Self-Control - Positive Influence Trait #9

Well good morning everyone! And welcome to our last positive. Influence Trait : Self-Control. A few months ago I was sitting in church and our pastor Justin was talking about self- control and how self-control wasn’t really about us being in control of ourselves, but rather the Holy Spirit being in control of us. And when that happens we are free from the “try harder and do better” mentalities we all have.

I wish I could explain to you what happened that day. It had been an incredibly rough few months and I was teetering on the edge of what felt like insanity! The amount of anxiety I was dealing with was terrible. (we had no concept yet that the anxiety was based on extremely low iron levels) And each day was just another day of me striving to try harder and do better- BUT I was failing. The anxiety had gotten so bad that I was convinced it was the food I was eating that was causing my heart to race- I was hardly eating anything.

Truth sets us free

When Justin spoke this truth and I realized that I was living that life of ” try harder and do better” I was set free. Did it mean the anxiety left? NOPE NOT ONE BIT. It actually got worse. BUT because I had yielded my control (the food I ate- which was rooted in fear by the way), I experienced PEACE.

Something strange started to happen- As I relinquished my control over certain areas I began to experience these traits.

What happens when we “try harder to do better”

This isn’t to say that I have arrived because my goodness I have not. There are moments that I struggle with ALL of those traits and it becomes glaringly obvious that I am seeking my own way, “that I am trying to do better and try harder.”

Those days aren’t full of love- because I don’t have the ability to love in my own strength.
I cannot choose joy when I don’t have a grateful heart for all that Jesus has done.
Peace doesn’t show up when I am fretting over how much better I can be and how much harder I need to try,
Patience is turned to impatience because I haven’t surrendered my ways over the ways of Jesus.
Kindness is lost in the fervor of doing better, just checking things off the list in las mode ( have you ever noticed how unkind people get when it’s all about checking things off their to-do list?)
Goodness is is drowned out when we seek our own ways over God’s ways. God’s ways are good my ways are mediocre at best.
Faithfulness becomes unimportant because it’s no longer about God but all about me and those who have been unfaithful to me.
Gentleness becomes a thing of the past because well harshness has won over.
And when all of those things are lost – my emotions, behaviors and desires are all out of whack. We are no longer a controlled self.

That’s what it comes down to

Not that I have self- control but that I am a controlled by the Holy Spirit! We have come full circle!

And my heart is light because I know it’s no longer about checking this list off. I cannot do this without the Holy Spirit. If I want these to be markers of my walk with God I HAVE to yield complete control of r my life to him. There are so many things we want to hold onto that we believe we need to do on our own. But that is a lie from Satan. We are NEVER called to be lone rangers on this journey we call life

And when we recognize this- our lives begin to change radically. AMD THAT CHANGE takes the eyes off of us and puts it where it rightly belongs! ON JESUS- And That my friends is the most powerful positive influence you can have!

Now it’s your turn.

This perhaps is the hardest t choice you have to make. Hardest because surrendering your thoughts, emotions, desires and rights is so very hard. But when you start to do so ad you quit striving to do better and work harder, the most incredible sense of freedom happens.

So, ask yourself “what am I holding onto?” “what am I trying harder to do better in my life?”

Then ask God to change your heart- give him all the junk you are holding onto ( this isn’t a once and done thing either). Sometimes we are on a minute by minute yielding of my own way. Give Him that “do better and try harder” life style and rely on Him to change us.

Thank you for joining me on this journey! As we talk about the Power of your influence we are going to take a bit of a break from traits. We have gone through all of the positive traits so far and in a day or so we will jump into the Negative Influence traits (Hint we have already talked about them).