(This blog post was originally written in September of 2024, but never got published now is the time. For further information on what this post is about check out this post here)
I have been going around and around and around about what this crazy blog post should be called We have just passed a year since our day in Federal Court and the week leading up to said day in court hubby and I experoienced a mountain climb like no other.
Injured.
The prvious two years I had severly injured both of my ankles. In 2022 it was my left ankle We were pretty sure that I had broken it or some part of my foot due to the black streak across the top of my foot that lingered for months . In June of 2023 I had a serious mishap with a wet hose in the pouring rain as I ran to cover some very delicate seedlings. Needless to say the seedlings never got covered and I ended up on a chair with a very swollen ankle, knee and sore hip. Did I mention it was the same one. I couldn’t bend it very well again. Crutches, a brace and a long healing time.
Over my lifetime I have become accustomed to falls. It really is the life of a person with a visual impairment as my depth perception is lacking. Ron will often alert me to steps or uneven ground.
Just before I fell last year my two dear friends Steph and Beth had been asking me about our “case”. We had never heard the outsome as Ron’s phone was stolen. and that was the only way the US attorney could contact us. Honestly we just wanted to let it go and forget about it but these two friends…..so I googled like all good techie girls do….It wasn’t my first rodeo in this search.
But this time I landed on a different site. All the others had been the same, no info 2-3 years old right from the time he was arrested. USELSS was about the best word to descibe the websearch, but then…..a new link still a few years old but this one had the phone number OF THE ATTORNEYS OFFUICE.
I turned off my phoe.
I sat there staring at it. A voice echoing in my head….CALL. Call now.
I picked up my phone and tapped the number.
it was staring me in the face….CALL
I clicked call
RING RING RING
hello?
The rest os kinda a blur …I said who I was and how I was related to the case. All I wanted to know was, What happemed?
He was arrested in 2021, surely he must be tried and sentenced by now. Nope. He plead out. Sentencing would be in a few months. Wow. Just wow. Let’s just say the real court system does NOT operate on the same time allotment as Law and Order!
The sweet lady on the end of the phone told me that if the Attorney needed us (WAIT WHAT?) she would let us know by the end of the following week. The following week came and went and so did two more weeks. Then one day when I was at church My phone rang. Hi is the Mrs_______This is Assisstant US ATTORNEY________ Can we talk?
The next 30-45 minutes was full of lots of information I never EVER wanted to know about the case. Sentencing was scheduled for the end of August. It was likely to be rescheduled. Would you and Mr _________ be willing to testify in the sentencing or write victim impact statements. OH and would you consider letting your kids testify???
By this point I was Shaking by the overload of all that I had just heard and learned. Let alone being asked if I would be willing for my children come face to face with their abuser. For the first time time in 9 years. Everything within my body screamed “heck no.”
We were warned that sentencing might be changed from August to a later date. And even more so.
Sentencing was rescheduled for the end of September. Life was a whirlwind of crazy emotions. Not just for Ron and I but for all of our kids as well. In the middle of the wait my ankle was getting better but I had no flexibility in it and I was wearing a brace 24/7.
We had agreed to go on vacation with Steph and her family in early September which was a very welcomed distraction to say the leaset, all the while the US Attourney kept saying ” we aren’t sure if we need the kids yet”
The week before sentencing Ron and I spent almost every waking hour talking about and writing 4 victim impact statements that would be turned into the judge. I emailed mine first. Then the two kids. One week before the sentencing we said goodbye to our kiddos and headed off to a pastot’s and wives Retreat. I can hnestly say we were highly distracted and other than mealtimes we didnt spend much time with others. What we did do was we spent a whole lot of time hiking. We hiked and talked bum ankle and knee included. We hiked every trail but one. The one with the scenic outlook. With each passing day and the trails I was gaining some flexibility back in said ankle. Finally the last day Ron Looked at me and said ” Mary you wanna try it”. I reluctanty said yes.
Just like he did on every other hike Ron would say, Step here, hold onto my shoulder, hold my hand I will guide you.”
God does that right? He wants us to lean on him and trust his movement in our lives. Leaning on him, holing our hands, guiding us. In these monents over the last 9 years we have had no choice but to lean on God, let him direct us because blazing new trails is not an option.
We started off kinda rough. The camp hadnt taken down the signs for the old yellow trail so we were misguided for a bit.
So many people had good intentions over the last 10 years trying to sooth our wounds. “don’t worry te kids will forget”. Don’t buy that lie, they don’t and they won’t ever firget. there were lots of other misdirected advice as well.
We got turned back around, headed in the right direction….and then I came face to face with something I find terrifying…A LADDER. Im not afraid to say it, Im deathly afraid of heights, and Im ok with that. So now what? This thing was terrifying…..NOTHING was holding me back from this. Ron offered multiple times to turn around. BUT I’m stubborn, he knows this. So slowly (without looking down) climbed that crazy ladder.
the trail smoothed out after this. we left the stony rocky terraine of Pennsylvania Creek beds and boulder fields for a steeper climb. THIS WAS HARD. I kept telling Ron this really does signify the last nine yers. For parts of this trail he had his hand on my back pushing me albeit gently forward. We have taken that role on for each other over the years. Supporting each other through all the hard climbs we’ve faced.
As you climb mountains, the higher you get, the thinner the trees get. It was a beautiful fall day and as we climbed we were getting closer and closer to the top, just a few more feet Ron would tell me. Just a few more feet. I stopped to catch my breath. There were a group of teens ahead enjoying the overlook. The top was just steps away….my phone rang. We were 5 days till sentencing and this was the Atttorneys office.
Hi Mrs_____ this is so and so (the advocate we were working with. ) __________ wanted me to call and tell you that the kids won’t need to testify in sentencing. Matter of fact they don’t even need to come that day. Your victim impact statemnts to the judge were enough. The tears flowed freely. I dont even remember saying goodbye to the advocate. The teens passed by and I didn’t care.
A few steps further and we stepped into the overlook break in the trees. We could see everything. The whole camp. We had the whole picture. Answered prayers. A willingness to “do the next right thing” whatever that looked like. Was it easy? NOT A CHANCE. We had endured that 9 year climb. WE never stopped doing the next right thing. Making Jesus our center focus. teaching each one of our kids what forgiveness and grace looks llike. Were there times I wanted to quit on that hike. 100%. BUT i kept taking that next step forward. We enjoyed the moment. Praising God for walking with us on this journey and for caring for our family. For providig the friends who would journey with us to court the next week.
But that moment lasted but a brief moment. because what came next was we had to go back the way we came or do we head down the other side? Hmmmm. Down the otherside of course. We needed to go full circle right? At least thats how my brain worked? The catch….ITS STEEEEEEP. And my ankle doesn’t bend easily that way, but we did it anyway.
My hands firmly placed on Ron’s shoulders each step of the way. I leaned on him. He told me with each step where to place my feet. If I didn’t quite listen or get it right my ankle would tweak and I would grimmace in pain. Ron’s shoulders hurt for days afterwards.
What a picture of love and care and sacrifice Ron had for me. I really believe that he modeled Jesus’ love for us in those moments.. AT one point he even offered to carry me to which a loudly declined. ….something about not wanting to fall down the mountain… ( thats a story for another blog post). One more analogy for you though. Coming down the other side of the mountain…..in the weeks following the sentencing our kids struggled with a lot of questions, fear and anxiety. It wasn’t all rainbows and flowers after.
As we neared the road and I could see the end of the hike in sight I let go of Ron’s hand. I sprang to one rock and then another and another until i stepped on a loose rock. I fell. I twisted that bad akle and Ron said, I told you to be careful. I didn’t heed his warning. I didn’t hold onto him. I could finish by myself. I reached out and I held his hand, even on the flat road -we had done it. We completeled this leg of the journey and I knew going into the following Wednesday that our friends who journeyed with us would be holding our hands. giving us stregth. being Jesus just like Ron had been. So thank you, Alyssa, Dawn, Justin, Annie, Mike, Steph, and Beth for helping us take those next steps to our mountain top and down the other side. We are so grateful for all of you!
Blessings,
Mary
