh at loud at some of the antics, lunch conversations……and study hall mischief (Mrs H you were the best!). Were the kids perfect ?  No way !

But as we had kids and I tried doing preschool…..I quickly learned homeschooling was NOT for me!  I could do it, but that’s not what God wanted for me….I was miserable and so was Tornado!   Then we moved…..we prayed, we did our homework.  We prayed, we prayed and we prayed! AND WE PRAYED SOME MORE!   We attended parents nights and finally settled for what we thought we could afford.   

Here are some fundamental truths we clung to as we made this decision.

1.  God wants us to be good stewards of all that he has given us, whether that’s our money, our cars, our house OR our children!

2.  We should not put in garbage into our bodies, or minds.  We define “garbage of the mind anything that  goes against God’s word!

3.  That we must teach our children to love and honor God, in all that we say and do.

That’s just a few.  And when I say we settled, I really mean we settled.  It wasn’t the best choice for our family….it was the most reasonable!.  And we paid for it too!   Our kids were broken.   Even I as their parent was afraid of parent/teacher conferences..

I don’t know which was worse, the day I heardthe teacher of my two oldest screaming at the class down the hall, or the day they told us our autistic son was not welcome to come back!  

So we found ourselves searching.  This time with new eyes….eyes wide open….what school is best for our kids?  At this point we lived in a different district.  Evaluations were being done on  weasel, a one to one aid, Speech, Physical, and occupational therapy.   But our question was public or private…..a lot of people asked why not homeschool him?   

1.  He’s autistic…we have a lot of friends who do that, homeschool their autistic kids….BUT, our little UNsocial butterfly would be much happier not a part of a group, but it is far better for him  to be with people and learn social skills!

2.  He would be I eligible for help, and I nor my husband are qualified to get him past the hurdles he has to overcome in school.

So that left us with two options.

Private or Public?

Well we were still convicted on the three listed above but now we also had to ask, which is best going to nurture the mind of an autistic kid who can’t  differentiate between reality and make believe….OR ….at best accepts pretty much everything he sees and hears as truth.   

Now I’m not looking for a theological discussion on post modern philosophy.   I will just explain it like this….if it goes against God’s word then it’s not truth!   That’s our FAITH,no religion, not something we just pulled out of the air.  It’s our convictions!

So Christian school it is.

We are constantly teaching God’s word here at home.

The character qualities of Jesus.   You see a lot of people view Christian school as the safe education of their children.  “They learned it at school so I don’t have to worry about it here! At home!”  That is where we differ from a lot of people I guess….we look at school especially Christian school as a back up, a safety net.  A place that is going to follow through on what we are teaching at home and church.   A place I don’t have to second guess that what they are teaching is contradicting the bible and their dad ( a pastor) .

But now I find my self deep in sadness.  A bit of confusion because we were sure God was leading us to have weasel in this particular school….this school is great, but it’s not meshing well. Our other kids are very happy and are excelling!  But now I feel as though my back is against the wall.  I love the people he’s working with at the public school he has made great strides and improvements, but I can’t help the feeling that I am sending my poor defenseless sheep into hungry wolves.  To confuse him.  I feel like I’m not doing a good enough job protecting his mind and what goes in.  I know he will be taught things contrary to God’s word.   

It’s like a neat lady once told me you need to hold your husband and your children with an open hand, for when you are holding them too tightly , you may have to let go.   I have protecting him for so long now, watching every little thing that enters his body, whether it be by mouth, eyes, or ears….it is now that I must let Go and let God do the guarding and protecting his mind.  I must trust God….for I know not what else  to do!

Getting Ugly

That is what I did today….i got Ugly! What does that mean? Well getting ugly is that all out crying moment when you can’t control tears, sobs…..anything. It’s that moment you fall to your knees and cry out to Jesus for your sanity’s sake. It’s that moment you have nothing left to give this world, and you need strength, mercy and grace lest you end up on the 5 o’clock news! (You hopefully understand that I said that to make a point!) It’s the breaking point where you have no where else to turn.

image

I have been catching up all week on a Bible Study God laid on my heart to join….4 weeks late! AMAZING thing is, i have almost accomplished that goal! So why all the ugly? Why today? Why now?

Continue reading “Getting Ugly”

Thoughts From the Heart.

I have mentioned a few times that I have been working on the Good Morning Girls Bible Study. It is my first time participating in an online Bible study and I have loved it for the most part and I look forward to the next one. It is hard to believe there is only two weeks left! It has flown by so very quickly…too quickly.

I have shared only a few things but this week, I thought I might share something that hit me. We will start at the beginning of the week with Monday’s verse:

Proverbs 31:30 – Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (ESV)

The very first thing is the little phrase, “is to be praised”. Notice it’s not “will be praised”. King Lemuels mother is telling her son to praise God fearing women…particularly his wife, after that what she is teaching him to look for is a God fearing woman.

Then as the week progresses we hit the passage that challenged my heart…actually the very next day: Tuesday!

Continue reading “Thoughts From the Heart.”

Soooooo I got an email from……

……oh wouldn’t you like to know? Actually I want to say this if you are a Christian who works with or has or loves a little kid who is a big fan of Veggie Tales I have some news that I want to talk to you about! Now about that email. The email was from MovieGuide. They send out e-mails concerning family centered entertainment choices! The most recent email I received was concerning VeggieTales who had been purchased along with Classic Media, which includes Rocky and Bullwinkle, Casper the Friendly Ghost and some others, by none other than Dreamworks! When I opened the email it startled me because there alongside of our once beloved VeggieTales stands Shrek and his whole ogerish crew! Now many of you knew I lost interest in VeggieTales back when Phil Vischer lost ownership, but this newest developement leaves me as a mom scratching my head. By placing Veggie Tales next to Shrek is Dreamworks preparing us for a drastic change? Will we be hearing crude donkey jokes out of sweet little junior asparagus? (or at least something along those lines??).

I have found all of this very interesting! I hope you do tooo. We need to keep our eyes and ears open as we guard what is absorbed by the little hearts and minds God has given to us to be stewards over. I am not telling you what to choose either! We need to be watchful and understand what on earth is going on around us! We need to be informed!

 

Ref:

http://www.movieguide.org/articles/main/dreamworks-acquires-classics.html