I am so Excited. This week marks the beginning of Inkrober. It is my third year participating in this fun daily exercise is getting better and challenging yourself to do the daily prompt.
It’s amazing just how much your skill gets better over the 31 days. You can get as simple or as elaborate as you want. the point is that you at least draw everyday so you can work towards making it a habit.
So how does this fit here? Well in the spirit of Choosing Courage I am going to share my progress here each week. Right here as A Time to Play post.
And in the spirit of the challenge I thought I would share with you some of my favorites from last years #inkrober
Last years Faves
Now these aren’t in any particular order- I know which is the last one I did though. Most of my art from last year was mostly in black and white as I was super busy. And just took the time to focus on the drawing. Now you don’t need to follow the prompt list either. In the past when I was first beginning I tried my hand at a couple of different drawing and made my own prompt list and almost all of my drawings were colored in. My schedule looked different then,
That big black splotch in the middle of the crater is NOT a part of the drawing- Just an FYI.
This was my last picture of inktober last year- It’s the only one that is completely colored. When I finished uploading it to Instagram I knew it wasn’t going to stay blackened white. I had been learning some alcohol marker techniques and I was excited to try them out. I can definitely see a difference in the technique from the first few characters to the last ones I did. (I used #Ohuhu mArkers and I used Artist loft and Micron Fineliners
This years Prompt list
You can totally follow along with me each day by going and checking out my instagram
You can also follow the Inktober hashtag on Instagram .
Thanks for joining me for todays Choosing Courage post. You can check out all the other posts by clicking here.
I Expected something different to happen when I chose the word intentional for the year. I think I nailed down my word for 2021 way back in September or October of 2020.
I knew somethings needed to change in how I was approaching life…..not that it was bad but I had lost myself (more on that on Wednesday next week) and with it had went my purpose. I still clung to it but it was hard to see. Something else had gotten in the way…SURVIVAL.
It’s hard to be intentional and in Survival Mode all at the same time
When we hit survival mode we are doing sometimes the bare minimum. We are kicking our legs in the proverbial swimming pool of life trying to stay afloat. Being intentional is rooted in a very strong sense of purpose. I knew what my purpose was I just Couldn’t seem to connect the dots. I was just on auto pilot all the time.
Now some of this feeling or sense of auto-pilot and exhaustion was most certainly linked to the ticking time bomb that was very quickly growing in my belly. And when it had reached it’s full capacity and needed to be dealt with I had chosen to be very intentional with Christmas. I laid out all these really cool plans and we intentionally built in family time and serving another family. BUT……that isn’t what my focus ended up being. God used that medical emergency to teach me another form of intentionality. REST and FOCUS.
Intentional REST and FOCUS
Intentional rest was going to become the necessity over the next 9 months because the medical journey was really only beginning. Rest was going to be required and I was going to need to learn to listen to my body. I couldn’t just fly into auto-pilot and do all he things now. My iron levels plummeted. I needed to be able to have a new intentional focus.
That focus was learning out to think beyond the anxiety that was becoming my new normal. At first we thought it was just related to the medical trauma that had happened but as the doctor delved deeper into blood work we started noticing that my iron levels never reached a “normal level”. Now back in December I had learned this intentional focus on a whole new level. Pain and Fear.
Pain
Pain was now a new part of my life and I am not talking about ouch a sprained my toe. It was a new level of pain…..pain that surpassed labor…..surpassed the never ending pain of a gallbladder issue and left me pretty close to the edge of insanity. I kept telling hubby at least for the labor you have a break (sometimes) between contractions. This was intense constant and really the narcotics didn’t touch it.
I really had to practice focusing on the truths I know about God and his promises. It was the only way I could make it through and it was going to be the only way I could handle the fears that would bombard me in the coming months.
Fears
The fears would race through my head as my heart began racing….and the anxiety kicked in. Faster and faster my heart would feel like it was in a race but I was laying flat on my back. My mind would take off trying to outrun my heart. Irrational fears would join the race and my body felt out of control. Something had to change and fast.
I began to learn about iron deficiency and anemia. I was making intentional choices about what I was putting into my body. I have become an unintentional expert in what foods were rich in iron. I have made some of the craziest things to eat/ drink but nothing was working. In the midst of all of that I learned something very powerful. one of the side effects of iron deficiency is AXIETY and heart racing.
Knowing this made a powerful impact on the sometimes hourly struggles I was now having. I could be even more intentional in the thoughts when they started spinning out of control!
Letting Go intentionally
If you read yesterday’s post we all struggle with letting Go. And I came face to face with letting Go in March. As we made our final decision to leave hubby’s ministry position of 12 years, I had to make a very intentional choice of letting go. I could have held on tightly to some of the things I had to let go of. But I learned a long time ago told hold things with an open hand. It’s way worse if God has to pry our fingers open and remove whatever we are holding onto.
I have watched people hold onto things and not let go as they exited ministry. It hurt so many people. And the ministry and I knew I had to be intentional about leaving. It was hard very hard. But in the end there was a sense of closure for both us and the people we were letting Go of!.
Other Intenionalities
Along the way I have also had to be intentional in so many other ways.
Intentional:
prayer- praying for hard things. It might mean seeing hurtful things happen but if it helps people to get back in a right relationship with Jesus
purpose-keeping my eye on what I am called and gifted to do rather than just filing in gaps .
gratitude
attention
boundaries
fun
writing/blogging
reading
family time
listening
planning
balance
no’s
yes’
So what I thought would turn out to be a year of choosing intentional time morphed into intentional everything.
How about you? Have you made a choice to be more intentional in a certain area only to be taken on a journey of intentionality..
I’m so glad that you joined me for day 41 of Choosing Courage 100 day blogging project. If you are just joining in you can check out the first post here. And if you have missed any of the other posts you can check them out here.
One book that has helped greatly in having Intentional thoughts is Get Out of Your Head by Jennie Allen You can Check her out here
Letting Go. I don’t know about you but it is probably the thing I have done most in my life. And it got even more intense as a mom. When our kids learned to walk we had tp let go. And they had to let go, but letting go is TERRIFYING.And as kids get older it gets worse.
It was so difficult to let go of my oldest son at age 12when hubby told me I had to let him go…..to the lake to go fishing by himself. I should preface this by saying it was a Christian camp where our family is very well known and there was very little traffic and he was a fairly responsible child and a pretty good swimmer.
Letting Go as they get older
I have to chuckle because at that moment of letting Go at 12 seemed so huge, but it’s been 4 years. Yep He’s 16 and yep he has his learners permit. It was a few days of struggle letting him get behind the wheel. But see I have been practicing! That moment at age 12 was really serving the purpose of getting ready for this moment and this moment is preparing me for one day down the road for another letting go moment. I am soooo grateful that this is how God has it set up…..Baby Steps. Hmmmm interesting that that’s how the very first moments of letting go are- baby steps. Mommy’s ad daddy’s need to let their little ones go. Yes they may tumble but we cheer them on to get up and keep going.
And babies need to let go of the furniture they are cruising around . It’s the first step in a long line of letting go.
Hello 2021
Hindsight is 2020 (I know that was last year) but looking back I had no concept that this year was going to be a year long process of learning to let go. .
I have let go of
confort
friends
miistry
fears
balance
ideals (this has been a theme for a LONG time- you would think I would have learned my lesson by now )
promises
committements others made
hurts, frustrations
the past
normal
time
energy
time like I once knew it
Now before you assume you know what I am talking about – I will guaruntee you don’t Most of these things surprised me I wasn’t expecting any of these things.
I wish I could tell you that letting go has gotten easier over the years…for some things it has but for others- nor so much. A lot of his has to do with preparing your heart and being willing to trust God with it all We can have peace. Not that it’s easier but we can trust. AND Letting Go is one of the biggest displays of our faith in God – when we trust him that he has it all under control!
Have you ever had a season of learning to let go? What was the hardest part?
I’M SO GLAD YOU JOINED ME FOR DAY 40 OF MY CHOOSING COURAGE 100 DAY WRITING PROJECT!
In case you missed them you can catch up on the other posts here
Good morning friends! When I stumbled upon this Dare back in December I was going through a time of real struggle when I was seriously having trouble being grateful. I found myself being grateful for the same thing over and over again. Coffee…..coffee…coffee…sunshine (not that there was much in December here in upstate New York) and a few other things. I’m not saying that it’s bad to be grateful for the same things over and over again, but sometimes we have tunnel vision and we lose sight of all the other blessings God has given to us. And then I “just happened” to stumble upon this Dare while scrolling through Pinterest. I had already read Ann Voskamp’s Book One Thousand gifts so I was intrigued. I checked out all the images and I was certain this is what I needed When I chose this challenge for this year I had no idea what the rest of the year held BUT God did!
Are you willing…..
So I want to ask you are you willing To take this Dare? The great thing is- you don’t have to commit to the full year! You can just start with one month AND you can start Any time! It really is so simple and it changes your perspective! I Dare you to take this challenge~
Day 17- 3 Gifts Ugly Beautiful
gloomy gray skies-so sad yet intriguing
broken lives changed by Jesus- amazing
Dying fields- turning brown- yet there is a beautiful fall aesthetic
Day 18- A Gift fixed, folded, freckled
fixed-Hubby putting LED light fixtures in my craft room
folded- clothes that are folded in the Cedar Chest for the future
freckled-Kiddo’s #4’s freckled face!
Day 19- 3 gifts In Conversation
Conversations with my prayer team this week
Conversations with our future Bible study leader
Hubby had a very encouraging conversation with a friend in ministry
Day 20- 3 gifts in Salvation
Grace
Hope
Peace
Day 21- 3 gifts in information
Books
Podcasts
Conferences
Day 22- 3 Gifts rattling, receding, redeemed
Rattled- my emotions this week as I have continually come face to face with some hard realities and broken relationships (not mine but ones of close friends-it’s hard to watch)
Receding- a falling away- it hurts to see. it’s painful to watch
redeemed- Countless stories that I can name right now where God took brokenness and turned them into something beautiful. He redeemed those moments for His Glory
Day 23- 3 gifts in silence
early mornings
Outside devotions
spare moments stolen away in my craft room
I’m so glad you came by for the Joy Dare this week and I’m praying You all have a fabulous week full of gratitude and Joy!
And how about You what have you found joy in this week?
For more Joy Dare posts click here and for more Choosing Courage Posts click here.
To Check out The Joy Dare and One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp click here.
Good morning all! So quick question. Can you guess what my greatest Joy is? This is one of those blog post ideas that I had once upon a time and I wrote down this great idea (a title) and no other details! UGH! Yes I have learned from my mistake But each week as I read through my post idea list this one almost taunts me. Coming out of a season where I had to be super intentional about my gratitude and having to REALLY hone in my sights to what brings me true joy- I struggled to remember what laid behind this blog post. That is until this Sunday.
So what makes something the “GREATEST”
When I think of “the greatest”. I think about the absolute best And coming out of the Olympic season we heard the term GOAT. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why on earth it was a compliment to be called a GOAT…..that is I finally put two and two together and realized it stood for “Greatest Of All Time”. AHA but as the Olympics continued on we began to see that GOATs weren’t perfect. They might be considered the Best in the world (at that time) but it didn’t mean they were perfect.
Since Sunday and realizing and remembering what my greatest joy is I kept coming back to this word perfect. Greatest does not equal perfect. Jesus is my perfect joy- I get so much joy from Him….and that is where my greatest joy stems from.
I took a step forward
But not like you might be thinking. I was in the middle of praising Jesus and all of a sudden a thought came to mind. So I took a tiny step forward and glanced down our row of chairs. And what I saw and heard struck the deepest sense of joy I have felt in a long time. And all I had to do is LOOK. I didn’t have t do anything. I didn’t need to get anything. I just needed to pay attention. And then in that moment my reason for putting that post title came flooding back….
What I saw…and heard
Looking to my left and right I saw 4 kids who were worshipping Jesus in their own way…without any reservation. They weren’t being judged they were in their own spaces one on one lifting the name of their Savior in song You could tell it was personal. AND THAT brought me my greatest joy and made me praise Jesus all the more.
And as that welled up in my soul, thoughts came flooding back- of a teenager asking me (very sheepishly) if I could read the Bible with her. Or another teenager asking if I would go forward with her at a youth conference. Seeing tears flow down her faces she prayed which in turn made me ugly cry because I had been praying for this girl for oh so long.
To see a group of 17 teenagers- boys and girls embrace and love each other like I have never seen any other group of humans ever do. Such different backgrounds….such different experiences….such different economic backgrounds…encourage each other lift each other up…and just care. Yes they had their moments of disagreement but that was rare.
To watch on any given Sunday morning a herd of children run up to new kids and invite them to “come play with us in the gym”. To swallow up the new ones, it wasn’t an exclusive club for these kids. They wanted to include everyone because they themselves had been included.
Teens who would share their deepest burdens of their hearts because they felt safe.
Women who were honest about where they were at- tears shed as they shared their broken places.
And then I remembered – my Greatest Joy WAS perfect every single time-
Changed Lives- It didn’t matter how it happened or how messy it was. When people were honest with themselves and really let Jesus change them- there is nothing better (except for seeing them all in heaven someday.)
BUT My greatest Joy is also linked to my greatest sorrow
This was a harsh reality for me Monday and I am not going to lie all of the emotions that flooded my soul was rough. I was angry I was sad I was disappointed. I was crushed.
I’m not going to tell you what happened but I will give you a breakdown…..
selfishness (putting oneself before others)
mistreatment of others
a limiting of grace to someone else (the idea that You only deserve this much …………because of………….)
Rejection
judging
The list could go on. There was this realization that people aren’t willing to change.. They know what is right and wrong. They can even verbalize it BUT they are unwilling to let that change them. Their hearts are hard. They think they are entitled, They make an exclusive club and they limit God’s grab for certain people. THAT is my greatest sorrow because that isn’t what God teaches in his word.
Jesus says “Love your Neighbor as yourself”
We ask “who is our neighbor?” looking for a specific easy to love group of people -mostly the ones just like us.
Jesus answers EVERYONE.
We don’t get to pick and choose who get’s love, grace and mercy. But we tend to think that we get to be that judge. We don’t. we are commanded to (to quote NIKE) -“JUST DO IT”
And at the end of the day
My realization was this
I’m glad Jesus doesn’t treat us like this.
that I am called to be like Jesus so I need to treat people like Jesus treats me
It’s not my job to withhold grace mercy and love- it’s my job to lavishly give it out- just like those kids. who didn’t see backgrounds, color, economic standing , or anything else for that matter
I need to die to self and put others before myself
I need to not just take in the information from God’s word I need to apply it . And Not just bits and pieces that make me comfortable
It’s not about what is easy for me. It’s not about my time, my money, my strength. It’s about serving Jesus with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength- REALLY my whole life- not holding anything back. It’s not about Convenience. (It wasn’t easy or convenient for Jesus to die on the cross)
All of this from a bunch of teenagers and a bunch of kids. Oh how we have lost sight of what is most important. I promise you if you can learn these lessons from children you too will experience the greatest Joy because it’s not MY greatest Joy- It’s Jesus’!!!!!
Thanks for joining me for Day 38 of my Choosing Courage 100 day blogging project. If you are new here you can check out this blog post that explains it all.
And if you have fallen behind or missed some posts you can check it out here
