Meet the Team

Posted on by Mary
Team

Happy Wednesday Friends! I have been waiting on the edge of my seat for almost two weeks to introduce you to my prayer team. In reality, these sweet women have been praying for me a lot longer than when I asked them to join me on my journey. They are the only other 2 people on this website who I will use their real first names. This is just another baby step in me letting go of the “mental chess game” I have been struggling with for some time. And in giving up the game I am going to share about these two very special ladies. I can honestly tell you that without them the 100 Days of Choosing Courage blogging project I did this past August-November would have never been finished!

Why A Team

We were never meant to do life alone. We were made to need each other. This is something that God has been teaching hubby and I for some time now. It is why we chose the church we chose. It’s not just about just having a team either. It’s about having the right team. One that loves unconditionally and cares for each other and seeks the others best interests and growth over their own.

Who they are

Meet Beth and Steph! These two women! they amaze me. Each of them has quite the stories of their own. The really held me up last December when my health was turned on its ear. They checked in, they sent encouraging texts, and really listened when I was struggling.

Beth has been a LONG TIME friend of hubby’s family. Beth’s two sons played with Hubby and his brother at the same bible conference we have attended for many years. And now Her grandkids and our kids run and play in the same places their dad did over 20 years ago. Beth and I have connected deeply while at the Bible conference and our friendship has just grown over the last number of years. When hubby and I told her and her hubby that he was resigning from his position they came to us and we had lunch and talked. If ever I’ve had an iron sharpening iron friendship this is it!

Steph and I have been friends since college albeit not as close as we are now. We reconnected through a mutual friend and our friendship has grown deeper as well. We have kids the same age. Our families have a great time together and Steph has been a real light in some struggles we can often be found texting each other about some insanity one of our crazy children has done! A few times she has talked me off the ledge of frustration.

Why a prayer team

BECAUSE I NEED A LOT OF PRAYER! Actually, I was chatting with another friend who is another author and she mentioned she had a prayer team. We talked about what that looked like and the why. That was a number of years ago and I was not in the place to have such a thing. There is A LOT that goes into this but it just wasn’t the time.

Fast forward to this past August when I attended the Global Leadership Summit with hubby. To say I was sick at the time was an understatement Anxiety was an all-day everyday experience I was barely functioning on extremely low iron. Actually, the second day of the conference started out with my first iron infusion But during that conference, I heard a speaker talk about her 100 days of facing her fears. AND AT THAT MOMENT I KNEW…I had to face a fear…YES, ONE…..BLOGGING! weird right? I have been blogging for this insane amount of time and I was afraid of it. Well, that’s because I have been roughly criticized by people who I counted as friends. Those hurts caused me to nearly quit but I have this pretty amazing hubby who wouldn’t let me do that. Enter more mental Chess.

Actually, I had to face two fears. I knew I was going to need accountability and that was going to require me asking someone….and EVERY other time that happened it ended with me getting hurt HORRIBLY. To say I had trust issues is an understatement.

So I prayed and asked God who could serve as a prayer partner for this journey I was about to undertake. Steph was the first person I would ask and then a few weeks later I would add Beth. I created a text thread that introduced the two of them and the rest is history.

The Journey

I cannot tell you the number of times I hit a roadblock and one of the two of them OR BOTH would text me and tell me what the last post had meant to them. It would give me the shot in the arm I needed to keep going.

If I happened to be struggling with a topic or something I could shoot some thoughts off of them. And when that journey ended in November we still kept in contact via that text thread and we still shared prayer requests frustrations and other things.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. I had a rather nerve-wracking meeting scheduled for a Tuesday morning. God had really made some things come to the forefront in my life and it needed to be dealt with as much I didn’t want to. I needed prayer. I knew Hubby would be praying for me but I knew that I needed o contact Steph and Beth and asked them to do the same. And they said they would…..but they like the amazing friends they are didn’t leave it there! They checked in later that night.

AND ALL I HAD TO SAY WAS……

“I wish I could have coffee with the two of you.” Their response was Let’s make it happen and within 10 minutes we had a date time and place. And this past Friday it happened. Steph and Beth had never met each other. It was amazing. I had never had something like that happen. And I spilled my guts. They listened. They loved, We laughed and we grew together. They know there are going to be some challenging posts coming down the line. I don’t know when. But I know that I can count on them to pre-read and pray me through and help me fight off the mental chess games I apparently love to play.

When It comes down to it these two ladies have challenged me to be the best me I can be. When I asked them to take on this role I had no idea what path I was going to head down next. I am a fairly content person. I am not looking for the next cliff to leap off of because we ALL know how I feel about Heights!! ACK!

But as We wrapped up Friday’s meeting I had something rolling in my head. Back in September Beth had read one of my Posts “When You Lose Yourself” and she said she thought it would work great as a book chapter (Beth has known for a long time that this is a HUGE dream that not very many people know about). She said she felt like it was the beginning of a book….and as I sit here re-reading that post I am dumbfounded. She saw something I didn’t and now….now I have more to add..more I didn’t know or maybe understand before

As a matter of fact, as I have sat here scrolling the text messages over the last 8 months a lot has happened. God really is so amazing at how he orchestrates things.

Thank you Ladies

Thank you for embarking on this wild journey that NONE of us fully understand we are on!

Thank you for dropping everything for me!

Thank you for your shining example of friendship and Jesus’ unconditional love.

Thanks for checking in!

Thanks for reading!

Thank you for making me laugh!

Thanks for helping me become a better Jesus follower and communicator!

And most of all thank you for praying!!!

Dear Weary Mom: They Grow Up Far Too Fast 2.0

Posted on by Mary

I wrote this Dear Weary Mom post in January 2014. We had 4 kids ranging from almost 4 to 8 years old. I BLINKED!!!!! It’s been 10 years!!!

10 SUPER FAST YEARS!

In that original post I talked about them overcoming some hard things in 2013. To be honest I have NO IDEA what those hard things were because what I didn’t know when I penned those words was nothing held a candle to what was going to happen in September of 2014.

Hindsight is always 2020. As I look back over that post and I see the realization that “God has taught me to love my little sinners for who they are…not who I want them to become” Was the groundwork that was being laid to help my children through the mess that would consume us some 9 months later.

It’s good for us to document these things. So we can see how God led us or carried us through the sometimes thick muck of life. It’s why God instructed the Israelites to set up stones of remembrance. So they didn’t forget where they had come from…..and what God had brought them through.

Now my kids are 14 through 18. We are entering new phases of life almost everyday now it seems. Today I find myself weary not from hard things at the moment but busyness that 4 active teenagers bring. Sports, worship team practice, friendships, acts of service, jobs and all the things that come from a graduating senior life speeds by. The realizations that I will have a graduating senior every year for the next three years is not lost on me and that makes me feel WEARY.

I’m so incredibly thankful for that lesson 10 years ago to meet them where they are. It’s something I try to hold onto each and everyday.

Even in my weariness of all the busyness and happy chaos. (and sometimes the not so happy chaos) I know that Jesus is the hope that gets me through.

You can check out all my Dear Weary Mom posts here.

This post series is based on a book called Hope for the Weary Mom. This book literally saved me from myself. It’s words of hope and truth from God’s word helped me to be the mom I am today!

Beth: Powerfully Influential Woman #4

Posted on by Mary
Beth

Hi Friends! You have met Beth before in this post. Beth is a part of my prayer team for this blog and my ministry. I met Beth at my wedding ..NO JOKE!

She has been friends with my hubby’s family for literally decades!

Actually they met at a Bible Conference in western NYthat we have frequented throughout our marriage as wellHubby and his brother along with Beth’s two sons played together and became friends at that Bible Confernce

A number of years ago we puled our camper into a seasonal parking spot ta the same Bible Conferenceand were delighted to learn that Beth and her hubby had their camper across the road from ours.

Something MAGICAL happened!

A third generation of friendships blossomed. Beth and I embraced it! We planned special weeks with fun activities like tye-dyiing t shirts, games, Snipe hunts (that’s for another day- or google it) but the most fun was had when it poured rain and they just were able to be kids!

Beth and I had been connecting for years but as the kids got closer so did Beth and I. We’ve really enjoyed our friendship!

When I got sick a year and a Half agoand subsequently when we decided to leave our long term ministry positionBeth was one of the few people I called! She and her hubby cared so deeply for hubby and I that they made the trip to come see us, hear our hearts and just be there for us! They were such a great encouragement to us in such a dark time.

What made Beth so influencial?

She was real!I knew that she really loved me and my family!I knew she wasn’t going to judge and she wasn’t going to make it all about her! Beth et me share my struggles and my raw emotions. She spoke truth!

I chuckle to myself because I originally thought , Oh this is just an annomaly–the problem is I had always done this stuff for people but I never really had friends that did this for me. This may have been the first time but it definitely wasn’t the last!

It happened again this past March! All I had to say was I need you guys and she and my other prayer team member were there. I know that I can reachout and within a few hours they will respond and pray. She’s willing to share from her life but is so careful not to make it all about her.

NOW THAT’S A GODLY INFLUENCE!!

How About you?

Who can you call and count on? Who will come to your aid? Let me kknow in the comments below!

You Can Check out more #31days2022 authors here!

#31days2018

#31days2021

Hello and Welcome!!!

Posted on by Mary
Welcome

HELLO Myy name is Mary and welcome to my little place on the internet, I have been blogging here for about 7 years BUT I have been blogging in general for 15 years! YIKES. Feel free to poke around and get to know my home on the internet.

So who am I?

Like I said I’m Mary- I am in my 40’s. I am married to my red-head hubby and this May we will celebrate 19 years of marriage! We have 4 kids ages 16, 15, 14, and soon to be 12. It goes boy, girl, boy, boy.

We are an animal family too. We currently have 3 dogs and 3 cats and I know horses are in our near future.

I am a Christ follower. This is the single most important part of my life. Because if my relationship with Jesus isn’t first and foremost, the other areas of my life will and have suffered when I lose sight of that priority.

My purpose in life is to make God famous -to bring Him glory in everything I say and do. I’m human and I make mistakes. I fall short but the amazing thing about God is he is full of grace and mercy, He wants me to grow and learn from my mistakes. I am his creation!

And I am a pastor’s wife. Yep my hubby is in full time ministry. As much as this doesn’t define me it is an intragal part of who I am. We just left a ministry we were in for 12 years and accepted a position at the very church we have been attendiing since we left…..it was a God thing for sure and wasn’t on our radar! God really is amazing!

Let’s get a little deeper

I write for 3 reasons

  • For my sanity- I love to write. I have been writing little stories and poems and journaling for as long as I can remember..
  • It really helps me to process th things I am struggling with vs. what I am learning about. I am an avid reader, and sometimes the things I am reading hits a deep . And I become very passionate. Because I want to live a life of excellence in how I live for and serve God.
  • For the growth of others. My thought is, if I’m struggling with something I know I’m not alone. My goal is to help other women grow right along with me.

I am passionate about living with God-fidence…..as in confidence in God, rather than myself. I can’t do anything. I’m a flawed human being who has been saved by Jesus and it’s only through him that I can do anything!

I’m passionate about having a godly influence. So mach so that I have written a HUGe series on the Power of Your influence here in my blog and I have spoken to a group of women on the topic as well. I am a firm believer that we are all influencers whether we like it or not, it’s a matter of WHAT KIND of influence we are. You can check that series out here. (there are 2 sets ones from 2018 and ones from 2021)

I am slo passionate about living a life of excellence for Jesus. Now this has been a struggle for me personally over the last number of years. And even though it has been a struggle for me and I have fallen short doesn’t mean I can’t be passionate about it. Sometimes our greatest struggles are born out of our passion. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not confuse excellence with perfection!

Some fun facts about me

I (am)

  • an introvert- but that doesn’t mean I’m not a little weird or quirky. and that I can’t get upon front of people and speak
  • kinda a nerd…yeah I’m completely ok with that!
  • a creative…..in a whole bunch of ways
  • have been on a journey of learning how to paint…not very good but I love the process
  • have been a missionary as a fresh out of high school graduate and went half way around the world…which was also my first time on a plane
  • did I mention I’m afraid of heights
  • enjoy reading (I think I already said that)
  • want to write a book (can you guess the topic?)
  • know that I have a very specific calling for helping women and girls to bridge the generation gap.
  • passionate about women’s ministry
  • have been a mentor at a Crisis Pregnancy center
  • directed more plays than I have fingers
  • helped build/ design parade floats
  • served on a women’s conference planning team
  • have been a book reviewer for major Christian publishing company
  • have been legally blind since I was 13
  • We have two special needs kids
  • loved to play basketball
  • Heath bars are my favorite candy bars
  • love to cook
  • was a tomboy.
  • have eaten silkworm…..and liked it
  • have used a squatty potty and it’s not the type advertised by a cute unicorn
  • took every wood-working class available to me at my middle and high school
  • enjoy learning new things. BUT it takes me forever to actually take the next step to actually try the new thing.
  • am a planner
  • actually like public speaking (remember I said I was weird and quirky)

My purpose

So now that you have gotten to know me a little better here’s my purpose

Hebrews 10:24 NLT

24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.

So let’s join in community. …..

to fulfill that purpose!

This isn’t just about me! I want this to be a safe place for us to grow together and help each other…So join in the discussion in the comments or you can check out my blog’s facebook page.

It’s my goal to make that usable and if you like the page you can get updated when I add a new blog post.

Thank you so much for checking out this post and my blog. I hope and pray for you my readers that these posts will meet you where you are ate! I hope you feel welcome, loved and seen.

Let’s get started together! You can start by introducing yourself in the comments below!

Negativity: Negative Influence Trait #2

Posted on by Mary
Negativity

Let me ask you a question…Are you a Negative Nancy? (I’m NOT saying all Nancys are negative. I have some wonderful “Nancys ” who have impacted my life so positively!)

You know the type of person I am talking about- the person who can always find a reason to be negative or down on something. Now there are two types of Negative Nancys. The first type is down on everyone else and the second type has lost all hope- the have just given up.- they are down on themselves or their circumstances.

Negative Nancy #1

I sat in a room full of women and we were brainstorming community outreach ideas. I sat and looked around the room at these hopeful happy women who chatted noisily over lunch- and then the meeting started.

I watched women enthusiastically share ideas that they had come prepared with to show love to our community and I also sat there and watched one woman shoot each idea down. I watched the air get sucked out of the room. It was like a gutt punch to each woman and before long I had silence. The faces on all the women had changed and the general attitude was how much longer til we can leave.

As I sat there watching all this take place the woman finally took a deep breath and then shared what she “wanted”. She wanted a big impactful ministry. She wanted recognition. (Her words not mine). I am all about big and impactful but there was a whole lot of I and me in what I was hearing.

What got in the way? Pride. And in the process she negatively influenced every person in that room. You could see the hurt in the eyes of every person she shot down and you could see the fear of the others who would no longer be willing to share because they didn’t want to be shot down.

What Should have happened?

For the most part as we chatted all the women in that room encouraged one another their respective ideas. Being an encouragement and building each other up is a sign that joy is in the hearts of believers. Encouragement is what we are called to do. (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Romans 14:19, Ephesians 4:2)

Choosing to shoot down every idea before we could tease it out was not beneficial and harmed other people …You know what, t as much as I have thought about this situation I cannot remember for the life of me what we decided to do that day. All I remember was the sick feeling that I left with.

What should have happened was true team building- encouragement, iron sharpening iron. We should have remembered our common purpose. We should have kept that at the forefront as we sought to reach out into our community.

A song that captures the attitude

A number of years ago I heard this song as I was preparing for a big event. And it changed my outlook and it set my focus on a very specific purpose. TobyMac’s song “Steal My Show” became my anthem. It’s not about me- it’s about making God famous. Sometimes I fail though. Sometimes I lose sight of that and do you know what song comes rushing back to reset my perspective- You got it! This one.

Another cold night
Another late flight
It’s almost show time and Diverse city’s waiting on me
We’ve got a packed house
The crowd is calling out
They want the beat to drop but what we really need is youIf you wanna steal my show
I’ll sit back and watch you go
If you got something to say
Go on and take it away
Need you to steal my show
Can’t wait to watch you go oh oh oh
So take it awaySo now the crowd is hyped
That you showed up tonight
Anticipating, craving something more than smoke and lights
So I’ll step out the way
I’ll give you set a stage
Alright, spotlight, give ’em what they came forIf you wanna steal my show
I’ll sit back and watch you go
If you got something to say
Go on and take it away
Need you to steal my show
Can’t wait to watch you go oh oh oh
So take it awayWhen you arrive
We come to life
Our hearts collide, they’re beating in the same time
You’re coming through
All eyes on you
Our hearts collide, they’re beating in the same time
Beating in the same timeNo matter who we are
No matter what we do
Every day we can choose
To say..If you wanna steal my show
I’ll sit back and watch you go
If you got something to say
Go on and take it away
Need you to steal my show
Can’t wait to watch you go oh oh oh
So take it awayMy life!
My pride!
My heart!
It’s all yours now
Take it awayMy fame!
My feet!
My family, my career
Take it away
Take it away
It’s all yours now
So take it away
Take it away
It’s you I wanna live for

Now This video is going to show up again next month. I have a completely different post based on these lyrics and video talking about ministry in general. But when we adopt this attitude NO MATTER WHAT we are doing – the impact is HUGE! In a very positive way!

Negative Nancy #2

This type of Negative Nancy could also be called Eeeyore. It is the “woe is me life is terrible I might as well go eat worms” Group. Life is hard and I will stand here and confirm that some people’s lives are just harder than others for whatever reason. That’s not for me to judge. I’m not God and I don’t know or understand what goes into all of this. I can tell you though that there are GOBS of examples of people throughout scripture that faced horrible life circumstances.

I could list them all out but that would take another 100 days and a completely different series…maybe another year! Maybe Next years #31day2022!!! (I know that is not a thing yet!)

But there is a huge difference between the examples in the Bible and these types of Negative Nancys. These negative Nancys wallow in the pain of their circumstances letting it become the definition of who they are.

The examples in the Bible chose the Even if…..I still will mentality. They choose joy over the horribleness of what they are going through. They choose to take their eyes off of themselves and place them on Jesus. He’s their ONLY reason for Hope.

A Few Examples

ALL of the prophets and judges in the Old Testament. They had to deliver news of consequences that the Israelites would be facing. They were not a cared for group. Sometimes they were threatened and sometimes hunted down and killed. (Elijah at the hands of Ahab and Jezebel 1 Kings 19:14)

The Woman with the Issue of blood- who suffered for 12 years. According to Levitical law she was unclean and couldn’t have any social interaction with anyone..TWELVE YEARS- (how’s that for perspective according to the last 18 months?).

Then There’s Paul and perhaps my favorites- talk about a radically changed man. Once a persecutor of Christ followers now living and serving Jesus with all he has!

Here’s a run down of Pauls life after conversion to Christianity.

 23 Are they servants of Christ? I know I sound like a madman, but I have served him far more! I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. 24 Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. 26 I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not.[a] 27 I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.

28 Then, besides all this, I have the daily burden of my concern for all the churches. 29 Who is weak without my feeling that weakness? Who is led astray, and I do not burn with anger? (2 Corinthians 11:23-29 NLT)

I don’t know about you but despite all the struggles I have faced in my life mime doesn’t compare to all that Paul had faced in roughly 32 years of serving Jesus. The above account doesn’t mention his blindness at conversion which many scholars believe could be his “thorn in the flesh” he struggled with which is mentioned a few times throughout scripture and a snake bite. And yet DESPITE all of that Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Be thankful in ALL circumstances for this is God’s will for youth belong to Christ Jesus.” (NLT)

And this sentiment is reiterated over and over again throughout Paul’s writings. If ever there was a man who could be negative and lose hope in his circumstances it was Paul. He would eventually be persecuted to the point of death- and still he counted it all joy.

AND THEN THERE IS JESUS. The Messiah. The one hoped for and prayed for. He came to earth and was rejected…..rejected so much that he was crucified. He knew how he was going to die. Rejected by his closest friends. In his final moments his father in heaven turned his back on him and yet he prayed for us- not condemned those who stood and yelled crucify him…he prayed “Father forgive them – because they don’t know what they are doing.”

A Song that Captures the attitude

A song that really challenges us to really see that this negative way of thinking isn’t helpful. Instead we have the greatest thing to be thankful for…GRACE.

And the perfect song to illustrate this is GRACE GOT YOU by MercyMe

Have you ever met those who
Keep hummin’ when the song’s through?
It’s like they’re living life to a whole different tune
And have you ever met those that
Keep hoping when it’s hopeless?
It’s like they figured out what the rest haven’t yetThe second you realize what you have inside
It’s only just a matter of time…’Til you sing, so the back row hears you
Glide ’cause walkin’ just won’t do
Dance, you don’t have to know how to
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Laugh, ’til your whole side’s hurtin’
Smile like you just got away with somethin’, why?
‘Cause you just got away with somethin’
Ever since, ever since Grace got youSo when you’re standin’ in the rain again
You might as well be dancin’, why? ‘Cause there ain’t no storm that can change how this ends
So next time when you feel blue
Don’t let that smile leave you, why?
‘Cause you have every reason just toSing, so the back row hears you
Glide, ’cause walkin’ just won’t do
Dance, you don’t have to know how to
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Laugh, ’til your whole side’s hurtin’
Smile like you just got away with somethin’, why?
‘Cause you just got away with somethin’
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Grace got youGot away with somethin’, bubblin’ inside of you
Spillin’ over ’cause your life is full, how incredible
Undeniable, monumental like the Eiffel
Uncontrollable, let the joy flow through – haha
Giddy, over pretty, pretty please
Let me see your hands in the air with you out your seats
Warm it up, let go, shout it out, celebrate
When you can’t articulate just say, “Amazing grace”The second you realize what you have inside
It’s only just a matter of (only just a matter of)
It’s only just a matter of time (just a matter of time)’Til you sing, so the back row hears you
Glide ’cause walkin’ just won’t do
Dance, you don’t have to know how to
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Laugh, ’til your whole side’s hurtin’
Smile like you just got away with somethin’, why?
‘Cause you just got away with somethin’
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah
Grace got you
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah
Grace got you
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah
Grace got you

When we choose negativity over Joy…..

We are thwarting God’s plan for our lives. He wants us to be grateful to him in all circumstances. And as much as that is difficult there are still things to be grateful for. Even though people aren’t doing things they way we would like them to be done (preferences) we can still be encouraging. We can choose to build up and not tear down. We can choose to cheer on others. And if we don’t make those choices that we have a powerfully negative influence.

Now it’s your turn

Our lack of Joy and focus of the negative can be one of the very first negative influences we can have on people. We need to ask and rely on God to change this in our lives. And the very first Step we can make is choosing a life of gratitude and encouragement. Choosing to thank God for the smallest of blessings in our lives radically changes us because it takes our minds ff f ourselves and puts our attention where it rightly belongs.

We all struggle with this and please know that you aren’t alone. Choosing to see that helps us to be grateful. Knowing that God has provided examples of people who have gone before us who have struggled in great ways and still chosen hope and joy in the middle of it all should serve as a great encouragement to us. (Have you ever read Corrie ten Boom’s Story?). It’s doesn’t mean that life get’s easier or that all the sorrows of this life will disappear. It’s how we handle those sorrows and who we give the glory in the middle.

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey.

Check. out These links

Write 31 Days 2018 Influence Posts

Choosing Courage 100 Day Writing Project

Write 31 Days 2021 Link up List. (Scroll to the bottom)