A Bitter Choice Made

I don’t talk much on here about our school choices for our kids, but I have wrestled…oh how I have wrestled.

We have chosen a path for our children, one that was rooted in much prayer and I’d girded with much sacrifice.

I want to preface this with two disclaimers

1.  I have nothing against parents who send their kids to public school.

2.  I have nothing against parents who homeschool their kids.

So those two things being said, I expect understanding that we chose the path of Christian school for our kids.  We have received a lot of flack from mostly Christians about why we have chosen that path.  

It’s expensive…yep!

It’s different….Yep.

I’m not going to sit here and apologize for it either..  My husband and I are both products of public school.  I transferred my senior year to a Christian school.   It was by far the best year of school until that point.  I have a great group of friends that extend out of that….thanks Dave, Richie, Howie, Greg,Goldie Tom and Jeff.  I still laugh at loud at some of the antics, lunch conversations……and study hall mischief (Mrs H you were the best!). Were the kids perfect ?  No way !

But as we had kids and I tried doing preschool…..I quickly learned homeschooling was NOT for me!  I could do it, but that’s not what God wanted for me….I was miserable and so was Tornado!   Then we moved…..we prayed, we did our homework.  We prayed, we prayed and we prayed! AND WE PRAYED SOME MORE!   We attended parents nights and finally settled for what we thought we could afford.   

Here are some fundamental truths we clung to as we made this decision.

1.  God wants us to be good stewards of all that he has given us, whether that’s our money, our cars, our house OR our children!

2.  We should not put in garbage into our bodies, or minds.  We define “garbage of the mind anything that  goes against God’s word!

3.  That we must teach our children to love and honor God, in all that we say and do.

That’s just a few.  And when I say we settled, I really mean we settled.  It wasn’t the best choice for our family….it was the most reasonable!.  And we paid for it too!   Our kids were broken.   Even I as their parent was afraid of parent/teacher conferences..

I don’t know which was worse, the day I heardthe teacher of my two oldest screaming at the class down the hall, or the day they told us our autistic son was not welcome to come back!  

So we found ourselves searching.  This time with new eyes….eyes wide open….what school is best for our kids?  At this point we lived in a different district.  Evaluations were being done on  weasel, a one to one aid, Speech, Physical, and occupational therapy.   But our question was public or private…..a lot of people asked why not homeschool him?   

1.  He’s autistic…we have a lot of friends who do that, homeschool their autistic kids….BUT, our little UNsocial butterfly would be much happier not a part of a group, but it is far better for him  to be with people and learn social skills!

2.  He would be I eligible for help, and I nor my husband are qualified to get him past the hurdles he has to overcome in school.

So that left us with two options.

Private or Public?

Well we were still convicted on the three listed above but now we also had to ask, which is best going to nurture the mind of an autistic kid who can’t  differentiate between reality and make believe….OR ….at best accepts pretty much everything he sees and hears as truth.   

Now I’m not looking for a theological discussion on post modern philosophy.   I will just explain it like this….if it goes against God’s word then it’s not truth!   That’s our FAITH,no religion, not something we just pulled out of the air.  It’s our convictions!

So Christian school it is.

We are constantly teaching God’s word here at home.

The character qualities of Jesus.   You see a lot of people view Christian school as the safe education of their children.  “They learned it at school so I don’t have to worry about it here! At home!”  That is where we differ from a lot of people I guess….we look at school especially Christian school as a back up, a safety net.  A place that is going to follow through on what we are teaching at home and church.   A place I don’t have to second guess that what they are teaching is contradicting the bible and their dad ( a pastor) .

But now I find my self deep in sadness.  A bit of confusion because we were sure God was leading us to have weasel in this particular school….this school is great, but it’s not meshing well. Our other kids are very happy and are excelling!  But now I feel as though my back is against the wall.  I love the people he’s working with at the public school he has made great strides and improvements, but I can’t help the feeling that I am sending my poor defenseless sheep into hungry wolves.  To confuse him.  I feel like I’m not doing a good enough job protecting his mind and what goes in.  I know he will be taught things contrary to God’s word.   

It’s like a neat lady once told me you need to hold your husband and your children with an open hand, for when you are holding them too tightly , you may have to let go.   I have protecting him for so long now, watching every little thing that enters his body, whether it be by mouth, eyes, or ears….it is now that I must let Go and let God do the guarding and protecting his mind.  I must trust God….for I know not what else  to do!