Rudeness: Negative Influence Trait #5

Rudeness- It’s a plague to us as humans and even more within the church. And it boils right down to a cycle and it starts with yesterday’s Negative Influence, Impatience, and in the end it is all a result of an unloving spirit.

Rudeness is defined as being offensively impolite, or ill-mannered and as having a startling abruptness.

Have you ever met anyone who fits this definition.? I have and it can be downright embarrassing. I have watched people be harmed and I have been harmed by rude people.

1 Corinthians 133 says

(Love)…is not rude, it does not insist on it’s own way…..

In every occurrence that I have witnessed someone being rude it has been because “their way” has been inconvenienced or negatively impacted. It starts with their impatience with someone who is creating an inconvenience of some sort…..and from there skip ahead a few traits and we land at harshness.

Now as a parent I know that I can fall into the trap of impatience and if I don’t weed that out quickly I can become rude and harsh. AND as a parent I can confirm that THIS is a huge problem amongst siblings.

It is something as parents we have to teach and train our children to be – to become patient with each other and to look out for each other’s interests. You know what, I am almost certain that most Christians would tell you that they had someone in their lives as young children who taught them to be kind. I know that these people can quote all the verses in the Bible about how you should love others and how you should treat other people.

But there is a disconnect-

That disconnect is that they are embracing what the world keeps telling us. To watch out for numero uno. We are told all the time- that we need to protect our time, our energy and our money….and on and on and on, all while we quote bible passages that state the exact opposite.

So where is the disconnect? The disconnect is that we have taken the worlds advice to heart because it’s easier, It’s easy to protect ourselves. It’s hard to be self -sacrificing l, love- centered person. We “know” what is right to say in church and in our “Christian ” circles but when the rubber meets the road what is hidden in our hearts will come bubbling out.

Sadly I have seen the true hearts come bubbling out onto some poor unsuspecting soul. NowI know that a bad day and stress can have a negative influence on a moment. However, when the same person/people hurt others repeatedly it becomes glaringly obvious that there is a heart issue.

The Problem is….

When we embrace the way the world tells us how to live and how to protect ourselves and we ignore what we know to be true- how God instructs us to love and care for others, we have committed sin. We can see this in James 4:17 NLT

¹⁷Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.

Nad despite all of this we have hurt people. and 9 times out of 10 either we don’t realize it or we just plain don’t care!

Rudeness is a negative influence in multiple ways.

It hurts( usually) a completely innocent person who is blindsided by the rudeness
Usually a person who is rude chooses to be rude in front of a group of people. So not only is the person being hurt, but the group witnessing the rude behavior is being impacted. Some are stunned and saddened by the poor behavior and others are finding it funny. Either way the person being rude s having a negative influence and is being a horrible example.
The person being rude is ruining any testimony they might have with people who are witnessing the poor behavior. It’s very hard to take someone seriously who says to little kids “be kind” and then watch that person be rude to their mother or father. Their credibility is lost and they become known as a hypocrite.
The aren’t being a Christ emulator. Jesus was never rude and never sought his own way. Instead he was insanely patient.
They are defaming Jesus.

A persoanl experience and a lasting impression

One day I stood with a group of woman chatting about something. (Don’t really remember what). All of a sudden another woman rudely butted into the conversation and asked me if I wanted something. I politely replied “no thank you I just downsized my own” to which she rudely snapped back “I didn’t want story time I just wanted a yes or no”. I was stunned ,embarrassed, hurt, and heartbroken. This woman was in leadership, she knew better than to treat anyone like that. I wish I could say it was an anomaly however this woman had treated me and others this way more times that I could count. It was heart breaking because yes it hurt but I saw the disgusted look on the other women faces and I knew that her testimony and credibility was severely damaged.

What does God think?

The world tells us not to care what others think. But what about God? What did God think about her behavior? Did others see Jesus’ gracious and loving-kindness through her ? Sadly no.

Sadly she just laughed that stuff off and really has no concept of what her rudeness has done . She has no idea just how damaging her negative influence has been And perhaps that is the most heartbreaking of all. I know she could have had an incredible impact based on her life experiences.

And yet she chose to seek her own way over patience and kindness that God commands of us.

Now it’s your turn

Have you ever been told that you are rude? Do you make snide comments and treat people poorly? Especially when it is an inconvenience for you? Are you impatient and unkind? Do you have thoughts and feelings of such? Ask God to reveal to you the condition of your heart. Ask Him to make you aware of what needs to change and ask him to show you who you have hurt

AND THEN (here’s the hard part)

APOLOGIZE.. But don’t just say empty words work through those thoughts and emotions with God and ask him to change them and then you need to make the hard choice to set our “rights” aside and put others first. Yes that is counter cultural but it is biblical.

Thank You so much for joining me on this journey! I pray that you have found growth and encouragement along the way.