I read all about you today! I can’t imagine how amazing the garden of Eden looked. Was it hot or was it cool? We have rainforests that some people compare the garden of Eden with, boy do I wish I could send you there to see what you think. And all thos animals, tell me what does a Lion’s mane feel like? Are monkeys just as mischievous as they are now? And what does your favorite fruit in the garden taste like? Is it sweet, tangy, or sour? And my biggest question of all, what’s it like to talk to God and have him answer back…immediately…. in an audible voice?All you have to do is call His name and He’s there, talking to you, HOW EXCITING!What does his voice sound like? Is it deep and gruff or is it soft and sweet, like a soft breeze through leaves of a tree? What do you talk about with God? What does he tell you? It must be amazing when He tells you He loves you, He’s your Creator after all. Did you know you and Adam are the only two to ever see what PERFECT looks like. Things aren’t perfect here at all. There are things called volcanoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, tornados, tidal waves AND SNOW…and a lot of snow all at once with heavy winds is called a blizzard…it’s HORRIBLE. Everything but blizzards can destroy whole cities, islands and countries. People run around cities killing each other based on their differences of religions, colors of skin and just because they want to. There are women who have their babies killed while they are still in their bodies, because they look at them as inconveniences or a mistake when God put them there for a purpose. Then those moms years down the road have such great shame and sorrow for their unborn child who never got the chance at life, who never got to see a frog or feel wet grass between their toes or to be tickled…and giggle and giggle and giggle. Eve I know that you felt great shame too. I know that your perfect world was turned upside down when you too made a wrong decision. When you chose to heed the words of the serpent over the words of your Creator God. You are the only woman who has ever seen both sides….the side of perfection and the side of imperfection. From a place of peace, rest, and a complete relationship with God to a place where you experienced true toil, pain in childbirth, true heartache, suffering and an intense sense of lonliness and seperation as you and God and your husband were no longer unified as you once were. You went from complete peace to hardship….and you in effect lost two sons. Cain killed Abel out of jealousy and anger and then Cain was exiled from you. Oh Eve how did you make it through those hard times? What did you learn? Did you grow deeper in your relationship with God? Did you feel as though there was no possible way God could ever love you again because of that mistake you made? If so what got you through? Somedays I feel as though I am not good enough, that I have failed too many times and that God could NEVER use a failure such as me. How can I encourage those who feel as you did and as I do now? I cant wait to talk to you soon, for it’s far sooner than any of us realize!
Have you seen Mom’s Night Out? It’s a movie that released a little over a year ago, right around mothers day. It took us almost a year to see and my darling husband found it at a store and bought it for me……I LOVE THAT MOVIE. Without fail, it makes me cry..Every. Single Time ! No joke and it usually is a different part each time, for it meets me right where I am in that moment.
The title of this blog post comes from that movie, and it is the very thing my husband said to me 4 days ago. I was a bit uncertain about this week. In all honesty I was having second thoughts about the entire idea. My husband had this idea for me a year ago as we were making he decision to place our camper on a permanent lot at a Bible Conference a few hours from home. We had no idea at that time what our lives would look like in a year and let me tell you if I had the choice to live this last year over again, Im not sure I could do it. It’s only by God’s amazing grace that we have made it through with our marriage and family intact and I believe stronger. Im still not ready to post about it, but it IS coming I promise. We were hurt in some horrible ways. Most people who know of our last year are shocked that we are still where we are. And we had no idea that the decision to put our camper at the Bible Conference would lead to such great healing and respite for our family. So here I sit. IN my little retreat I have been completely alone for nearly 36 hours. Im at peace. I am feeling refreshed and renewed and I sill have another 3 1/2 days . I have written and read and studied and blogged. I have rested ….AND BARELY SPOKEN TO ANYONE! I have talked to my husband and kids a few times over the last day on the phone but that is the limit of my conversing. It’s ok Im an introvert. Maybe that’s why I needed this so much.
The premise of needing to putting on my oxygen mask is this…a quote from one of my college profs
And that was the premise behind the overly long observation of the husband in Mom’s Night Out. The dad travels A LOT. So when he FINALLY connected the dots, the idea of the oxygen mask in the airplane resonated with him. you have to help yourself before you can help someone else get their mask on. I needed to take some deep spiritual cleansing breaths before I can tackle another round of insanity.. If I don’t have my relationship with God front and center, how can I possibly give my kids and husband what they need? How can I teach? How can I write to you? My husband knew this line would resonate with me and it did…it made me smile to. he told me ” you need this, and you are going to love it” He was right…..on both counts.
So I want to say THANKS HONEY, for cheering me on to do this, to go beyond my normal, to stretch myself and to feed my soul . and if you happen to be a guy reading this and your wife is looking a little…or a lot frazzled, why don’t you consider a way to encourage her to put on her oxygen mask! and if you are a mom, can I just take a moment to encourage you to take a step back, take a deep refreshing breath and sit at the feet of Jesus. Turn your chair away from the chaos that is where you are and face it to a window. I know what it is to not have the words to say, the tears flow easily and no words come. I know that ache that makes you want to be sick and I want you to know that HE hears the very cry of your heart without uttering One.Single. Sound. he knows and he loves you even in the biggest of messes! Wont you meet him there He’s waiting!
New things…..That is what Life is all about. If you come to a place where you think you know everything that you need to know YOU ARE DONE. you can no longer move forward! You Must be willing to try new things, new methods, new ideas, new ministries. This is where God has been taking me lately its been all about the new. And I have a feeling there is more “new” around the corner but That NEW is for another blog post once I know JUST what that NEW looks like! But for now lets talk about the few new things I’ve been stretched in.
I have often told my husband over the last 12 years that when the time came I would love to donate my time and energy at a Pregnancy center. Well after attending a banquet this spring , that calling became a reality. Hubby ad I both decided it was time. And so for the last two months, pretty much every Wednesday I have been volunteering,, mentoring, building relationships, and doing some cleaning/organizing work as well. My confidence in some areas is very low(for this introverted girl) There are some great moments and some not so great moments that are hard. AND THEN THERE ARE AMZING MOMENTS that make me want to shout from the roof top BUT I can’t, because everything is confidential and in that I am learning to to rejoice back to the Lord, because he knows and is exceedingly happy! In light of the planned Parenthood videos being released, I know that this work is not only saving Physical lives but it is redeeming souls as we introduce the hurting to Jesus. If you really want to see the needs of this world, be willing to go into these hard places….whether it be a pregnancy center, homeless shelter, a safe house, a rehab center, a nursing home a home for the disabled, a hospital. or any other place you can think of. The needs are great, though things may be painful at times reaching out to others and sharing Jesus is HUGE.
Another area that I have been stretch in and learned some new things took place within the last two weeks. Using my gifts and abilities in BIGGER ways and in doing that it is in the public eye more which means learning too to be more tolerant to those who are more critical of my gifts and abilities. God has given us all gifts and abilities to be used, it is our job to grow them…..to figure them out, to fine tune them and then to actually USE them. As a parent is is also my job to see them and to develop them in my children and give my children the opportunity to use their gifts and abilities. For years I have used my artistic abilities in little ways…through homemade cards, scrapbooks, little jewelry projects, gifts and so on, and in recent years I have used to artistic/design abilities to help with a parade float each year. And most recently i(within the last two weeks) My husband and I have built an entire set for VBS. I have NEVER done anything to that scale. It was physically draining BUT Amazing all wrapped into one. And when I was done, I was amazed that I had done it. I couldn’t believe I was capable of such a thing. BUT God is completely responsible. HE gifted me, He gave me the ability I had to just be willing to use those things. I had to be willing to EMBRACE my gifts and talents. Ive endured ridicule for years for “wasting my time” doing “arts and crafts” and by sill”doing little kid” Projects, All of these “little, kid-like” projects I could do for Jesus. These things were hard to hear (especially from friends and family) and I felt rejected, because I liked these things. or that I spent time doing something others didn’t uderstand or that they thought just were a plain waste of time. But in reality God gave me those gifts and if I didn’t use them…even in the little things, it would be a complete waste of resources HE gave me. I would not have been a good steward of those talents. We tend to think of resources as time, materials and money BUT our gifts and abilities fit in there too!
And the next area of stretching is about to happen….its just two short days away and its taking all kinds of Stregth and courage, I just didn’t think I had! My husband encouraged me to take a one week writing break…..a break away from HIM and THE KIDS! I have been a wife for 12 years and a mom for 10. I have never been away from my children more than 48 hours at a time. I manage our crazy schedule. I plan and prep everything, I co-teach Sunday school with my husband. I help in pretty much every are and I am not used to not being involved!. SOO to be so removed and to be focused on myself is not normal and not easy. I have to relinquish shopping for school supplies. Kitty getting fixed, prepping for sunday school class, being apart of a moms group at the VBS program the kids will be attending (not at our church) letting someone else watch our kids during aan AWNA mtg, business mtg and prayer mtg. AND its quite possibly one of my kids MIGHT be ill–.. he had a phantom fever AND is now complaining of a sore throat. Did I mention I haven’t been alone at nighttime in over 12 years…I either have a husband or kids…Im not sure I like this, but I am willing to trust, my husband and God! But this is also two fold. This time will be also to build my writing gift and ability, working towards a book. That is going to be hard, fighting distractions…like bed. I won’t have TV and I have set some very lofty goals for the week. Can I meet them all. I have a feeling I can…if I am very focused and VERY diligent, but its still HUGE test ! (NOTE: I wrote that thought Two days ago…and now here I sit ALONE. It’s weird, no kids to kids club, no hubby sitting next to me in church or standing in the pulpit preaching, No kids begging to go to the pool, playground or to ride their bikes)
Another amazing opportunity That has stetted me and taught me MANY new things is Working as a Part of the RAISING GENERATIONS TODAY CONFERENCE Embrace team. I have learned oodles upon oodles of things about social media…and I know I have a whole lot more to learn. I haven’t mastered many areas and new options are added all the time…Like the most recent…Periscope, cool idea but a whole new level. I have learned through this how to schedule posts for FB (Yeah That was aBIG blunders on my part at the beginning)) and using the Buffer app on my iPad to schedule twitter posts…and there is the idea of writing twitter posts…and keeping within the 145 characters, all while tagging the company, adding a link AND a photo. It takes some Mad skills…Im nowhere close to having them, but with each and every post I gain new confidence and understanding .(click on the pic below to check out RGT….This is NOT an affiliate link)
All of these things sound great but besides my own benefit it helps my children Immensely to see me struggle in areas Im not good at. It helps them to see me accomplish something difficult and to conquer it, AND to ask for help. So many times kids think they need to have it all together, that they need to be perfect and that they need to be good at everything. They also need to see my husband and I are willing to stretch ourselves, to go beyond what we are comfortable with…AND to FAIL. Yes sometimes we fall flat on our faces. They NEED to see us get back up, dust ourselves off AND TRY AGAIN! Then we as parents need to be willing to talk about all of those things…the good, the ugly AND the Painful!. (Obviously age appropriateness applies here) In reality the entire family can benefit from mom and dad stepping out in faith, trusting God to grow their gifts and abilities and try new and sometimes scary things.
So what are some NEW things that you are growing in? Are you having a willing spirit or are you dragging your feet kicking and screaming the whole way? What would you like to learn?
So i told you in my last post that we have been at camp…a Bible Conference where our camper now calls home. This specific Bible Conference has earned a nickname based on its real name and the end is changed to SOGGY…..that has defined MOST of our vacation…..S-O-G-G-Y, and today spawned some UNEXPECTED torrential downpours and thunderstorms. It has been extremely warm, so we went to the pool, which was wonderful, but then Rose and I went to the shower house. On the way I noted some VERY ominous looking clouds. As Rose finished her shower it started to rain, first a few little drops, which got a little harder and a little harder and then WHAM! and a few minutes later BLACKNESS. yep NO power at all. Rose and I prayed that God would lighten the rain so we could walk back to the camper but 2 minutes later the familiar rumble of the diesel engine of my knight and shining armor’s Thundering stallion echoed off the shower house walls and my heart lept. sure enough….this pulled up next to the shower house
WHAT A BLESSING!
and what a lesson in love to our daughter……and to our sons. They rode along with daddy to “RESCUE” mommy and sister in the pouring rain, and thunder and lightening AND the darkness. they could have stayed in the nice dry camper and just waited for us. but instead they braved the elements and came to our rescue. such a simple statement, such a little thing….maybe to you on the outside looking in, but its all those little gestures that turn into HUGE statements of love AND care! Thank you LOVE!
and as I look back over my life I think about all the “little” rescues And the not so little rescues our Heavenly Father has done for us. it’s not just chance. All of the basketball teams bags out of a burning van? not chance…..NO ONE saw ANYONE get them out. A sudden unanimous vote to stop less than a half an hour into a trip back home-then the van bursts into flames? NOT a coincidence. two pastor friends moving half way across the state, to two different churches, to live 30 minutes away from each other and one of the pastors goes through something horrible and the other is there to help pick up the pieces, …….the right amount of money showing up at the right time to finish off a college payment so no loan will be needed, a deer strategically standing in the middle of the road, she never moves as you apply your brakes and slow up as you crest the hill. at the bottom of the hill is black ice and your vehicle fishtails…had you not slowed down for the deer the fishtail could have turned devastating…on Christmas eve.10 minutes from your destination.
God loves us so much ad i often wonder how much we don’t see. The things listed about have all happened to me. NONE of them are coincidence…NOT. A. ONE. There are so many areas in which we think nothing of and yet, when the big stuff happens it surprises us. WHY? Why do we think its unusual for God to show up in miraculous ways, to love us in BIG ways?
Are there ways in which God has shown up in your life…..In Big or little ways? (HINT the little ways are really HUGE when you start adding them all up!) Share them in the comments!
I think it all happens to the best of us. It happened to me just now.
Today my son has an eye appointment. He NEEDS new glasses…DESPERATELY and his school did something new this year. The LIONS club came in with a pretty nifty machine and tok pictures of his eyes with his glasses on, from there they get a print out with his eye pictures and they can tell numerous things. like….
1. how bad his lazy eye has gotten
2. his astigmatism and the severity
3. and how much off his prescription is and what it now needs to be.
No reading charts. No covering eyes and for anybody with a little kid you know just how challenging this is and add into it the fact this particular little boy has special needs- YEAH it’s fun. Then they send home the print out so you can take it to your eye dr. Well this momma has been holing onto these papers for 3 months. I knew EXACTLY where they were, that is until this morning! I went right to the spot. an expandable file right inside my planning notebook…and they WERNT there! AHHHH!
Panic ensued, my brain went ballistic, what on earth could I have done with them? I looked every where. Nothing I went back to the notebook 3 more times. I prayed “Lord you know exactly where they are show me.” All the while trying to keep that same little boy on task, looking for sneakers (I accidentally threw one of those in the washer…Ooops-no worries though it was now in the dryer…DRE|IED!) after he left I methodically went through everything still muttering the above prayer, my spirit calmed and piece by piece I went through the papers on reserve for important things. and finally I came to the last little stack. The one that was in that expandable file. The one I had already looked through 4 times. and there, just where I left it, where I knew it was , were the papers., RIGHT WHERE I LEFT THEM to be safe.
I could have complained and lost my cool. I could have jumped to conclusions and accused any number of things on someone else but instead I turned to Jesus. It takes a lot of practice. I used to be that person of blaming others and truth be told that same person rears its old self every once in a while.
Why turn to Jesus in the little things? Why is it that important to practice this? Well 3 days ago I caught a glimpse of the answer. or at least 1 of the answers…..My hubby and oldest son went out to the garage and found our barn cat Helix had died sometime within the last 12 hours. Now if you remember back in March we lost our faithful dog Daffy for some unknown reason and it devastated our family so this was quite a blow especially to our daughter who had a very unique relationship with him. He would let her carry him around like a baby.
